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Sunday, April 04, 2004
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IT'S IN THE WAY THAT YOU USE IT
I'm not much of a handy man. Manually manipulating anything more complex than my own penis usually breaks my spirit and sends me weeping to the bar. There are times I wish I was better at building stuff though. Maybe I'd do something like this guy did.
Mr. Brunie was a man of action and style. He felt a little blue and remedied the situation. He didn't do anything oafish, like talk it out with friends and family. No, not our Kevin. He put his practical skills to use. He built himself a guillotine. Most guys faced with intractable problems have a tendency toward laziness. They'll do stuff like hang themselves. Since this happened in England, where guns are in short supply, he went with the guillotine.
I think that's classy. Kevin seemed like my kind of guy.
Of course, not all mentally ill, British handymen settle for killing themselves. Sometimes they have other scores to settle. As we all know, attempting to drive you and your "mum" out of your home, making clicking noises and causing draughts are things that no psycho can be expected to take lying down.
Crazy people always know how best to make a point. Let's say that you're sick and tired of being kept down by the man. I can't think of a better way to make your displeasure known than breaking his door off the hinges and taking a dump in his office. That beats a strongly worded letter every time.
Trust me, I've tried both.
If you believe anything you read here, you should read this. It doesn't get any easier as you get older. Even when you're 99 years old, people will insist on pissing you off.
Sometimes people won't let you go about bettering yourself peacefully. Should they really be surprised when you get pissed?
The world confuses me sometimes.
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