The first ballot I ever cast was in the 1988 federal election. The campaign was essentially a plebecite on whether Canada should enter into a free trade agreement with the United States. The Progressive Conservatives under Brian Mulroney were for the deal that they had spent several years negotiating with the Reagan administration, and the Liberals and New Democratic Party promised to "tear Mulroney's deal up." I voted for Mulroney and the Free Trade Agreement.
I also supported the 1993 North American Free Trade Agreement, which essentially included Mexico into the FTA. Both agreements were deeply divisive in Canada, having the support of just over 50% of the population. To a much lesser degree, it remains so even today.
Just before Christmas I read Mulroney's 1,100 page Memoirs: 1939-1993, which deals with the FTA and its negotiations in great detail. One of the great surprises in the book is how often the deal nearly collapsed due to President Reagan's lack of seriousness in negotiating. It is only because of the last minute involvement of the Secretary of the Treasury and Reagan intimate, James Baker, that the FTA was finally agreed upon.
If you're interested in trade agreements and the negotiations behind them, I can't recommend the Mulroney memoirs enough. I'd also recommend the book to Senator Barack Obama.
During Thursday night's MSNBC debate, both Hillary Clinton and Obama promised to reopen NAFTA negotiations if elected president. Since Clinton isn't likely to be a factor in the election after Tuesday's primaries in Ohio, Texas, Vermont and Rhode Island, I'll focus on Obama's statements.
SEN. OBAMA: Well, I think that it is inaccurate for Senator Clinton to say that she's always opposed NAFTA. In her campaign for Senate, she said that NAFTA, on balance, had been good for New York and good for America. I disagree with that. I think that it did not have the labor standards and environmental standards that were required in order to not just be good for Wall Street but also be good for Main Street. And if you travel through Youngstown and you travel through communities in my home state of Illinois, you will see entire cities that have been devastated as a consequence of trade agreements that were not adequately structured to make sure that U.S. workers had a fair deal.
Now, I think that Senator Clinton has shifted positions on this and believes that we should have strong environmental standards and labor standards, and I think that's a good thing. But you know, when I first moved to Chicago in the early '80s and I saw steelworkers who had been laid off of their plants -- black, white, and Hispanic -- and I worked on the streets of Chicago to try to help them find jobs, I saw then that the net costs of many of these trade agreements, if they're not properly structured, can be devastating.
And as president of the United States, I intend to make certain that every agreement that we sign has the labor standards, the environmental standards and the safety standards that are going to protect not just workers, but also consumers. We can't have toys with lead paint in them that our children are playing with. We can't have medicines that are actually making people more sick instead of better because they're produced overseas. We have to stop providing tax breaks for companies that are shipping jobs overseas and give those tax breaks to companies that are investing here in the United States of America.
(...)
MR. RUSSERT: I want to ask you both about NAFTA because the record, I think, is clear. And I want to -- Senator Clinton. Senator Obama said that you did say in 2004 that on balance NAFTA has been good for New York and America. You did say that. When President Clinton signed this bill -- and this was after he negotiated two new side agreements, for labor and environment -- President Clinton said it would be a force for economic growth and social progress. You said in '96 it was proving its worth as free and fair trade. You said that -- in 2000 -- it was a good idea that took political courage. So your record is pretty clear.
Based on that, and which you're now expressing your discomfort with it, in the debate that Al Gore had with Ross Perot, Al Gore said the following: "If you don't like NAFTA and what it's done, we can get out of it in six months.
The president can say to Canada and Mexico, we are out. This has not been a good agreement." Will U.S. president say we are out of NAFTA in six months?
SEN. CLINTON: I have said that I will renegotiate NAFTA, so obviously, you'd have to say to Canada and Mexico that that's exactly what we're going to do. But you know, in fairness --
MR. RUSSERT: Just because -- maybe Clinton --
SEN. CLINTON: Yes, I am serious.
MR. RUSSERT: You will get out. You will notify Mexico and Canada, NAFTA is gone in six months.
SEN. CLINTON: No, I will say we will opt out of NAFTA unless we renegotiate it, and we renegotiate on terms that are favorable to all of America.
(...)
MR. RUSSERT: But let me button this up. Absent the change that you're suggesting, you are willing to opt out of NAFTA in six months?
SEN. CLINTON: I'm confident that as president, when I say we will opt out unless we renegotiate, we will be able to renegotiate.
