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Monday, September 15, 2003
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DAMN YOU, 9TH CIRCUIT COURT OF APPEALS, DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!
Those Marxist motherfuckers on the 9th circuit Court of Appeals just postponed the California Recall Election until March!
Godfuckit!
In the 20 minutes I've had to analyze the situation I've come to the following conclusions.
1. Gray Davis has shamrocks growing out of his ass: This decision effectively reschedules the recall until the March 2 presidential primary.
What does this matter, you ask? Well ask yourself this, "How competitive is the republican primary this year?" That's right, only the President is running. Not an enticing situation for republican turn-out. So Davis now has an election where only democrats are voting. Sweet set up.
2. Exit the Arnold: Schwarzenegger cannot win now. He doesn't have the cross-over appear with democrats to avoid utter humiliation. There is now almost six months for the press and Davis' opposition research people to dig up all sorts of interesting nuggets from Arnold's past. Therefore, Arnold will drop out by the end of the week. At least he still has a day job.
3. Cruz Bustamante is fucking doomed: The Lt. Governor entered a race he opposed and explicitly said that he wouldn't enter on the day it was certified. That promise didn't last a week. Bustamante entered for one reason and one reason alone, he and Davis despise one another. Now that Davis is almost certain to escape recall, Bustamante's name is officially shit in democratic party circles. Expect him to drop out in the next 48 hours.
4. The U.S Supreme Court will not go anywhere near this mess: remember that ugliness with Bush v. Gore about three years ago? Now, do you remember how popular it made the Court? Yeah, so do they. They had a pretty good idea how popular it would be, too. Accordingly, within the decision itself the Court declared that the decision was relevant only to the case at hand not as a means of establishing precedent. In other words, they said "Keep this shit away from us in the future, ok? Thanks." I doubt that they'll willingly involve themselves in another political circus anytime soon.
5. I now have no reason left to live: Let's review, shall we? Not only do I not have a job or a girlfriend, I don't even have a freakshow to entertain me anymore. Sure, there's a dopey election here in Ontario, but it's not the same. Anybody have any suggestions on how to write a funny suicide note?
Currently Reading: The Years of Lyndon Johnson: Master of the Senate -Robert A. Caro (C'mon, the fucking thing is 1,100 pages long)
Number of Times I've Masturbated Today: 5
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