Sunday, March 28, 2004 SO I'VE BEEN THINKING Maybe I'll be a sexier man if I grow out my hair and get me one of those rockin' combovers like Richard Perle has. Any other suggestions will be welcomed. I just did the math, it's been 602 days since I last got laid. Something HAS to be done to address this sad state of affairs soon. I'm thinking of setting up an "Involuntary Celibacy Watch" counter like Kilgore Trout used to have, but I'm not sure if he would resent my ruthlessly stealing his brilliant idea. Besides, I'm too stupid to something like that on my own. Kilgore, if you don't mind my ripping you off, please send me an e-mail explaining -in language a retarded five-year old can understand - how you set up your counter. 12:50 PM

skippy's Greatest Hits EMAIL skippy! skippystalin@gmail.com Retard Cage Match of the Doomed: The Sad Saga of the 2005/06 Canadian Federal Election - November 26, 2005 - January 24, 2006 Tyson TV: All Mike, All the Time The Ballad of Captain Geography The Madness of Mayor Mel I Told Her I Love Her and She Said "Que?" The skippystalin Lecture Series, Part One: Lessons of a Shithead Cyrano The skippystalin Lecture Series, Part Two: The Cunnilingus Chronichles Uday, We Hardly Knew Ye California Tumbles Into the Sea Terminating Government Arnold Uber Alles Waiting for Gaiman In the Realm of the Gaiman Fan "They're Selling Postcards Of The Hanging / They're Painting The Passports Brown" - Notes From The Ritual Suicide Of The Progressive Conservative Movement In Ontario My Dinner With Dr. Reverend skippy's Protection For Pornography Week Proclomation skippy For President Some Girls Give Me Knighthoods I Never Asked Them For Richard Nixon Died For Your (Explative Deleted) Sins Mr. & Mrs. Bloody Diapers, Bob Dylan & The Unbearable Gayness Of skippy Give Me A Leonard Cohen Afterworld : Thoughts On Kurt Cobain, Ten Years Gone George W. Bush And Me The Passion Of Carl Bernstein Adventures In Loss Prevention: Mind Your Own Mongloid "Welcome To Canada. Now Show Us Your Tits!" These Things I Believe: Gay Marriage And The Future Of American Law Retail Politics, Wholesale Horseshit George W. Bush: Last Of The Big Government Liberals Getting Serious About Islamist Terrorism Death Smells Sweetest In The Fall: A Timely Obituary For The Candidacy Of John Forbes Kerry, Esquire The Dumbest Songs Ever: "Do They Know It's Christmas" A Love Letter to Michelle, Driver of the 9:10PM Rocket Bus From Scarborough Town Center to Don Mills Station How To Get Ahead In Terrorism Without Even Trying Breaking With History: Bush's Second Inaugaral Address Some Kind Of Monster "The Doctor Will See You Now:" Kevin White Has The Greatest Bedside Manner Ever! The House That Hunter Built A Quiet, Peaceful Life: A Portrait in 24 Hours In Praise of Paris Hilton Just You and Me, Punk Rock Girl Who's Afraid Of W. Axl Rose? The Girls of Porn: Part One: Nikita Denise , Getting Fucked By Porn Stars: Not Always As Much Fun As You'd Think , Part Two: Silvia Saint , Jenna Jameson Is Braver Than You Are , Part Three: Inari Vachs , Obituary Edition:Anna Malle , Special Report: Mimi Miyagi and the Parliament of Whores Mass Transit Performance Art The Adventures of Zanta Terri Schiavo And Political Hypocracy Come To Me, My Karly-Curls skippy and Scalia: The Tale of a Great Friendship How The Republican Party Found God And Lost Its Soul Running On The Grave Of Terri Schiavo: Not Just For Republicans Anymore Deep Throat, Watergate and the Legacy Of Richard Nixon In Canada, You've Never Really "Done Your Time" The Revenge of LBJ Updated November 27, 2005 On L. Cohen, Swindled and Bankrupt: A Cautionary Tale Dinner is Served: Thoughts on Jessica Alba Your Own Personal Jesus Using Pakistani Domestic Policy To Flirt In The Court Of The Maximum Leader Sex Offender Registries And Stupidity Most People Are Wrong: Why Angelina Jolie Is A Much Better Wife Than Jennifer Anniston Death Of A Ladies Man: Martinis, Tranquilizers & Wife Beating - The Decline & Fall of Rene Levesque New Jersey, Home of the Sexy On the Smell of Victory...Among Oter Things Free At Last, Free At Last, Good God Almighty, I Am Free At Last Okay, But Hardly Lawsuit Worthy: The Litigious Tits Of Jennifer Anniston Justice For Karly-Curls Fuck the Children, Fuck those Needle-Dicked, Non-Smoking Cocksuckers, And if You Disagree With Me, Fuck You, Too! The Greatest Story Ever Told ,and Part Two Speaking Words of Wisdom: Jessica Alba's Ass Jessica Simpson Discusses Her Tits, Nick Lachey Unable to Stop Weeping A Nuclear Iran: Let's Start Thinking Like Rational Adults, Shall We? No Means No, You