MR. RUSSERT: Senator Obama, you did in 2004 talk to farmers and suggest that NAFTA had been helpful. The Associated Press today ran a story about NAFTA, saying that you have been consistently ambivalent towards the issue. Simple question: Will you, as president, say to Canada and Mexico, "This has not worked for us; we are out"?
SEN. OBAMA: I will make sure that we renegotiate, in the same way that Senator Clinton talked about. And I think actually Senator Clinton's answer on this one is right. I think we should use the hammer of a potential opt-out as leverage to ensure that we actually get labor and environmental standards that are enforced. And that is not what has been happening so far.
One should note by the examples that both Clinton and Obama cite that their quarrel isn't with NAFTA but with China and India, neither of which is party to NAFTA.
Having said that, maybe it is time to renegotiate NAFTA.
When the FTA was first being negotiated in the mid-1980s, Canada was an economic basket case. The government was spending $1.23 cents for every dollar that it took in. Over a third of government revenues were devoted just to servicing the massive debt accumulated by sixteen years of the Trudeau government. Since there was no political will to cut spending in a serious way, the only alternative was to increase GDP, and free trade was the best way to accomplish that.
Circumstances, as you may have noticed, have changed somewhat. As I write this, Canada is the only G8 country not operating at a deficit. The Alberta oilsands have made us the largest supplier of crude oil to the United States, with reserves roughly equal to those of Saudi Arabia.
As a consequence of President Bush's insane spending and tax policies, the United States is a fiscal mess. The American dollar is well on its way to being worthless, and because of the collapse of the housing market and rising energy costs, it could very well be facing a resurgent "stagflation" unseen since the 1970s. For the first time, more cars are produced in Ontario than in Michigan. We have the largest supply of fresh water in the world, which is something something the U.S will only need more of in the future as its population increasingly moves to the Southwest.
And the United States under Presidents Clinton and Bush haven't been the most reliable trade partners in the world. The softwood lumber dispute, which the U.S essentially stole $5 billion from Canada, is the most prominent example of this. Despite two rulings against it by the NAFTA abritration panel and one by the World Trade Organization against the United States, the Bush asministration pointedly refused to keep its word and abide by its own agreements. This story wasn't widely reported in America because President Bush was also pointedly ignoring the fact that one his major cities was under water at the time.
As I wrote at the time, I was completely prepared to withdraw from NAFTA in September of 2005. There's very little to be gained from engaging people whose word you can't trust. The United States has proven itself to be the Saddam Hussein of trade over and over again.
Former Prime Minister Jean Chretien explained how this happens in his recent memoir My Years as Prime Minister. According to Chretien, an American president can find himself under tremendous pressure from regional senators affected by trade imbalances, real or preceived and will sometimes bend to their whims.
There are two problems with Monsieur Chretien's explanation. Firstly, a president's disagreements with the legislative branch aren't Canada's problem. If you can't abide by your word, you shouldn't give it in the first place. Second, President Bush isn't exactly famous for his deference to Congress on other issues, why should he be with this one?
There's another issue that might prove problematic for the Clinton - Obama position. That would be whether the Executive Branch can unilaterally withdraw from a treaty that the Senate has ratified persuant to Article 2, Section 2 of the Constitution. Unless and until the Supreme Court clears up the ambiguities of Goldwater v. Carter, I'll take the word of an American president less seriously than I already do.
But let's assume that there is a President Obama in the near future and he does threaten American withdrawl from NAFTA. That would put Canada is a pretty enviable position. As things currently stand and will for the forseeable future, the United States needs NAFTA a whole lot more than Canada does. We have a measure fiscal breathing room and haven't spent the last decade antagonozing the rest of the world.
As soon as an Obama administration threatens withdrawl pending renegotiation, Canada can (and probably should) preempt it by withdrawing immediately without renegotiation. We can sign unilateral deals with the European Union, China and India and Australia to make up what we lose from the abrogation of NAFTA. Besides, we can make a small fortune on the tariffs we impose on American bound oil. If the United States doesn't like $3 a gallon gas, let's see how they like it at five or six dollars. Or they can just buy more from their greats friends, Hugo Chavez and the House of Saud. After the latest round of anti-Mexican rhetoric in American political circles, I can't imagine they'd be rushing to do the United States any favors either. By the way, Canada and Mexico would still have a free trade agreement, we'd just cut out the greedy and self-defeating middle man.
