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Wednesday, November 12, 2003


"YOU NEVER HEAR ABOUT THE KIDS WE DIDN'T MOLEST...."

The U.S Conference of Catholic Bishops is interested in enlisting the services of a public relations company so that they may better combat the perception that they are anti-semitic, pedophiles bent on preserving their own community standing and financial self-interest. These perceptions are commonly referred to as "historical truth." It's a "tomato/tamoto" thing.

After centuries of murdering Jews and Muslims, conspiring to molest children and being complicit in the spread of the AIDS virus in places least equipped to deal with it, the church feels that it has an "image problem." It's about time that the Church stopped wasting all that money on stupid stuff, like paying off the victims of their pervert brethren, it's time to run some ads so that the Church can get back to what it does best...Interfering in politics.

Yeah, in case you teenagers forgot, there's an election next year. An election that will almost certainly involve issues like same-sex marriage and AIDS prevention in Africa. These are issues that the Church is particularly pushy about. Granted, the Church isn't so gung-ho about political involvement that they'd do anything crazy...like pay taxes. They'd much rather threaten you with Hell if you don't vote their way.

But we can all agree about the benevolence of the Church, right? It's not like they would do anything like.....I don't know.....blame the parents of a molestation victim for the actions of a priest. Oh right, they did do that. Okay, I'll try something else. They wouldn't say....demand that Catholic holders of public office implement Church doctrine in matters of public policy, right? Oh yeah, Rome demanded that about 6 weeks ago.

Come to think of it, I can't think of a reason for the Church to be allowed to exist. If they're going to fuck with the State, I think it's high time for the State to fuck back.

I wonder if that little rant will get me excommunicated.

7:29 PM