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Saturday, November 08, 2003
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THE PRINCE OF WAILS
Perhaps some of you have noticed that I take particular pleasure in the humilation of those more fortunate than I (that is to say, everyone.) Maybe it's a charcter flaw...I'll leave that to you to decide. Personally, I think it's part of my charm.
I've been following this story for the last few days and it has sent my humilation radar into overdrive. I have yet to hear of a scandal being denied before the details have been released. You know that something truly ugly is afoot when someone comes out and says "There's this nasty rumour circulating and it's not true! In fact, it's so not true that my barristers are attempting to prevent you ever reading about it as we speak. Go about your business." You can smell death in the air when you hear that.
Of course, the-non-detailed-denial stoked my curiosity and I knew that I would have to learn the full story. And Matt Drudge, as he always is, was there for me.
"**Exclusive**
Top editors at the NEW YORK TIMES panicked and ordered a story killed after London-based reporter Sarah Lyall filed a dispatch alleging rumors of Prince Charles and a sexual affair with one of his closest advisers!
The story appeared on the TIMES's internet website for 20 minutes -- before top editors ordered it immediately removed, the DRUDGE REPORT has learned.
"This should never have been published!" a top newsroom source explained Friday evening.
Lyall reported: "No one would say what the rumor was. Not the British newspapers, which were writing long, innuendo-laced articles about it. Not the television commentators, who were discussing it with acrobatic opacity. Especially not Prince Charles, who seemed to be hoping it would just go away...
"The allegation (although no one has said so publicly) has to do with purported sexual contact between Prince Charles, the heir to the throne, and Michael Fawcett, one of his closest advisers."
I pray to God that this story is true! I'll be heartbroken if the Times is just making this up (as they've tended to do lately.) This story could be the Perfect Storm that topples that wretched monarchy forever! How do you think a pack of steelworkers in Birmingham would respond to having a Homo King?
My American readers are probably wondering why I give a shit. Good question. Here's the answer. Since Canada is still technically answerable to the Crown, this jug eared motherfucker will someday be my king, too! It's embarrassing. Not the idea of a Homo King on the Throne, I think that would be hilarious! The idea of any King at all. A big reason I ruled out running for office in Canada (and I could win here, too. You should see some of the demented misfits we elect) is that I would be legally obligated to swear an Oath of Alliegence to the Crown. And I don't think I could do that without laughing. The seperatist Bloc Quebecois was elected Her Majesties Loyal Opposition in 1993 and they had to take the oath. It was funny to watch on TV.
Am I suprised that the Prince of Wales may be into gay sex? Not especially. We all know about his stated desire to be a manly woman's tampon. Plus, there is a mellinium of inbreeding to consider here as well.
But this story does raise some interesting questions. Questions like, "Is the Heir to the Throne a top or a bottom?" and "What the fuck does he need an adviser for, anyway?" I'm not actually sure what does
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