As things currently stand, Canada is bound to continuing the oil and water supplies to the U.S at preferred rates, even if our own market faces shortages. The same is true of electricity, which is largely generated by Canadian hydroelectric dams. I'd sure like to see cheaper gas and electricity, stopping the below market subsidization to American consumption would certainly accomplish that.
But if President Obama wants to improve labor and environmental standards, fine. The United States can adopt ours. We do have the highest standard of living in North America, after all. That would mean an immediate repeal of the Taft-Hartley Act of 1947. That should be popular in "Right to Work" states.
While we're at it, Canada should also demand the immediate repeal of the Helms-Burton Act of 1996. The days where Washington can dictate Ottawa's foreign and trade policies should be officially over. Failure to do so should result in a similiar measure to punish American companies and individuals that do business with an independent Kosovo. Something tells me that Russia, China, India, Greece and Spain would be willing to join us on that.
Upon abrogation of NAFTA, Canada should immediately support the European Union in any and all WTO disputes regarding agricultural subsidies. Sure, Canadians will pay more for oranges, but we'll make the money back in what we'll charge you for heating oil, electricity and water.
Upon abrogation of NAFTA, Canada should impose a tariff of three dollars a barrel on oil exported to the United States.
Just for fun, we could cut the export price of wheat, thereby singlehandedly destroying the American farm belt forever. Sure, we'd lose money in the short term, but we'd annhiliate our only real competition in the process and win in the end.
And you know what? American companies will continue to do business in Canada because what they save in health care benefits to their employees will be a greater saving than any retalitory tariffs by the United States would cost them. President Obama would very quickly find himself in the Vietnam of trade wars.
"Every time in history we have practised protectionism, we have paid a very heavy price for it," McCain said.
"I want to tell our Canadian friends … that I will negotiate and conclude free trade agreements and I will not, after entering into solemn agreements, go and say that I will abrogate those agreements."
The long-time Arizona senator then thanked Canada for its "enormous contribution" in the NATO-led mission in Afghanistan against Taliban and al-Qaeda insurgents, a key military alliance he said was "interconnected" with the close relationship the U.S. shares with its biggest trading partner.
"One of the greatest assets we have in Afghanistan today, frankly, are our Canadian friends," McCain said. "It's very controversial in Canada, their commitment and suffering and the losses they have faced. And we need, we need our Canadian friends and we need their continued support in Afghanistan."
And yes, Afghanistan and NATO itself could become entagled in any reopening of NAFTA. Afghanistan, which the American government has pointedly ignored since it decided it had better things to do in Iraq, is deeply unpopular in Canada. It is a huge domestic political issue and the Harper goverment was saved from falling over it only because Opposition Leader Stephane Dion is a nutless wonder.
If Senator Obama is willing to use Canada's economy as a means of winning a few votes in Ohio, perhaps the time has come for Canada to reconsider the relationship in its totality.
But the Democrats still don't know when to leave well enough alone. There have been news reports in the last week that the Obama campaign has sent word to the Canadian embassy that his rhetoric on NAFTA isn't to be taken seriously.
MR. RUSSERT: Let me show you another issue where there will be a big difference between John McCain and either Obama or Clinton, and that's NAFTA, Mary Matalin, North America Free Trade Agreement. Bill Clinton, the centerpiece of his presidency in 1993. What a difference 15 years makes. Here are both Democratic candidates coming out against NAFTA. Let's watch.
(Videotape)
MR. RUSSERT: Let me button this up. Absent the changes that you're suggesting, you are willing to opt out of NAFTA in six months?
SEN. CLINTON: I'm confident that as president, when I saw we will opt out unless we renegotiate, we will be able to renegotiate.
MR. RUSSERT: Senator Obama, simple question: Will you, as president, say to Canada and Mexico, "This has not worked for us. We are out"?
SEN. OBAMA: I will make sure that we renegotiate in the same way that Senator Clinton talked about. And I think, actually, Senator Clinton's answer on this one is right. I think we should use the hammer of a potential opt out as leverage to ensure that we actually get labor and environmental standards that are enforced.
