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Thursday, October 02, 2003
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LIVE FAST, DIE YOUNG AND LEAVE A BIG TITTED CORPSE
Science can be a real pain the ass sometimes. Once upon a time you could get the death penalty for suggesting that the Earth was round. I refer to those times as "the good old days." Now science is going too far!
How dare those bastards suggest that breast implants lead to suicide? Even if it is true. This isn't right!
There are a couple of points that the study didn't address. Firstly, are these successful suicides or attempts. Women, as a rule, suck at suicide. They attempt suicide three times as often as men but on succeed a quarter as often. The reason for this is vanity (the same reason they get implants in the first place.) Men are serious about suicide and use methods like guns and hanging. Y'know, the methods that work. Women tend toward suffocation and drug overdose. They may as well try to kark themselves with salad dressing. If more women were serious about dying, they'd get implants and marry O.J (a method with a 100% success rate.)
Jesus, everyone is trying to ruin my fun. I should assemble an army of strippers and march on a university or something. Smart people are getting out of line.
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