Bitch! Confessions of a Tobacco Fiend Behold the Magic Wand! Fear the Magic Wand! Me Learn Good, Part 1 Part Two Part Three Get Your Wings Hymen Love With You Scott Stapp Must Die Wherein the Birthday Boy is Challenged Won't You Take Me To Catholic Town Fuck Texas Love Letters From Rummy Whereupon Terrorist Threats Are Made Upon Poetry Magazine Evangeline Lilly Is A Delusional Pain In The Ass And Should Be Beheaded Soon The Greatest Conspiracy Story Ever Told She Come 'Round Here, Just About Midnight Sean Connery Smacks His Bitch Up "You Should See My Home. It's.....So Nice Lifestyle Columnists Aren't Very Smart Susan Sarandon Is a Liberal Loudmouth, Also Has Spectacular Knockers skippystalin: International Criminal Extradionaire , The Further Adventures of Fast Johnny Fuckhead , I'll Make You Famous: The New Adventures of Crazy Johnny Arkle Thoughts on I'm Not a Feminist, But... Notes on the Great Retard Smoking Debate Valerie Gibson And I Finally Agree: Children Are Evil And Have More Fun Than Either Of Us "I Don't Know But I've Been Told / Recruiting's Gotten Awfully Bold" He's Just Not That Into You Why Elvis is Still the King Gullible's Travels Who's the Better Boyfriend? Part One: Zacarias Moussaoui , Part Two: Roy Cohn Good To See That Worked Out: Thoughts On Middle East Democracy The Neverending Story Of Pamela Anderson & Tommy Lee The World Isn't Fair: On Hot, Blonde Supermodels and the Trolls Who Eat Them Out in Public , Victoria Silvstedt, The Lord, and the Mysterious Ways Thereof Requiem for a Heavyweight: On the Late, Great Rob Smith From the Department of Sexy Secrets Revealed: Regis Philbin Edition Is Bill Clinton a Fairy or Just an Asshole? Building A Better Broad Oh, Grow the Fuck Up, You Fucking Babies Big Ones, Little Ones ... Everyone Loves Boobies Titanic Titties Top Terror From The Department of Behaviour Modification Dildos Can Be Dangerous "And I Know No One Can Sing The Blues Like Blind Willie McTell" When Keeping It Real Goes Wrong G.G. Allin And The Meaning Of Life Is Karl Rove Finished? Leave My Porno Slut Alone , Destroying The Villiage To Save It Lindsay Lohan And The Importance Of Role Models Let's Get Kinky! Dear Mr. President, Go Fuck Yourself He's Not That Innocent: The Devil & Mikhail Sergeyevich Full Of Cum, Full Of Dumb: The Ballad of Belinda Stronach Let's Hear It For The Boy: Mark Foley & The Meaning Of Love Bill Donohue And The Interesting Logic Of The Catholic League The Greatest American Hero: Mouhammed Shaukat, Soldier Of Freedom Remember Her Voice: A Plea To Support The Memory Of Iris Chang, 1968-2004 Robert Redford & The Infamous Mr. Ed Screeched: Dustin Diamond Is Ready For His Close-Up In My Father's House Postcards Of The Hanging: The Softer Side Of Saddam New Model # 15: The Unquiet Love Life of Marilyn Manson Kim Kardashian And The Color Of Love Gavin Newsom Is On Fucking Fire! Assissted Suicide For The Mentally Ill: Not As Crazy As You'd Think The Sad Life And Death Of A Centerfold Getting Obama Lisa Marie Nowak Wants To Know What Love Is Stem Cells: Now With New And Improved Tits! Locking Up The Toybox: The Sad, Strange Saga of Williams v. Attorney General of Alabama "Hurt Him? It Damn Near Rectum!:" An Asshole Adventure In A Loser's Life "With A Head Full Of Snow:" Keith Richards & The Meaning Of Father's Day Any Way You Cut It, I'm Fucked: Sikhism & skippy The Devil, Daniel Johnston, Dr. Reverend & Me The People vs. Paris Hilton Lindsay Lohan is the Greatest American Ever! Making a Run for the Border: Why Comprehensive Immigration Reform is Unmitigated Bullshit On Richard Russell, Curiously Remembered The Decline & Fall of Katie Couric If I Was Peter North The Greatest Song Ever Getting Sober The Right Way Constitutional Law in Theory and Practice Through the Eyes of an Idiot Chuck Schumer is a Dick! Give Me Your Poor, Your Tired, Your Huddled Leftist Shitheads, Yearning to Annoy Me The Poontang Primary Jim Crow For Thee But Not For Me: Barack Obama & Gay Marriage Dickhead Revisited: Rudolph Giuliani & Ground Zero The Adventures of Michael Vick: Part One, Part Two, Part Three ,Part Four Mr. Rove? He Dead. Alberto Gonzales Wants to Kill You Quickly Love: With Jelly or Without Jelly The Adventures of Larry Craig: Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five George W. Bush Through the Eyes of Karl Rove When Children Attack: Pre-Teen Wasteland Edition Chris Crocker is Scarier than Osama bin Laden The Ninth Circut Court of Appeals Said No, No, No James Woods is Everywhere! Your Southern Can is Mine: Reflections on the Meg White Fuck Tape On a Classiness Scale of