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Saturday, February 21, 2004
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THE INVASION OF CANADA
Canada isn't a nation that has much of a need for foreign enemies. After all, we have Quebec. We didn't think that saddam Hussein was that bad, and you wouldn't either if you had to contend with Lucien Bouchard.
As a consequence, Canada has only been invaded twice in it's history. The first time was during the War of 1812, when American forces advanced as far as Fort York, in what is now Toronto. A nurse named Laura Secord was an invaluable intelligence asset and with her help, we kicked the Americans right out, the first time that the United States had been evicted from foreign soil and the last until Vietnam in 1975. Most of what was Fort York is now a federally subsidized amusement park and we name a chain of ice cream shops after Laura Secord.
The second invasion of Canada was last Wednesday night. The aggressors? The Niagra Falls, New York Police Department.
Guys, we're kinda touchy about that sort of thing. You know how you get a pissy when our Algerian terrorists cross the border to try to blow up LAX? We feel the same way about your police chases killing our citizens.
Of course, we're too polite to protest too much about it.
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