(End videotape)
MS. MATALIN: Boy, so wrong on so many levels. First of all, the--25 percent of our growth is dependent on exports right now. NAFTA has worked. Thirty-five percent of our trading is through NAFTA partners. He's wrong. Secondly, our best friends, Canada, is sitting on--they're sitting on our most secure source of foreign oil. Those sands up there have as much oil as Saudi Arabia. And Harper and the trade minister came out and said, "You want to opt out? You want to threaten to opt out? Guess what. We'll open up the clause, and we'll renegotiate so you don't get favor--favorability relative to energy trade, and I--we'll sell our energy to China." It was so naive. And he--and he opened himself up to a real volatility, because in '04 he said enormously beneficial on NAFTA. So he's either lying in '04 or he's lying to Ohioans now. And then he had that Canadian thing, where, "I'm saying this, but I mean that," which the Canandians are continuing to say...
MR. SHRUM: He absolutely denied that, Mary, so let's at least be fair to him.
MS. MATALIN: Well, the Canadians are...
MR. SHRUM: And you've got...
MS. MATALIN: ...absolutely confirming it.
MR. SHRUM: ...you've got a right wing government in Canada that is trying to help the Republicans and is out there actively interfering in this campaign. I sure hope John McCain campaigns the length and breadth of Ohio and Pennsylvania for NAFTA throughout the fall.
Before I go further, I should point out that Bob Shrum is the biggest loser in the history of presidential politics. Each and every one of the seven campaigns that he's been involved in have been crushed. Anyone who knows anything about statistics knows that he should have been able to win at least one, if only by accident. His getting repeatedly destroyed at the ballot box suggests a genetic flaw more than anything else. Christ, the guy lost to George W. Bush, the most beatable candidate ever, twice!
As to my "right-wing government," Shrummy, it's the only thing keeping my country in Afghanistan at this point, and pretty much the only thing that keeps millions of Americans employed and rolling around in relatively cheap oil. You really don't want to see what a "left-wing" Canadian government would do. Our left-wingers don't like Americans at all.
Furthermore shithead, we aren't "interfering in this campaign." Barack Obama made us an issue in it. And the Obama campaign pointedly hasn't denied anything. Right now, they're refusing to comment. Hey, did you know that Obama's campaign strategist, David Axelrod, was also on the payroll of the Ontario Liberal Party?
The Conservative Mulroney government went to the wall twice on FTA and NAFTA. The Conservative Harper government is the only thing keeping Canadian forces in Afghanistan, fighting to preserve an almost retarded American strategy after the United States ran away to play sandbox with Iraq.
I'm as pro-American a guy as you're likely to find in Canada without being a tool. There's also a federal by-election where I live on the 17th. I'm seriously considering voting Conservative for the first time in eight years based solely on Afghanistan. I want to avenge the slaughter of 9/11 even if the Bush admistration isn't all that interested in doing so.
But I'm finding that harder to justify. No matter what we do for the United States, it's never enough. It doesn't matter that we're America's largest trading partner or that we've got your back against the lunatics who killed 3,000 of your people when you had something better to do.
When the United States closed its airspace and borders for three days after 9/11, where do you think the planes bound for America landed? Where do you think that the passengers stayed for those three days? They landed in Canada and were taken into Canadian homes as an act of friendship.
And what do we get for it? We get threatened by a pretend president who thinks that lying to unemployed Ohio steelworkers whose jobs aren't coming back is the path to replacing another pretend president who stole five billion dollars from us. Better still, we're getting threatened over disputes that have nothing at all to with us. You screwed us on SARS, Mad Cow disease and softwood lumber. The godamned Rolling Stones showed more loyalty to Canada than did the United States. You know, it seems at times that Iraq got more out of being America's enemy in the last twenty years than Canada did from being its best friend.
Because FTA/NAFTA allowed Canadian banks to play a major role in the United States (which explains how Sam Waterson works for us - the "TD" in "TD Ameritrade" actually stands for Toronto Dominion,) Canadian consumers are getting killed by your subprime lending disaster. The Bank of Canada keeps lowering interest rates, which we don't see because you insisted on giving houses to people who could never hope to pay for them, which exposed our banks to your losses. Simply put, I can't get a break on my monthly credit card interest because of made in America stupidity. Thanks for that.
Trust me, Canada isn't sending lead painted toys into the U.S and your tech support jobs aren't going to Toronto. The high end jobs that are coming to Canada come here because of the simple market economics of health care, which is your fucking problem, not mine. The United States has become one of the most unprofitable G8 countries to do business in for that reason.
But if you want to vote for a trade war, feel free. We're in a much better position to win it than you are. In the words of your 30% approval president, "Bring it on."