One to Ten: Rudy Giuliani is a 9/11!, Part Two On Budget Surpluses, Debt, Tax Cuts and the Continuing Idiocy of the Toronto Sun Stephane Dion is Fucked, Liberal Party of Canada .... Fuckeder Laugh, I Nearly Died: Ronnie Wood Had Fun On Howard Hampton, "Happy Warriors" & the Coming Death of Democracy Comparative History Class The Decline & Fall of John Tory Stephen Harper's Best Friend: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Jean Chretien's Memoirs Because He's Slash, Kids. Because He's Slash The Bush Doctrine In Theory & Practice: Kurdistan Edition The Unelected Majority & the Absence of Opposition Canada: Where You Have the Right to Remain Silent ... Until You Don't The Ballad of Rudy & Bernie Vanity's End: When Hot Girls Find Jesus & The Heroin Diaries Rudy's Other Strange Relationship: Why Being Endorsed By Pat Robertson Isn't A Particularly Good Idea If the Leg Fits:Heather Mills is Having a Funny Divorce Giving Thanks for the Amy Fisher Fuck Tape & What It Can Teach Ladies About the Making of Love They Come From the Land of the Ice and Snow and They Won't Go Back: The Return of Pagey, Percy & Whatshisname Whereupon skippy Falls in Love Again: South Asian Edition Pimp My Faith: Mitt Romney Gets His God On For the Love of God: The Lonely Death of Aqsa Parvez Hey Joe, Where You Goin' With That Gun in Your Hand? What's skippy Reading? State of War: The Secret History of the CIA and the Bush Administration by James Risen Finished, Thursday 19 January 2006 A Simple Twist of Fate: Bob Dylan and the Making of Blood on the Tracks by Andy Gill and Kevin Odegard Finished, 23 January 2006 Grits: An Intimate Portrait of the Liberal Party By Christina McCall-Newman Finished, 17 March 2006 Running the World: The Inside Story of the National Security Council and the Architechts of American Power by David Rothkopf Finished, 6 April 2006 Strategery: How George W. Bush is Defeating Terrorists, Outwitting Democrats and Confounding the Mainstream Media By Bill Sammon Finished, May 10, 2006 George Wallace: American Populist By Stephan Lesher Finished, June 15, 2006 Secrets of the Kingdom: The Inside Story of the Saudi - U.S Connection By Gerald Posner Finished, June 20, 2006 Soldiers of God: With Islamic Warriors in Afghanistan and Pakistan By Robert D. Kaplan Finished, June 27, 2006 Before the Storm: Barry Goldwater and the Unmaking of the American Consensus By Rick Perlstien Finished, July 4, 2006 Flawed Giant: Lyndon Johnson And His Times 1961-1973 By Robert Dallek Finished, August 10, 2006 Bush's Brain: How Karl Rove Made George W. Bush Presidential By James Moore and Wayne Slater Finished, October 7, 2006 The Fall Of Baghdad By Jon Lee Anderson Finished, October 31, 2006 The Way It Works: Inside Ottawa By Eddie Goldenberg Finished, November 12, 2006 Child Of God By Cormac McCarthy Finished, November 18, 2006 Right Side Up: The Fall Of Paul Martin And The Rise Of Stephen Harper's New Conservatism By Paul Wells Finished, December 8, 2006 The Private Life Of Chairman Mao By Dr. Li Zhisui, Translation By Tai Hung Chao Finished, December 14, 2006 Exile On Main Street: A Season In Hell With The Rolling Stones By: Robert Greenfeild Finished, February 21, 2007 "Work Hard, Study ... And Keep Out Of Politics!" Adventures And Lessons From An Unexpected Public Life By: James A. Baker, III with Steve Fiffer Finished, March 7, 2007 Supreme Conflict: The Inside Story Of The Struggle For Control Of The United States Supreme Court By Jan Crawford Greenburg Finished, March 14, 2007 Imperial Life In The Emerald City: Life Inside Iraq's Green Zone By: Rajiv Chandransekaran Finished March 18, 2007 Memories Of My Melancholy Whores By: Gabriel Garcia Marquez Finished, March 21, 2007 Guests Of The Ayatollah: The First Battle In America's War With Militant Islam By: Mark Bowden Finished, April 4, 2007 Screwjack By: Hunter S. Thompson Finished, April 19, 2007 State Of Denial: Bush At War, Part III By: Bob Woodward Finished, April 22, 2007 31 Days: Gerald Ford, The Nixon Pardon, And A Government In Crisis By: Barry Werth Finished, May 6, 2007 At The Center Of The Storm: My Years At The CIA By: George Tenent with Bill Harlow Finished, May 28, 2007 No Excuses: Concessions of a Serial Campaigner By: Robert Shrum Finished: July 1, 2007 Chief of Staff: Lyndon Johnson and His Presidency By: W. Marvin Watson with Sherwin Markmarn Finished: July 12, 2007 Nixon and Kissinger: Partners in Power By: Robert Dalleck Finished: July 17, 2007 1912: Wilson, Roosevelt, Taft & Debs - The Election That Changed The Country By: James Chace Finished: August 5, 2007 