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Friday, March 26, 2004
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TALK ABOUT THE PASSION - PART THE FOURTH
It's official, not only will viewing The Passion of the Christ fill your soul, it will empty your head.
Theologians and biblical historians generally agree that Jesus Christ never wanted to kill anyone and that he was crucified at the age of thirty-three. I would like to see 9 out of every 10 people that I meet on a given day choke on their own fucking blood and, at thirty-four, I have not yet been nailed to lumber and left to die in the town square. On the other hand, as I've noted before, I haven't been nailed at all in almost two years. Of course, Jesus is believed to have died a virgin, so I'm still ahead.
This idiot however, committed the perfect crime. He iced his girlfriend and make it look like a suicide. Do you have any idea how hard that is to do? Really, really hard.....I would imagine. But then Shithead goes to see Mel Gibson's ecclesiastic snuff movie and cops to the hit. In Texas, no less! He just signed his own death warrant.
So word to the wise, if your relationship isn't going the way you'd like, stay away from this film! Or only date Pharasees. Jesus would want you to strangle them and make it look like a suicide. Just ask Mel. Alas, Pharasee girls are hard to find these days, so I recommend you stay away from the movie. It'll just make you do something stupid.
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