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Monday, April 26, 2004
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HELLO DALAI
As I write this the Dalai Lama is in Toronto, where is expected to be through the middle of next week. Last week, he was in Vancouver-where Sharon Stone embarrassed herself, yet again- and in Ottawa, where he met with Canada's doomed Prime Minister, Paul Martin.
The fourteenth Dalai Lama held great hopes of meeting a sitting Canadian Prime Minister, which heretofore had not happened. This is because Canada highly regards its relationship with the People's Republic of China and would prefer not to fuck it up.
At this point, some background is necessary.
China invaded and annexed Tibet, of which Tibetans regard the Dalai Lama as head of state, in 1951. Every country that sought diplomatic relations with China was required to recognize that both Tibet and Tawain are provinces of China. Diplomatic niceties require all nations with relations with China to accept its view that that Dalai Lama -along with the Taiwanese leadership- as secessionist leaders of renegade provinces. This posed some problems for Martin. The Canadian government accepts the Chinese view of Tibet (as does the United Nations), but would really like to get the votes of hippie shitheads and the endorsement of the Beastie Boys for his soon to be called election campaign. Leftist dipshits under 30 view the Dalai Lama much in the same way I view Elvis.
The question then arose, "How do I get the Beastie Boy vote without pissing off the government of the world's most populous nation?" A compromise was reached, Martin would meet the Dalai Lama- giving him some of the international respect he craves- on the condition that politics not be an issue of discussion. If the meeting between the Prime Minister and the Dalai Lama is a spiritual discussion, Martin can then save face with the Chinese. It seemed like a perfect solution.
Until the Dalai Lama screwed Martin. Martin, like an idiot, grinned, nodded and preened in his nifty new prayer shawl as the Dalai Lama twisted the knife inside him.
Although the meeting lasted only 5 minutes, that's apparently all it took for the Dalai Lama to fuck Martin to his own ends. Following the meeting, Martin was forced to concede that human rights were discussed, including human rights in Tibet. This topic is decidedly political. The Dalai Lama then gave an address where he attempted to conceal his dishonesty and minimized his political goals. He also engaged in some world-class, ass-kissing hypocrisy toward his Canadian hosts.
The Lama stated that Tibet wasn't seeking independence from China, merely autonomy. This is commonly known as, "a distinction without a difference" or "a good place to start." This is interesting as both the Dalai Lama and his supporters have in the past referred to China's "occupation" of Tibet. Historically speaking, occupation is something that the occupied tend not to try to accommodated. If however, the rest of the world accepts the occupation with the power of international law, you soon recognize the need to proceed with baby steps. The Chinese leadership understands this tactic and this is precisely why they opposed the meeting in the first place. They know far better than Canada did what a sneaky bastard the Dalai Lama is.
Most of my readers are now probably choking with outrage. They're probably saying things like, "skippy is a vicious motherfucker! Fuck him! Doesn't that stupid prick realize that China IS brutally occupying Tibet and destroying its culture?" And the answer is, "Yes, yes the stupid prick does realize this." Unfortunately, viewing foreign policy through moralistic eyes can lead to very bad places. China could very well decide that Quebec is an "occupied, humiliated society", which seperatist forces in Quebec would agree with. China could then recognize, or even finance, the Parti Quebecois as the legitimate voice of the people of Quebec. Once a permanent member of the UN Security Council granted such recognition, Canada was effectively cease to exist. It could get better. Let's say that the Organization of African States decided that blacks within the United States were an oppressed minority, worthy of their own territory and supported the Nation of Islam. This is why countries usually mind their business when it comes to policies with the established borders of other states. International relations would rapidly descend into anarchy if they didn't.
It continues to amaze me that campus demonstrating, face-piercing assholes will go to any lengths to "free Tibet" except to actually learn something about it.
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