Becoming Justice Blackmun: Harry Blackmun's Supreme Court Journey By: Linda Greenhouse Finished: August 20, 2007 President Reagan: The Triumph of Imagination By: Richard Reeves Finished: September 20, 2007 Dead Certain: The Presidency of George W. Bush By: Robert Draper Finished: October 1, 2007 Harper's Team: Behind the Scenes in the Conservative Rise to Power By: Tom Flanagan Finished: October 9, 2007 Full Circle: Death and Resurrection in Canadian Conservative Politics By: Bob Plamondon Finished: October 17, 2007 My Years As Prime Minister By: Jean Chretien Finished: October 23, 2007 The Thumpin': How Rahm Emanuel and the Democrats Learned to Be Ruthless and Ended the Republican Revolution By: Naftali Bendavid Finished: October 25, 2007 Not A Suicide Pact: The Constitution in a Time of National Emergency By: Richard A. Posner Finished, October 29, 2007 Slash By: Slash and Anthony Bozza Finished: November 1, 2007 The Heroin Diaries: A Year in the Life of a Shattered Rock Star By: Nikki Sixx and Ian Gittin Finished: November 2, 2007 Clapton: The Autobiography By: Eric Clapton Finished: November 5, 2007 Rise of the Vulcans: The History of Bush's War Cabinet By: James Mann Finished: November 13, 2007 Miami and the Siege of Chicago: An Informal History of the American Political Conventions of 1968 By: Norman Mailer Finished: November 15, 2007 Memoirs: 1939-1993 By: Brian Mulroney Finished: December 3,2007 Peace Kills: America's Fun New Imperalism By: P.J O'Rourke Finished: December 4, 2007 The Looming Tower: Al-Qaeda and the Road to 9/11 By: Lawrence Wright Finished: December 11, 2007 The One Percent Doctrine: Deep Inside America's Pursuit of Its Enemies Since 9/11 By: Ron Suskind Finished: December 19, 2007 Cheney: The Untold Story of America's Most Powerful and Controversial Vice President By: Stephen F. Hayes Finished: December 25, 2007 When Trumpets Call: Theodore Roosevelt After the White House By: Patricia O'Toole Finished: January 1, 2008 America's First Dynasty: The Adamses, 1735-1918 By: Richard Brookhiser Finished:January 7, 2008 The Road By: Cormac McCarthy Finished: January 9, 2008 The Conviction of Richard Nixon: The Untold Story of the Frost/Nixon Interviews By: James Reston, Jr. Finished" January 11, 2008 Write It When I'm Gone: Remarkable Off-the-Record Conversations with Gerald R. Ford By: Thomas M. DeFrank Finished: January 15, 2008 The Bush Tragedy By: Jacob Weisberg Finished: January 18, 2008 When All You Have Is Hope By: Frank O'Dea with John Lawrence Reynolds Finished: January 21, 2008 Confessions of a Political Hitman: My Secret Life of Scandal, Corruption, Hypocrisy and Dirty Tricks That Decide Who Gets Elected (and Who Doesn't) By: Stephen Marks Finished: February 8, 2008 The Nine: Inside the Secret World of the Supreme Court By: Jeffery Toobin Finished, February 18, 2008 The Architect: Karl Rove and the Dream of Absolute Power By: James Moore and Wayne Slater Finished, February 21, 2008 Team of Rivals: The Political Genius of Abraham Lincoln By: Doris Kerns Goodwin Finished, February 26, 2008 Post Office By: Charles Bukowski Finished: March 6, 2008 Factotum By: Charles Bukowski Finished: March 7, 2008 Women By: Charles Bukowski Finished: March 10, 2008 Queer By: William S. Burroughs Finished: March 12, 2008 To Live's To Fly: The Ballad of the Late, Great Townes Van Zant By: John Kruth Finished: March 17, 2008 Twenty Thousand Roads: The Ballad of Gram Parsons and His Cosmic American Music By: David N. Meyer Finished: March 24, 2008 W.A.R: The Unauthorized Biography of William Axl Rose By: Mick Wall Finished: April 4, 2008 Deception: Pakistan, the United States, and the Secret Trade in Nuclear Weapons By: Adrian Levy & Catherine Scott-Clark Finished: April 21, 2008 The Assassins' Gate: America in Iraq By: George Packer Finished: May 5, 2008 Worse than Watergate: The Secret Presidency of George W. Bush By: John W. Dean Finished: May 7, 2008 Clinton in Exile: A President Out of the White House By: Carol Felenthal Finished: May 12, 2008 Nixonland: The Rise of a President and the Fracturing of America By: Rick Perlstein Finished: June 2, 2008 Infidel By: Ayaan Hirsi Ali Finished: June 11, 2008 The People's Machine: Arnold Schwarzenegger and the Rise of Blockbuster Democracy By: Joe Mathews Finished: June 20, 2008 The Strong Man: John Mitchell and the Secrets of Watergate By: James Rosen Finished: June 30, 2008 American Spy: My Secret History in the CIA, Watergate & Beyond By: E. Howard Hunt w/ Greg Aunuapu Finished: July 4, 2008 Legacy of Ashes: The History of the CIA By: Tim Weiner Finished: July 16, 2008 