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What People Are Saying About skippy
"hands down, Canada's most underrated blog" Damian Penny, The Undisputed Dean of Canadian Political Bloggers. Posted at Daimnation , Saturday October 21, 2006
"You can count on “Skippy” to make you think in different ways about familiar issues. You can also depend on him to be rude, offensive, and outrageous – if you're offended by completely uninhibited sexual imagery (and imagination!), don't read Skippy – but your prudery will keep you from an often interesting perspective." Posted On: Jamulblog, July 12, 2007
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" .....sick."Posted By: Bee February 7, 2004
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government and our Senator can't live forever.Hell, even Strom, Thomas-Jefferson-Fan, Thurmond died
eventually.Posted By: Ford W. Mavrick, February 9, 2004
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know even less about history." Posted By: Dr. Reverend February 13, 2004
"Your blog's the best I have come across in a long time. I may not agree with all you say but the verve with which
you say it and the humour and irreverance is terrific. These days when the media just reproduces the handout from central
control, blogs like yours do a great deal to form informed opinion in a democratic society. Thanks. Keep it up."
Posted By:Anandan February 13, 2004
"SKIPPY pities ME? Where's my noose?" Posted By: Kilgore Trout March 22, 2004
"Jesus Skippy. Now Allah is going to kick you in the nuts" Posted By: Mary Magdalicious March 22, 2004
"I could make one that says "Skippy has a small penis" although his cock is superb. Posted By: Bestest Pussy March 23,2004
"Cunt sucking is for bitches.You're considered one of the girls because you dress like one. Posted By: Dr. Reverend March 24, 2004
"John Malkovich is one sexy bastard. I have such a thing for him. And I never realized til now, Skippy, how much you resemble John Malkovich...this, by default, makes you also one sexy bastard. See how that works?" Posted By: Zombie March, 26, 2004
"Too bad you live up north. It could have been beautiful.
Ever since I started coming here and saw your pic I wondered why you weren't getting more action. You are not a bad looking guy at all.
Maybe the girls are just...well, that's enough kindness for one day." Posted By: Serenity March 26, 2004
"Hell, if they make gay marriage legal, I'll marry you..." Posted By: Outpatient March 26, 2004
"You look creepier than the REM faggot. But he looks much more like a homersexual." Posted By: Dr. Reverend March 27, 2004
"Skippy, your hits will go up again if you post pictures of your man nipples. Lots of man nips." Posted By: Mary Magdalicious April 15, 2004
"What the fuck? You turning faggot? Posted By: Dr. Reverend April 16, 2004
"Sometimes it gets to be just a little too much. Sharing, that is." Posted By: Bee May 23, 2004
"I'll give you $5.00 if you make the fucking font you use on your blog bigger.
I'll give you $50.00 if you stop fucking writing about American politics.
I'll give you $500.00 if you fucking kill youself." Posted By: Dr. Reverend May 26, 2004
"Of course women like jerks.
Why the fuck do you think they like me?
I guess you've learned nothing from me over all these years." Posted By: Dr. Reverend May 29, 2004
"Sometimes a bitch just has to die." Posted By: Ford W. Maverick May 29, 2004
"It looks like we have more in common than the swastikas carved in our foreheads."Posted By: Dr. Reverend May 29, 2004
"This might be a shallow and 'Waiting-for-Godot-like' comment but...you seem to have not only brains but also beauty." Posted By: Nietzscheswife June 7, 2004
"Skippy, you are such a twisted bastard. Seriously. Why haven't we had sex yet?"Posted By: 0phelia June 25, 2004
"Just found your site. I find some of the things you say quite disgusting. And really quite enjoyable,so keep up the good work."Posted By: Big Al June 28, 2004
"I've read most of your blog. I'd say that so far it's the best I've come across, and believe me, I've seen a few. It's funny, well written (except for the spelling...) and interesting. There will always be those few idiots who just don't get it. It's useless to get worked up about it." Posted By: Johnny June 30, 2004
"Skippy... Go for the facial tattoo. I dig em', and fuck what those other bitches think. You can always bite their tits off if they back talk you." Posted By: Mary Magdalicious July 1, 2004
"Go fuck yourself up your butt." Posted By: Reek Stankleberry July 6, 2004
"Well if ass-fucking won't keep Satan away, I just don't know what will." Posted By: Dr. Reverend July 7, 2004
"dude, you're killing me. keep it up." Posted By: Son of Nixon July 22, 2004
"Are you always either naked or in a suit?" Posted By: Rehella July 22, 2004
"That person should speak for himself or herself. 'Cause you really are that much of a cunt, skippy." Posted By: Kilgore Trout August 4, 2004
"I've read you for a long time but have never commented before. That isn't a slight to your great writing ability, it's mainly because I don't want to be seen here!" Posted By: Paul August 4, 2004
" Dead on. Bulls-eye. I take back what I said about you being a cunt. For now." Posted By: Kilgore Trout August 4, 2004
"Know what, Skippy? You're alright." Posted By: Anna August 18, 2004
"Excellent work. Damn you for being so dead on." Posted By: The Maximum Leader August 24, 2004
"Skippy, fuck the puppy idea. Try getting a monkey that smokes. That will get you laid." Posted By: Mary Magdalicious August 27, 2004
"As to the beard - I like the clean shaven better - and what's wrong with a bald head? Bald heads are hot on some guys - unfortunately most can't pull it off * sigh * You look like you can pull it off though and that's a good thing - not a bad.
