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Monday, November 17, 2003
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DADDY LOVES HIS PORNBOTS
All right, I continue to have nothing to write about. I'm starting to get worried. Actually, there is stuff I could write about but won't right now. I could write about my nephew's first birthday party, but I'm waiting for my sister to send me the pictures of it.
I could also write about my sister's stalker, but since he hasn't been sentanced yet, the publication ban is still in effect. Note: Canada has no First Ammendment and judges routinely put publication bans in effect for pending criminal cases. Ordinarily, I wouldn't give a fuck and write about it anyway, but a contempt of court conviction could prohibit me from entering the United States and I may have reason to go there someday.
There's other stuff I could write about, but most of you already know what a pathetic skunk I am and don't need the specifics.
So, I'll write about my love of porn bots. Porn bots are computer programs that will contact you through a messaging service (Yahoo, MSN, AOL, that kinda crap) and try to get you to visit a website where you can watch really slutty girls do nasty stuff to themselves on cam at great expense to you. I've never actually been to one of these websites. I prefer getting non-slutty girls to do nasty stuff to themselves on cam for free. I'm funny that way.
But the bots are perfect, perhaps even preferable to real women. You can say anything to a porn bot and it won't get offended. It's fantastic. Here's an example.
carina_21_133kp (1:05:58 AM): wanna see me for free? 3or . com
skippystalin (1:06:25 AM): I wanted to be charged. That gets me HOT!
Or.....
suddenly_single_skippy (4:01:42 PM): I'm here. sorry
freekinboredandhornie (4:01:44 PM): hold on a minute. be right back
freekinboredandhornie (4:07:16 PM): ok im back. sorry bout that. stiill there?
suddenly_single_skippy (4:07:35 PM): Yup, how are you this afternoon?
freekinboredandhornie (4:07:46 PM): oh your there hi...
suddenly_single_skippy (4:07:51 PM): Hello
freekinboredandhornie (4:08:02 PM): a/s/l (age sex locaation)?
suddenly_single_skippy (4:08:13 PM): 33 Male Toronto
freekinboredandhornie (4:08:32 PM): im 27/f/USA. was lookin at your profilee. thought you might like to chat.
suddenly_single_skippy (4:08:44 PM): Sure, how are you?
freekinboredandhornie (4:08:56 PM): so what have you been up to suddenly_ssingle_skippy?
suddenly_single_skippy (4:09:11 PM): Chronic masturbating mostly, yourself?
freekinboredandhornie (4:09:14 PM): cool. i was just hangin out watching tv. i was getting kinda horny (*blushes)
suddenly_single_skippy (4:09:43 PM): Was it a nature show? Orangutangs get me so friggin'hot
freekinboredandhornie (4:09:26 PM): feel like a little cyber fun with me ? please please...
suddenly_single_skippy (4:10:00 PM): Sure.......I hear rape fantasies are in fashion this year
freekinboredandhornie (4:10:05 PM): was just brrowsing the yahoo profile thing. looked like you might be an interesting person to chat with.
freekinboredandhornie (4:10:23 PM): alright : how bout i get down on my knees in front of you and help you out of your pants?
suddenly_single_skippy (4:10:26 PM): Oh, I am. Nothin' says lovin' like a defroked Priest
freekinboredandhornie (4:10:46 PM): tell me what you want me to do with you whiile i slip out of my panties
suddenly_single_skippy (4:10:54 PM): Absolutely.....do you promise to call me Mommy as you blow me
suddenly_single_skippy (4:11:13 PM): Silly me....of course you can't! You're mouth will be full
freekinboredandhornie (4:11:16 PM): maybe after we get to knnow eachother better.. lets start with email and chat k?
suddenly_single_skippy (4:11:30 PM): Sure.....ever kill a man?
freekinboredandhornie (4:11:36 PM): oh yeah babe.. dont stop. while i slide my hand down between my oegs and part my moist lips
suddenly_single_skippy (4:12:05 PM): Yeah, that's right......you love hearing about how I killed that trucker in Denver, dont you?
freekinboredandhornie (4:12:09 PM): oh it feels so good. Im holding your pulsing cock in my hand, my shiny red fingernails dig gently into your balls, while my ffull, soft lips engulf the mass of your meat
freekinboredandhornie (4:12:27 PM): open my website so you can look at me while im sucking you. use the link in my proffile!
suddenly_single_skippy (4:12:33 PM): That's right.....suck it while I tell you how I butchered him like a hog
suddenly_single_skippy (4:13:07 PM): Website scmebsite! Keep sucking!
suddenly_single_skippy (4:13:31 PM): I won't get electrocuted if I come in your mouth, right?
This is the pic on "freekinboredandhornie's" profile
The saddest part is, other than some groovy phone encounters, that's the best fucking sex I've had in over a year.
On the other hand, I can propose to a porn bot (for some stupid reason, I think I want to get married) and expect the silence I get when I ask real, breathing women. But that brings me back to Jessica Lynch....and I need time to heal from that nastiness.
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