The Prosecution of George W. Bush for Murder By: Vincent Bugliosi Finished: July 21, 2008 War by Other Means: An Insider's Account of the War on Terror By: John Yoo Finished: July 25, 2008 Your Government Failed You: Breaking the Cycle of National Security Disasters By: Richard A. Clarke Finished: July 31, 2008 The Persian Puzzle: The Conflict Between Iran and America By: Kenneth M. Pollack Finished: August 13, 2008 The Human Factor: Inside the CIA's Dysfunctional Intelligence Culture By: Ishmael Jones Finished: August 19, 2008 Havana Nocturne: How the Mob Owned Cuba ... And Then Lost It to the Revolution By: T.J Enjlish Finished: August 25, 2008 Descent into Chaos: The United States and the Failure of Nation Building in Pakistan, Afghanistan and Central Asia By: Ahmed Rashid Finished: Sepember 9, 2008 The Case Against the General: Manuel Noriega and the Politics of American Justice By: Steve Albert Finished: September 25, 2008 Condolezza Rice: An American Life By: Elisabeth Bumiller Finished: October 10, 2008 Presidential Courage: Brave Leaders and How They Changed America, 1789-1989 Michael Beschloss Finished: October 13, 2008 What People Are Saying About skippy "hands down, Canada's most underrated blog" Damian Penny, The Undisputed Dean of Canadian Political Bloggers. Posted at Daimnation , Saturday October 21, 2006 "You can count on “Skippy” to make you think in different ways about familiar issues. You can also depend on him to be rude, offensive, and outrageous – if you're offended by completely uninhibited sexual imagery (and imagination!), don't read Skippy – but your prudery will keep you from an often interesting perspective." Posted On: Jamulblog, July 12, 2007 "Your Maximum Leader is beginning to think that the less he posts, the better Skippy’s political posts are. Indeed, your Maximum Leader even thought (just a few short moments ago) that if your Maximum Leader just stopped blogging all together would Skippy just keep on writing enough good material for two blogs? (Admittedly one of those blogs would be an X-rated social commentary/diary site and the second a remarkably well-informed and insightful political commentary site…)" Posted On: Naked Villainy, September 18, 2007 "I love your writing. few could pull off sarcastic humor and self-loathing like you do. You've turned self-disgust into an art form." Posted By:Ophelia July 19, 2003 "hahaha um, not funny" Posted By: Ophelia July 17, 2003 "This is not fucking funny." Posted By: Bee August 21, 2003 "I join Bee in saying that this isn''t funny AT ALL. jesus christ, Skippy." Posted By: Ophelia August 23, 2003 "You are obiviously being kept down by the Mud People." Posted By: DrReverend August 21, 2003 "I''ll give you $50.00 if you kill yourself." Posted By: DrReverend August 19, 2003 "Last time I read this blog." Posted By: Dave, October 24, 2003 "I think you should stop talking about killing yourself and ACTUALLY kill yourself. For fuck's sake, everybody is tired of hearing about how you might, just do it or face the fact that you are too pathetic to even kill yourself." Posted By: A Caring Guy, October 25, 2003 "If Joey Ramone were alive today he'd probably shit in your mouth." Posted By: DrReverend November 11, "When you're good, you're good. When you're bad, you're even better. See you in hell." Posted By: Anna November 11, 2003 "Skippy, if you can prove to me that giving head and swallowing will without a doubt keep lung cancer and heart disease at bay, you've earned yourself a BJ." Posted By: Mary Magdalicious, December 5, 2003 "Wow...you know nothing about politics." Posted Dr. Reverend, December 26, 2003 "You are a dick and should think seriously about killing your stupid blog - go get a job, you big fag"Posted By: Princess Paragonian, December 29, 2003 "You have a, how shall i say.... appealing 'tough', yet gently gay look." (Univited PM) Posted by:Jus20012002, January 2, 2004 . "I hope jesus doesn't kick you in the nuts."Posted By: Mary Magdalicious February 2, 2004 "Stumbled on to your blog by accident and i must say alot of the stuff had me in stitches. Love it" Posted By:Jeremy February 4, 2004 " .....sick."Posted By: Bee February 7, 2004 "Hey Skippy, you ever consider running for public office in the states? I know some people in the West Virginia state government and our Senator can't live forever.Hell, even Strom, Thomas-Jefferson-Fan, Thurmond died eventually.Posted By: Ford W. Mavrick, February 9, 2004 Wow, for someone who is so opinionated, you really don't know shit about American or Canadian culture. You appear to know even less about