BTW, love your blog. I saw it in my referrers and thought it was just a random hit. Then I started reading and found you to be hilarious - it was only after about 10 posts that I noticed you linked me. I was more than flattered - linked by someone I was about to link anyway - awesome. Thanks" Posted By: Kinky August 27, 2004
"Fuckin' Goy bastard." Posted By: Dr Reverend December 19,2004
"Who does a guy have to sleep with to get one of his Skippy quotes pasted to the sidebar?
Great googly-moogly." Posted By: Smallholder December 20, 2004
"Are you a child molester or what's the story?" Posted By: Fukinator, December 28, 2004
"Sick dude." Posted By: DCayer December 29, 2004
"You officially suck." Posted By: Sorry, January 22, 2005
"I heart you, Skippy" Posted By: Karinsky, January 25, 2005
"As I've stated before, you were quite skilled in bed and I had no need to fake any of my multiple orgasms." Posted By: 0phelia, June 30, 2005
"I love Skippy. I swear I do. The only blogger more twisted than me." Posted on: Velociworld, July 26, 2005
" You are so fucking ignorant about America. And while the American people ARE stupid, so are you." Posted By: Bill Lassiter, August 2, 2005
"How can you not love a man who hates himself so viciously?" Posted on: It's All About De , August 31, 2005
"If I wasn't positive that all Canadian men had tiny penises, I'd be all over that Skippy." Posted On: It's All About De
"I've seen pictures of you and I'd say you're fuckable." Posted By: Joan, September 29, 2005
" I love your posts on Canadian politics even more than I love your posts on porn.
And I love your porn posts.
Why the hell do you waste all this talent on the internet? Write a book or something, goddammit! Posted By: Cliff S., November 17, 2005
"Let it never be said that underneath your self-cavilling, bitter (yet strangely egomaniacal) surface that you never take the time to give the people what they want. Even if it's just one people. Gawd bless you, Skippy! Posted By: Locke, November 18, 2005
"Wow! I don't know that I've ever been flattered and yet somewhat revolted at the same time... It's an interesting sensation." Posted By: Dewey in Toronto, December 1, 2005
"Very often, debating you is like playing whack a mole: You pop up some premised assertion moles, I pull out my mallet and start whacking, then you pop up more premised assertion moles - which are mostly or completely unrelated to the original moles I was whacking at. Your stock of moles seemingly stretches into infinity. And yet, an endless supply of moles does not equate to cogent argument.
Very often, debating you is like speaking to a salesman who will not answer a particular direct question, and instead flies off on the flight of rhetorical splendor known as "baffling them with bullshit." I'm impressed with your rhetorical skills, and your IQ, and your accumulation of knowledge. I'm impressed that I'm the American citizen, yet you might have a more thorough knowledge of the American Constitution than I. And yet, these impressive things are not substitutes for cogent argument."Posted By; gcotharn, December 21, 2005
"Besides, you seem to think you're the least respectable person I know. While you're often right, you're wrong on that count. Careful, I might out YOU as a nice guy. Or something." Posted By: Dewey In Toronto, December 27, 2005
"I've been to Toronto. The most dangerous thing I saw there was an 11 foot tall red head with shaved balls."Posted By: Judy, December 31, 2005
"There was this "Caught on Tape!" video I watched back in my highschool days where one of the scenes shows two people starting to cross the railroad tracks. One looks up at the last minute and sees the train, the other does not. In the commercial, it cuts away just before the train does its thing, but the video...
