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Saturday, March 06, 2004
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MY PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE IS THIS BIG!
What the fuck is up with the cocks of presiential candidates? Jesus H. Fucking God! First it was Gore on the cover of Rolling Stone in 2000 with his engorged Al Gore dick flopping around in his khakis. Then Bush got on the flight deck of the U.S.S Lincoln with the harness of flight suit arranged "just so" so as to prominently feature his "Chief of Staff", Now there's this......
E-fucking-Gads! You'd never see, say Dwight Eisenhower presenting himself in public like that. I think I've narrowed it down to one of three things. Either presidential candiates really are shameless braggarts, they want to avoid the "boxers or briefs" question, or they want to be upfront with all the potential interns out there.
The most depressing part of this is that it now presents a fourth reason that I can never be elected president. Firstly, I'm not a born American citizen. Secondly, I have not been a resident of the United States for fourteen years. Thirdly I am under 35 years old. Fourthly and finally, I'm hung like a two year old........girl! Nothing I love ever works out. It's really depressing.
And I know what you're thinking, and I'll address it up front. No, I am NOT obsessed with cock! Well, I am with mine, but that's it. Honest. Really. Scouts honor.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have a gay marriage rally to attend and I can't find my assless pants.
(Editor's Note: While I've seen this picture everywhere this week, it was ruthlessly stolen from Primal Purge.)
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