history." Posted By: Dr. Reverend February 13, 2004 "Your blog's the best I have come across in a long time. I may not agree with all you say but the verve with which you say it and the humour and irreverance is terrific. These days when the media just reproduces the handout from central control, blogs like yours do a great deal to form informed opinion in a democratic society. Thanks. Keep it up." Posted By:Anandan February 13, 2004 "SKIPPY pities ME? Where's my noose?" Posted By: Kilgore Trout March 22, 2004 "Jesus Skippy. Now Allah is going to kick you in the nuts" Posted By: Mary Magdalicious March 22, 2004 "I could make one that says "Skippy has a small penis" although his cock is superb. Posted By: Bestest Pussy March 23,2004 "Cunt sucking is for bitches.You're considered one of the girls because you dress like one. Posted By: Dr. Reverend March 24, 2004 "John Malkovich is one sexy bastard. I have such a thing for him. And I never realized til now, Skippy, how much you resemble John Malkovich...this, by default, makes you also one sexy bastard. See how that works?" Posted By: Zombie March, 26, 2004 "Too bad you live up north. It could have been beautiful. Ever since I started coming here and saw your pic I wondered why you weren't getting more action. You are not a bad looking guy at all. Maybe the girls are just...well, that's enough kindness for one day." Posted By: Serenity March 26, 2004 "Hell, if they make gay marriage legal, I'll marry you..." Posted By: Outpatient March 26, 2004 "You look creepier than the REM faggot. But he looks much more like a homersexual." Posted By: Dr. Reverend March 27, 2004 "Purge Trifecta. When all others make you wonder where the content Gods reside, check here: Chaotic Not Random and Happy Furry Puppy Story Time with Norbizness and Enjoy Every Sandwich. These guys write their balls off." Ruthlessly Stolen From Primal Purge March 26, 2004 "Skippy, your hits will go up again if you post pictures of your man nipples. Lots of man nips." Posted By: Mary Magdalicious April 15, 2004 "What the fuck? You turning faggot? Posted By: Dr. Reverend April 16, 2004 "Sometimes it gets to be just a little too much. Sharing, that is." Posted By: Bee May 23, 2004 "I'll give you $5.00 if you make the fucking font you use on your blog bigger. I'll give you $50.00 if you stop fucking writing about American politics. I'll give you $500.00 if you fucking kill youself." Posted By: Dr. Reverend May 26, 2004 "Of course women like jerks. Why the fuck do you think they like me? I guess you've learned nothing from me over all these years." Posted By: Dr. Reverend May 29, 2004 "Sometimes a bitch just has to die." Posted By: Ford W. Maverick May 29, 2004 "It looks like we have more in common than the swastikas carved in our foreheads."Posted By: Dr. Reverend May 29, 2004 "This might be a shallow and 'Waiting-for-Godot-like' comment but...you seem to have not only brains but also beauty." Posted By: Nietzscheswife June 7, 2004 "Skippy, you are such a twisted bastard. Seriously. Why haven't we had sex yet?"Posted By: 0phelia June 25, 2004 "Just found your site. I find some of the things you say quite disgusting. And really quite enjoyable,so keep up the good work."Posted By: Big Al June 28, 2004 "I've read most of your blog. I'd say that so far it's the best I've come across, and believe me, I've seen a few. It's funny, well written (except for the spelling...) and interesting. There will always be those few idiots who just don't get it. It's useless to get worked up about it." Posted By: Johnny June 30, 2004 "Skippy... Go for the facial tattoo. I dig em', and fuck what those other bitches think. You can always bite their tits off if they back talk you." Posted By: Mary Magdalicious July 1, 2004 "Go fuck yourself up your butt." Posted By: Reek Stankleberry July 6, 2004 "Well if ass-fucking won't keep Satan away, I just don't know what will." Posted By: Dr. Reverend July 7, 2004 "dude, you're killing me. keep it up." Posted By: Son of Nixon July 22, 2004 "Are you always either naked or in a suit?" Posted By: Rehella July 22, 2004 "That person should speak for himself or herself. 