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Friday, October 03, 2003
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WITH FRIENDS LIKE THESE...
Unlike most people, I was far more fascinated with Rush Limbaugh's herculean drug intake than with the scandal that erupted scant seconds before and caused his resignation from ESPN. On Sunday afternoon, Limbaugh in his capacity as a football commentator (?), made a comment that Donovan McNabb of the Phillidelphia Eagles was being congratulated for allegedly mediocre performance by a left wing media cabal who was intent on seeing a black man succeed in football.
I reserved comment on this scandal for a couple of reasons. Firstly, my only exposure to the NFL has been through Court TV. As a matter of fact, in my last relationship, it was my girlfriend who insisted on watching football. She is in love with the brutally criminal yet athletically inept Oakland Raiders. So, I really didn't know if McNabb sucks or not. I was set straight last night by Mr. Bloody Diapers (albeit, only as an aside as to why Ontario should be governed by a coalition of the Marxist-Leninist and Green parties because the the socialist NDP are "fascist". Apparently, Mr. McNabb is a superior Quarterback. I also figured that this is what Rush Limbaugh does. During his (now defunct) television show he parodied the Los Angeles riots by showing nature footage of gorillas chasing one another. I figured that if the mainstream media was offended by this then the media was stupid.... Or it was a really slow news day.
But I'm commenting on it now. As I was reading the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, I found that Rush had received the endorsement of former Atlanta Braves relief pitcher John Rocker. Now this is comedy gold! For those of you with failing memories, John Rocker admittedly said the following to Sports Illustrated in 1999:
"Imagine having to take the 7 train to [Shea Stadium] looking like you're [in] Beirut next to some kid with purple hair, next to some queer with AIDS, right next to some dude who got out of jail for the fourth time, right next to some 20-year-old mom with four kids..."
And,
"The biggest thing I don't like about New York are the foreigners...You can walk an entire block in Times Square and not hear anybody speaking English. Asians and Koreans and Vietnamese and Indians and Russians and Spanish people and everything up there. How the hell did they get in this country?"
This may have been on some comfort to Limbaugh's OxyContin clouded mind but is this something that his P.R people really want to hear? Is this the best voice the can get to rise to their boys defense? Well, at least they can wait until the drug rap progresses to get the endorsements of Robert Downey Jr., Keith Richards, and the old line-up of Guns N' Roses.
Maybe both Rush and Rocker can learn a lot from this website.
Currently Reading: "The Years of Lyndon Johnson: Master of the Senate" - Robert A. Caro
Number of Times I've Masturbated Today: 2 (I've been taking some painkillers of my own. Note to Self: take these more frequently.)
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