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Friday, September 05, 2003
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THE FRENCH MUST BE DESTROYED SOON
So, as I went through my 900 newspapers this morning I came across this. I'm not even sure how to respond to it other than to say "what the fuck?"
For those of you who don't click links, I'll summarize the article for you. It suggests that Toronto has replaced Montreal as Canada's center of commerce because we wake up earlier. A whole 40 minutes earlier. This makes them sad. As with most saddening things, Montrealers found someplace to blame for this. In this case it's the sun. Yes, the sun apparently rises earlier in Toronto than Montreal and this is the source of Quebec's downfall.
I beg to differ.
I'll suggest that Montreal's downfall is due entirely to being populated with French people. The French are curs, everybody knows that. Oh, and the fact the that the French keep threatening to destroy the country by declaring independance probably has something to do with it, too.Moving to a place that may, at any time, become a white Uganda with a funnier accent may not be a steller business move for a company.
And by the way, Toronto isn't all sweetness and light either. I live in Toronto. I'm a giant fucking mess. Thankfully, I'm too hung over to be particularly depressed right now. I rose at 2:00 this afternoon. I slept for 9 hours, longer than I have in almost a year. But this is due to 4 liters of wine, sleeping pills and luck. But other than feeling like my brain is surrounded by cotton and my motor skills acting 20 minutes behind mental commands, I feel fine.
So take that you French motherfuckers!
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