'Cause you really are that much of a cunt, skippy." Posted By: Kilgore Trout August 4, 2004 "I've read you for a long time but have never commented before. That isn't a slight to your great writing ability, it's mainly because I don't want to be seen here!" Posted By: Paul August 4, 2004 " Dead on. Bulls-eye. I take back what I said about you being a cunt. For now." Posted By: Kilgore Trout August 4, 2004 "Know what, Skippy? You're alright." Posted By: Anna August 18, 2004 "Excellent work. Damn you for being so dead on." Posted By: The Maximum Leader August 24, 2004 "Skippy, fuck the puppy idea. Try getting a monkey that smokes. That will get you laid." Posted By: Mary Magdalicious August 27, 2004 "As to the beard - I like the clean shaven better - and what's wrong with a bald head? Bald heads are hot on some guys - unfortunately most can't pull it off * sigh * You look like you can pull it off though and that's a good thing - not a bad. BTW, love your blog. I saw it in my referrers and thought it was just a random hit. Then I started reading and found you to be hilarious - it was only after about 10 posts that I noticed you linked me. I was more than flattered - linked by someone I was about to link anyway - awesome. Thanks" Posted By: Kinky August 27, 2004 "Fuckin' Goy bastard." Posted By: Dr Reverend December 19,2004 "Who does a guy have to sleep with to get one of his Skippy quotes pasted to the sidebar? Great googly-moogly." Posted By: Smallholder December 20, 2004 "Are you a child molester or what's the story?" Posted By: Fukinator, December 28, 2004 "Sick dude." Posted By: DCayer December 29, 2004 "You officially suck." Posted By: Sorry, January 22, 2005 "I heart you, Skippy" Posted By: Karinsky, January 25, 2005 "As I've stated before, you were quite skilled in bed and I had no need to fake any of my multiple orgasms." Posted By: 0phelia, June 30, 2005 "I love Skippy. I swear I do. The only blogger more twisted than me." Posted on: Velociworld, July 26, 2005 " You are so fucking ignorant about America. And while the American people ARE stupid, so are you." Posted By: Bill Lassiter, August 2, 2005 "How can you not love a man who hates himself so viciously?" Posted on: It's All About De , August 31, 2005 "If I wasn't positive that all Canadian men had tiny penises, I'd be all over that Skippy." Posted On: It's All About De "I've seen pictures of you and I'd say you're fuckable." Posted By: Joan, September 29, 2005 " I love your posts on Canadian politics even more than I love your posts on porn. And I love your porn posts. Why the hell do you waste all this talent on the internet? Write a book or something, goddammit! Posted By: Cliff S., November 17, 2005 "Let it never be said that underneath your self-cavilling, bitter (yet strangely egomaniacal) surface that you never take the time to give the people what they want. Even if it's just one people. Gawd bless you, Skippy! Posted By: Locke, November 18, 2005 "Wow! I don't know that I've ever been flattered and yet somewhat revolted at the same time... It's an interesting sensation." Posted By: Dewey in Toronto, December 1, 2005 "Very often, debating you is like playing whack a mole: You pop up some premised assertion moles, I pull out my mallet and start whacking, then you pop up more premised assertion moles - which are mostly or completely unrelated to the original moles I was whacking at. Your stock of moles seemingly stretches into infinity. And yet, an endless supply of moles does not equate to cogent argument. Very often, debating you is like speaking to a salesman who will not answer a particular direct question, and instead flies off on the flight of rhetorical splendor known as "baffling them with bullshit." I'm impressed with your rhetorical skills, and your IQ, and your accumulation of knowledge. I'm impressed that I'm the American citizen, yet you might have a more thorough knowledge of the American Constitution than I. And yet, these impressive things are not substitutes for cogent argument."Posted By; gcotharn, December 21, 2005 "Besides, you seem to think you're the least respectable person I know. While you're often right, you're wrong on that count. Careful, I might out YOU as a nice guy. Or something." Posted By: Dewey In Toronto, December 27, 2005 "I've been to Toronto. The most dangerous thing I saw there was an 11 foot tall red head with shaved balls."Posted By: Judy, December 31, 2005 "There was this "Caught on Tape!" video I watched back in my highschool days where one of the scenes shows two people starting to cross the railroad tracks. One looks up at the last minute and sees the train, the other does not. In the commercial, it cuts away just before the train does its thing, but the video... Your blog is like a twisted version of the video. We know the train is going liquify you in shocking gory fashion, but that's why we keep coming back. It's so much more fun that we both know the train is coming and you still gleefully walk into its path...and we love you all the more for it." Posted