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Saturday, December 06, 2003
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NOT GUILTY BY REASON OF COCKSUCKING
There are stories in the news that I just immediately fall in love with. Usually, these stories are poilitical but the criminal justice system is replete with them as well. There are trials where you watch them and can't help but think "What the fuck? I mean, what the fucking fuck"?" The O.J murder trial was such a case. Actually, O.J's entire life since June of 1994 is such a case. Since the O.J trial lawyers everywhere have been scrambling to front "The Most Fucked-Up Trial Ever."
They really shouldn't bother. The Michael Jackson case promises to be the Heavyweight Champion of brain damage, avarice and general sociopathy in the justice system. Assumming that it ever goes to trial, which I'm starting to think that it won't.
But you have to love the story of Lee Glazer. It's a heartwarming tale. Glazer, a Pennsylvania karate instructor, was accused of molesting two of his teenage students. Glazer's defense; He's a homo and the victims are girls. And it worked! The jury bought it. "Sure, I'm not above blowing a boy here and there but girls are icky!" And the jury comes back with, "Indeed, you may go."
Well, if he is telling the truth (and if he's not, good luck ever getting a molestation conviction anywhere ever again) he probably won't have to worry about breast cancer.
Christ, I'm adorable.
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