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Saturday, December 20, 2003
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BALLAD OF A BOVINE RAPIST
Okay, I suppose that it's no secret to any of my readers that I'm a horny guy. A really, really horny guy. I was cursed with a sex drive that would be considered excessive in three men. It's also no secret that I live in Toronto, Canada. But I want to state for the record that I'm not this guy. I wouldn't want my readers wandering through the day thinking that they've been chuckling at the blog of that guy. Finally, there's a guy in Toronto hornier than I am.
Quite frankly, I never thought I would see the day, but there's a new heavyweight champion.
While I'm often taken with a partner who likes to be taken on all fours, I do prefer that she be able to stand upright...if only occassionally. I should also note that I can be clingy after intercourse and I simply cannot concieve of cuddling with a Jersey cow. That would be weird, even for me.
For such a short story, there's so much to love about it. Therein lies the beauty of the Toronto Sun. They always provide more bang for buck. And always using the smallest words possible, too. I like the fact that the guy refused to dismount the cow upon discovery. Actually, I'm on this guy's team on this point. If you're about to be arrested for raping a cow, you should at least be allowed to come first. The accused, David Kottaris, 28, of no fixed address, also insisted that he was merely assisting the bovine give birth....which in a roundabout way, I suppose he was.
I guess the point of my writing this is to state for the record that no matter how horny I get, I've never considered cruising a barn. I guess I'm not much of an outdoorsman.
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