By:Locke, January 13, 2006 "Fuck. I'm hooked." Posted By: DeAnna, January 14, 2006 "Your Maximum Leader has found Skippy's commentary more insightful and interesting than anyone elses. So now he supposes that Skippy will go back to writing about porn and strippers he meets in the subway." Posted By: The Maximum Leader on Naked Villainy January 24, 2006 "Slightly crazed is fine, but with the beard you look like a total nutjob. If you ever hope to get laid again, for fuck's sake, Skippy, NEVER, EVER grow a saddam beard. You're welcome."Posted By: The Lady O, 28 January, 2006 "Maybe we should get married. My readers could support us by purchasing my worn panties and you could be the panty pimp." Posted By; Joan 28 January 2006 " I know it must be hard for you...being objectified by women all the time. But come on, how can they really help themselves? Have you seen yourself lately? Your pheramones preceed you into a room (as does your crotch). Don't blame it all on them...you did choose to leave your house. :D" Posted By: Joan, 3 February, 2006 "Skippy, you sarcastic twerp." Posted By: Arwen, 8 February 2006 "Just so you know.. if I had to choose between Moussaoui or Skippy.. You'd win. Even if I know what an asshole you are. Posted By; Judy, 13 February 2006 "I'd be willing to sign a legal document stating that is IS ok, in fact, to masturbate whilst thinking of me." Posted By: DeAnna (Who seems unaware of my reputation as an outlaw) February 24, 2006 "Feel free to masturbate while thinking of me...actually, do you need some of my panties to help you with that?" Posted By: Joan, February 24, 2006 "I blame myself for this. I have been too lenient with you. Your Godless behaviour must come to an end. You will receive a severe beating this weekend and I am contemplating removing your testicles." Posted By: Dr. Reverend, February 24, 2006 "Just remember skippy, the US never threw a fit when you smuggled your own personal WMD over the border twice a year. After all, it wasn't like you were hiding in your pants or anything. All's fair in love and war, so to speak." Posted By: Judy, April 4, 2006 "Wow...nothing hotter than a man willing to issue fatwas for pussy." Posted By: Joan, April 16, 2006 "You sir, are a brilliant writer." Posted By: Judy, May 4, 2006 "I think I'm falling in love." Posted By: DeAnna, May 11, 2006 "THIS IS THE MOST DIABOLICAL FALSITY YOU HAVE EVER ENGAGED IN!!!! I was intending to kick you in the face upon our next meeting, but now it's obvious that I must douse your scrotum in kerosene and set your testicles aflame. Alas, it is the only way you will learn." Posted By: Dr. Reverend, May 12, 2006 "And i would like to commend you on some excellent blogging. This particular story would normally warrant a few cryptically humorous lines and a link. To an ordinary blogger. But you managed to wring an essay of New Yorker-esque proportions out of it. That takes talent. Your beautiful young friend is right. I see big things for you in the future." Posted By: Annika, June 4, 2006 " I like a man who will unabashedly tell someone his penis size because hes unashamed. Thats hot. *raises hand* I'll take that 6.5, thank ya" Posted By: Kinky, June 6, 2006 "Elvis, like skippy, is the very definition of rock and roll. Posted By: Rube, June 10, 2006 " I'm beginning to think you're the only good man left in the world, skippy. WTF?" Posted By: By: DeAnns, June 11, 2006 "Just so everyone knows. Skippy does indeed, taste like bacon. And, any guy who doesn't know cum tastes good to real women, is clueless." Posted By: Judy, July 2, 2006 "There was a British columnist whose work was described as 'a suicide note in weekly installments.' This blog is sort of like that." Posted By: Gadfly, July 6, 2006 "Jeez, Skippy. Sometimes I really hate coming here." Posted By: Cynlee, July 18, 2006 "Someone needs to throttle you with a riding crop...truly!" Posted By: Joan, July 18, 2006 "Holy mother of god. I just had an orgasm. It's official: I'm devoting the rest of my life to you, skippy." Posted By: DeAnna, July 19, 2006 "Skippy, sometimes I'm not quite sure of your sanity, but you are without a doubt the baddest morning news reading, quiz show hosting, talent introducing PIMP in the motherfuckin' blogosphere." Posted By: Shank, July 19, 2006 This work is licensed under a Creative Commons License. Links BLOGGY GOODNESS The Sandwich Shop (or what passes for my July 2004 - September 2005 archives, before Blogger decided to fuck with me again My Diapers are Bloody What Would Tyler Durden Do? 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