|
|
Sunday, January 11, 2004
|
|
MORE FUN WITH GROUPHUG.US
"Last night I went to a whore and got a handjob. I couldn't get a hard on but I still came in her hand. I was really nervous but I don't know why I did it.
I only paid her £5. "
That tells me you went to an amatuer whore. Five pounds is only about 12 bucks Canadian. You'd be lucky to get a crack whore for 12 bucks and crack whores as not noted for their customer service skills. And given the price you paid, you got something worse than a crack whore. You should stop whining and be thankful you came at all.
"I have a fetish about shooting a living person, and having sex with the wound. "
And that's wrong? Oh by the way, a fetish is generally accepted to be a kinky activity that you engage in while what you describe is more probably a fantasy. In closing, you're not only creepy, you're stupid.
"my boyfriend and i didn't want to risk getting me pregnant so we had anal sex. i didn't like it so we decided not to do it again, but now when he's not here i masterbate by playing with myself while i touch my anus. i'm afraid to tell him because i still don't want to have sex that way again."
Well, you're a selfish bitch and you'll have no one to blame but yourself when you get knocked up.
"I hate Canada!"
Me too, but I fail to see how this is a problem.
"When I was younger I used to sneak into my sisters room and steal her barbie dolls.
I would lay them in a row and masturbate over them, then return them without cleaning them off.
I'm a boy!"
I should hope so! A girl masturbating with Barbie dolls would be weird!
"My confession is that sometimes I Jack-off with my left hand instead of my right.. 3 Days ago something happened.. While jacking-off with my left hand i fell off my bed and broke my left arm.. When my mother came in to ask what happened my pants were off and she saw a playgirl magazine on my floor. She flipped out.. My dad doesn't like me anymore because im gay.. Life sucks. "
There's nothing worse than a masturbation injury. In the future, you should try to hide your sexual proclivities by stealing your sister's Barbie dolls......
"When I was 6 I saw my aunt molest our turtle. Ever since that day I've had fantasies about it. Sometimes I wish I was that turtle. "
How do you molest a turtle? Does your aunt find the challenge of the shell a turn-on? And so far as your fantasies go, I would only worry if you're a hare in them. That would be creepy.
"i hate my job, well not the job but the people i work with are all complete cock suckers, i seem to get ignored when decisons are going to be made and all my work gets credited to some other stupid posh dickhead who if i were anywhere else beat the bollocks off him. I daily fantasize about violent rampages throughout work painfully killing all that i hate. be warned we all have a breaking point and some of us break more violently than others."
Hey now! Violence is almost never the answer. Here's what you do, log on to your office computer and start a blog, detailing all of your fantasies. That should take care of all your work related issues. Oh, it helps a lot if there's a really hot, Braziallan cleaner in your building.....not that I'd know first hand or anything.
"I was jerking off a couple days ago and an image of my grandmother came into my head. I knew it was wrong, but I could not stop thinking about her. Thinking about my grandmother made me masturbate much more vigorously than before, and I finally ejaculated to the thought of me and her in the shower. I cant stop thinking about it. Every time I start to think about it, I get even more excited. I cant masturbate without the thought of her creeping into my head. I know it's wrong, but when I try to push the thought of her being naked out of my head, it gets worse. God, I need help.
The worst part about all of this is that she died 2 years ago."
Was she really that hot?
"I'm a 37 yr old married woman, but my husband never makes me come. last week and had sex with my dog and it was better than any guy.
i don't regret it. "
Ummmmm, woof?
"I am a skinny white guy, but I have a secret fantasy of being taken roughly from behind by a big swarthy arab guy. I also think that Osama Bin Laden is fucking hot. I'd do him if I had the chance."
And I thought I was kinky.
"I have this craving to be tied up, have my hair pulled, be bitten all while my boyfriend has me bent over...I've told him the basics of my fantasy and so far I haven't scared him away!"
I love it when that happens.
God, I am so fucking adorable.
|
|
|
| |
