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Saturday, October 11, 2003
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BABIES ARE WEIRD
As some of you know, I have a nephew. His name is Liam and he's ten months old. I see him from time to time but he seems to really dig me even though he hasn't got a fucking clue who I am. Whenever Liam first sees me, he has a look that says "Who is this funny looking motherfucker?" which is a look that I'm used to. I get from most of the women I find myself attracted to. Liam just warms to me quicker than broads do.
Other than being so desperately odd looking (which can be verified here, granted, an old picture but it works), my nephew seems downright fascinated by one thing about me. My chest hair. Whenever I've been to Liam's house, I've usually been wearing a dress shirt, open at the neck. Well, while holding my young nephew he noticed a tuft of almost translucent hair between my collar bones at the base of my throat. This was interesting to Liam (I should point out that Liam's father is Philippino and has approximately four chest hairs) so he wrapped his tiny fingers around them and yanked.....hard! My howls of pain seemed to amuse Liam even more.
Today, my sister brought Liam over for a visit. While my sister was getting his lunch ready I was holding the boy. I made the mistake of wearing a pullover that buttons down to the middle of my chest. I stupidly left the buttons undone. So as I was holding him, Liam decided that it would be fun to pull my shirt open and start yanking at my chest hair. In so doing, he managed to pull some hair right out of my chest, which he proceeded to .....eat .
Accordingly, I have a question for my readers with children. The ripping out and eating of the ugly uncle's chest hair can't be normal, can it?
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