Your blog is like a twisted version of the video. We know the train is going liquify you in shocking gory fashion, but that's why we keep coming back. It's so much more fun that we both know the train is coming and you still gleefully walk into its path...and we love you all the more for it." Posted By:Locke, January 13, 2006
"Fuck. I'm hooked." Posted By: DeAnna, January 14, 2006
"Your Maximum Leader has found Skippy's commentary more insightful and interesting than anyone elses. So now he supposes that Skippy will go back to writing about porn and strippers he meets in the subway." Posted By: The Maximum Leader on Naked Villainy January 24, 2006
"Slightly crazed is fine, but with the beard you look like a total nutjob. If you ever hope to get laid again, for fuck's sake, Skippy, NEVER, EVER grow a saddam beard. You're welcome."Posted By: The Lady O, 28 January, 2006
"Maybe we should get married. My readers could support us by purchasing my worn panties and you could be the panty pimp." Posted By; Joan 28 January 2006
" I know it must be hard for you...being objectified by women all the time. But come on, how can they really help themselves? Have you seen yourself lately? Your pheramones preceed you into a room (as does your crotch). Don't blame it all on them...you did choose to leave your house. :D" Posted By: Joan, 3 February, 2006
"Skippy, you sarcastic twerp." Posted By: Arwen, 8 February 2006
"Just so you know.. if I had to choose between Moussaoui or Skippy.. You'd win. Even if I know what an asshole you are. Posted By; Judy, 13 February 2006
"I'd be willing to sign a legal document stating that is IS ok, in fact, to masturbate whilst thinking of me." Posted By: DeAnna (Who seems unaware of my reputation as an outlaw) February 24, 2006
"Feel free to masturbate while thinking of me...actually, do you need some of my panties to help you with that?" Posted By: Joan, February 24, 2006
"I blame myself for this. I have been too lenient with you. Your Godless behaviour must come to an end. You will receive a severe beating this weekend and I am contemplating removing your testicles." Posted By: Dr. Reverend, February 24, 2006
"Just remember skippy, the US never threw a fit when you smuggled your own personal WMD over the border twice a year. After all, it wasn't like you were hiding in your pants or anything.
All's fair in love and war, so to speak." Posted By: Judy, April 4, 2006
"Wow...nothing hotter than a man willing to issue fatwas for pussy." Posted By: Joan, April 16, 2006
"You sir, are a brilliant writer." Posted By: Judy, May 4, 2006
"I think I'm falling in love." Posted By: DeAnna, May 11, 2006
"THIS IS THE MOST DIABOLICAL FALSITY YOU HAVE EVER ENGAGED IN!!!!
I was intending to kick you in the face upon our next meeting, but now it's obvious that I must douse your scrotum in kerosene and set your testicles aflame. Alas, it is the only way you will learn." Posted By: Dr. Reverend, May 12, 2006
"And i would like to commend you on some excellent blogging. This particular story would normally warrant a few cryptically humorous lines and a link. To an ordinary blogger. But you managed to wring an essay of New Yorker-esque proportions out of it. That takes talent. Your beautiful young friend is right. I see big things for you in the future." Posted By: Annika, June 4, 2006
" I like a man who will unabashedly tell someone his penis size because hes unashamed. Thats hot.
*raises hand* I'll take that 6.5, thank ya" Posted By: Kinky, June 6, 2006
"Elvis, like skippy, is the very definition of rock and roll. Posted By: Rube, June 10, 2006
" I'm beginning to think you're the only good man left in the world, skippy. WTF?" Posted By: By: DeAnns, June 11, 2006
"Just so everyone knows.
Skippy does indeed, taste like bacon.
And, any guy who doesn't know cum tastes good to real women, is clueless." Posted By: Judy, July 2, 2006
"There was a British columnist whose work was described as 'a suicide note in weekly installments.'
This blog is sort of like that." Posted By: Gadfly, July 6, 2006
"Jeez, Skippy. Sometimes I really hate coming here." Posted By: Cynlee, July 18, 2006
"Someone needs to throttle you with a riding crop...truly!" Posted By: Joan, July 18, 2006
"Holy mother of god. I just had an orgasm. It's official: I'm devoting the rest of my life to you, skippy." Posted By: DeAnna, July 19, 2006
"Skippy, sometimes I'm not quite sure of your sanity, but you are without a doubt the baddest morning news reading, quiz show hosting, talent introducing PIMP in the motherfuckin' blogosphere." Posted By: Shank, July 19, 2006
