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Thursday, December 04, 2003
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JUST WHEN THE ECONOMY WAS GETTING GOOD, TOO....
Maybe I'm an old fashioned guy, I'll grant you that, but I remember a time when you could go to a place of business and demand decent customer service! That has declined in a big way and I think McDonald's is largely to blame. Back in the 50's you could go to a burger stand and if the food wasn't to your satisfaction, all you had to do was say so. They'd apologize profusely, correct your mistake and and made you believe that the sun rose and set on your ass alone. Those were the days..I'm told.
While I'm very old, I'm not old enough to remember those "Happy Days." All I remember is the screaming and holloring, the almost Vietnam-like struggle to get what you want! So, I guess that I'm not suprised that when a customer in Houston couldn't get just a little mayo on her cheeseburger (as disgusting as it sounds), she flipped the fuck out and ran over the manager in her car.
I'm sure you find this reaction as irraional as I would've. But I have some experience with McDonald's shift managers.
I had just started working in the security industry. For those of you who haven't read the papers, the security industry is the final rung of Hell for societies lowest deviants. If you check, you'll find that most serial killers were security guards at one time or another. Although, to be fair, it is a good entry level job for people who just entered the country and speak NO English (after all, it's not like anything bad-like a fire or an armed robbery-would happen and important information would need to be conveyed quickly to someone, like...I dunno...a cop or firefighter.)
So, I was 24 years old and working in an industry of perverts and dangerously unilingual foreigners. I was a good man (by this deviant industry's standards) working in a dangerously corrupt and ignorant business. There had to be SOME benefits, right?
Wrong.
Her name was Victoria. She started out as the clean up girl at the McDonald's in the mall where I started out in that depraved profession. Victorial was a Philipino, about three feet tall and the most shockingly beautiful thing I had ever seen until that time. And she dressed real, real slutty. I needn't tell you it was love at first sight. And every time she saw me she SMILED! It was fantastic! I wasn't anywhere used to beautiful women smiling at me unless they were laughing at me. Cruelly, cruelly laughing at me. Oh, did I remind you that I was every inch as ugly at 24 as I am at 33? Avtually, that's a lie. I'm nine years older and therefore nine years uglier. Having HER smile at ME was as good as it gets. Well, not as good as it gets. I figured that would come later. And I'm nothing if not patient.
Victoria worked hard and long and within a year or so, she was a shift manager. Most people don't know this, but shift managers at McDonald's make okay money...certainly more than security guards in malls. And Victoria was STILL nice to me. Accordingly, I was her slave. I'd do anything for that woman and I'm not even sure that she ever knew my name. I can't tell you how many "emergency"situatons I resolved for Victoria; fires, armed robberies, floods...trivial shit like that. But she always smiled at me. Oh, and let's not forget that before and after work she dressed really, really slutty. For some reason, I remember that as an important detail.
Anyway, it turned out that Victoria had a boyfiend. That didn't bother me really. I was expecting disappointment (albeit on her part...with me) and who wouldn't think a woman that fucking beautiful wouldn't have a boyfriend.
It was when I saw him that I was outraged.
This guy was MAYBE 5'5", at a stretch. Now maybe I'm shallow, but I honestly feel that if you're a male born after say, 1965 and you're under 5'11", you're genetically inferior to me. Maybe it's the Darwinist in me, I'm not sure. But the most galling part was that the little bastard was even uglier than I am. Which I thought was hardly possible! It was as if you saw the woman of your dreams with....Jack Nicholson. But you wouldn't know that because we would be referring to Jack without the talent, money, fame or charm. Just a short, dumpy guy.
I hated McDonald's shift managers ever since that day.
Of course I'm not bitter.....that was a long time ago.
Jesus, the post is longer, more detailed and way more off topic than I ntended it to be.
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