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Sunday, November 30, 2003
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YOU KNOW YOU HAVE A GREAT LIFE WHEN....
You know you have the perfect life when you wake up every morning secure in the knowledge that you're Jack Nicholson. If you don't wake up as Nicholson, your life pretty much sucks. You might not think so, but you're just too dumb to know it.
Let's look at the facts, Jack Nicholson is considered among the greatest actors of his generation for playing....Jack Nicholson. He's a man of enormous wealth and I think it's a residencey requirement for women in the state of California that they have sex with him. I think it's tied into getting the vote, I'm not sure. And Jack is even uglier than I am! It's SHOCKING!
Another way to tell how much cooler someone's life is than yours is what they deny. I read an interview with Nicholson today where he denied having sex with Amanda Peet! Let's overlook for the moment that I'd give my left nut to bang Amanda Peet. It's that Jack denies it like it's nothing! I can imagine him even decrying the rumour in that Jack voice, "Ugggg, I've had better!" Then Jack attacks the reporter with a golf club.
At this point, I don't think i'd deny sex with Kathy Bates. After all, it's been seventeen fucking months. I'm guessing here, but I'll bet the last time Nicholson went seventeen months without getting laid, he was seventeen months old. The BASTARD!
I'm sure I had a point before my bitter tirade started.....Oh, yeah, I did. Here's my point. Until you feel the need to deny having sex with supermodel-hot actresses and you're a single guy with a fuckload of money, you're life sucks! You just didn't know it.
Now you do.
Feel better?
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