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Saturday, October 25, 2003
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I'M TOO SEXY FOR ALGIERS
I've always been jealous of my female friends in chat. They get all the cool PM messages that they can post on their blogs. when someone finds out that I'm a guy they get so much less chatty.
Today was different. It was spectacular, no matter how demented I got the guy got more and more compelled by me. Here's my little chat;
djo39: hi
larry_curly_and_mao: Hello
djo39: 23.m.algeria.u
larry_curly_and_mao: 33 Male Toronto.
larry_curly_and_mao: What a coincidence! I was just reading about homosexuality
djo39: where is toronto
larry_curly_and_mao: Canada
djo39: yes are u agree with this topic
larry_curly_and_mao: Agree with homosexuality? It's pretty much there. Can you diagree with bad weather?
larry_curly_and_mao: Besides, I can marry another man here.
djo39: do u prefer men than women
larry_curly_and_mao: Or Liza Mannelli.....she's free, I hear.
larry_curly_and_mao: Well, I've never taken anything bigger than a finger in my ass so it's hard to say
larry_curly_and_mao: How about you? I hear Algiers has the swingingest S&M homo scene on Earth
djo39: homosex in algeria
larry_curly_and_mao: Yeah. It's a very conservative place. That means they really cut loose behind closed doors
djo39: do u know between men
larry_curly_and_mao: I know of it.....like a said, nothing bigger than a finger. And women have much smaller fingers than we dudes do
larry_curly_and_mao: I'm not sharing to much.....am I?
djo39: no we have a sex between men and women after marriage u mshould marry with woman not man
larry_curly_and_mao: Oh I'm not saying that I will marry a man. I doubt I could. they probably find me as repulsive as women do. No one finds my elephantitus of the scrotum sexy
djo39: you prefer men?
larry_curly_and_mao: Nahhhhh. But what do you do? I mean I've pretty much exhausted my options. Seriously, you try having sex with a woman with a ball gag in your mouth and a plastic bag over your head
larry_curly_and_mao: And they all seem repulsed by mymonsterous nutsack crashing betwee their thighs
larry_curly_and_mao: Women are so frigging sensative. I mean, I've accepted that my testicles are 14.3 times larger than my penis. Why can't they?
larry_curly_and_mao: You seem to understand me djo39. You have no idea how nice that is
djo39: what is the solution so
larry_curly_and_mao: I dunno......what are you wearing?
djo39: normal why
larry_curly_and_mao: hmmmm, what's normal in Algeria? A vest made from the tanned flesh of a Frenchman?
djo39: and then...
djo39: u are wrong
larry_curly_and_mao: I was just asking
djo39: have u married or no
djo39: (uses one of those annoying appauding Yahoo emotes)
larry_curly_and_mao: No.....like I said, my giant scrotum always gets in the way. I meet a woman who thinks she loves me until we get to the bedroom...and then she sees my monsterous scrotum and flees screaming
larry_curly_and_mao: You're applauding my giant scrotum?
djo39: do u visit a doctor
larry_curly_and_mao: Sure, but they touch it and I .....react badly. I have a very sensative scrotum. Plus, it doesn't get touched often.
larry_curly_and_mao: So, whenever I see a doctor and he/she touches my scrotum, I ejaculate over their lab coat
larry_curly_and_mao: And now I can only have sex with prostitutes if I pay them extra to wear a lab coat
djo39: what is your end so
larry_curly_and_mao: My end?
djo39: how do u plan for the futur life
larry_curly_and_mao: Well, I'm hoping to join the circus. Or be a giant balled cowboy. You?
djo39: i am a translator i wan to be a doctor in the same field
larry_curly_and_mao: A translating doctor?
larry_curly_and_mao: Do you mean that you want to correct people's English? There's a name for that here.....it's "Zombie"
djo39: english.frensh arabic
larry_curly_and_mao: So you can correct people in English, french and arabic? Not bad....but Zombie can correct people in English, French, German, Itallian, Japanese and I think Swahilli
djo39: cool where is he from
larry_curly_and_mao: She. Zombie is the Crown Princess of Michigan
djo39: is she here in chat
larry_curly_and_mao: Zombie OWNS chat!
larry_curly_and_mao: Be careful though, Zombie is UberBitch
larry_curly_and_mao: She has the power to destroy us all
djo39: no she can't
djo39: i am stronger
larry_curly_and_mao: Oh, she can.....seriously, first she'll distract you with her boobs, then emasculate you with her 174 IQ
larry_curly_and_mao: I'm only 138. I'm stupid with disfigured testicles. Will anyone ever love me, djo?
djo39: i don't understand
djo39: why not
larry_curly_and_mao: Ok, Zombie has very beautiful boobs. She knows this. She'll have you mesmerized with them while conspiring to kill you in ways that only Bond villians can devise. She's that smart
larry_curly_and_mao: And if you happen to be gay....then she'll destroy your mind with her Zen Wonderstuff
djo39: i don't fear from any one
larry_curly_and_mao: Oh, you should fear from Zombie. She's destroyed better men than you. She laughs at the French.
larry_curly_and_mao: Hey isn't it 9 oclock Saturday night there?
djo39: no 8
larry_curly_and_mao: Ahhhhhhh. So, got any plans for a rockin'Saturday night?
larry_curly_and_mao: Or are you just renting some porn and jerking off into a sock.? Does Algeria have a wide selection of porn?
djo39: what do u want to know exactly
larry_curly_and_mao: What kind of porn can you get in Algeria?
djo39: it is forbidden here
larry_curly_and_mao: Can you get Bukkake films at the corner store?
larry_curly_and_mao: Even Bukkake? Jesus, that doesn't sound right.
djo39: what is bukkake
larry_curly_and_mao: Bukkake is a Japanese form of pornography where is a woman is either buried up her neck in sand or tied to a chair and large group of men ejaculate in her face. The Japanese are a Desperately Wrong people. Stay away from them at all costs.
djo39: we have not here.can u send me anything about it
larry_curly_and_mao: Unfortunately no. I have no Bukkake. Although I think I'd be perfect for a film, given my giant scrotum and all.
At this point Messenger logged me out and I couldn't find djo39 again. Too bad, I hadn't even started to ask him what Gay Pride Day in Algeria was like...
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