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Thursday, April 08, 2004
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SAM WALLS: TOO PRETTY FOR POLITICS
If you ask any cop about the most disturbing and violent calls they respond to, they'll be unanimous in telling you about the cold fear the pervades them when sent on a domestic disturbance call. Do strangers go apeshit and whack each other? Sure, but the real, hardcore mayhem comes out to play with people who know and love each other.
This is as true in poltics as it is in relationships.
As much as people bemoan the nastiness in general election campaigns, primaries are often far, far more vicious. Remember Willie Horton? Willie was a first-degree murderer who was given weekend furloughs by the Massachussettes Department of Corrections. During one of his "weekends off", Horton left the state, went to Maryland and engaged in a demented spree of attempted murder and rape. This was pointed out by George H. W Bush and pretty much sunk the already doomed campaign of Governor Michael Dukakis in 1988. Democrats still point to that as an example of Republican viciosousness and racism.
What Demorats don't like to point out is the Bush 41 didn't discover Willie Horton all on his own. Then Senator Al Gore gave Horton to Bush as a birthday present. Gore used Horton to sink Dukakis in the Michigan primary. In a typically Al Gore way though, this didn't help him. Jesse Jackson wound up winning the primary and Gore was consequently nearly kicked out of professional politics for being nasty and useless. Were it not for Bill Clinton, Gore would today be standing by a feeway offramp with a sandwich board sign that reads, "Will Create Internet for Food."
Like I said, the most chilling violence happens at home.
Such is the case for a seat in the Texas state house. There's a Republican candidate named Sam Walls running for the seat. Walls' primary opponent found some unflattering pictures of him. See, Walls has a hobby, he likes being pretty. Now as discerning cross-dressing fans with beautiful legs such as you and I know, wearing a panty and brassire set with, say, a lovely sundress doesn't make you a homo. Of course, you and I know that, but try convincing Texas Republican primary voters of that.
I would've been much funnier if the story was held back until the general election, just too see how the Democrats would exploit it. It would be very difficult for a Democrat to imply that his opponent would "persecute the transgendered" when there's a better than even chance that he's on the debate stage wearing a pair of crotchless panties under his suit.
In short, regardless of it's merits, the campaign of Sam Walls for the Texas legislature stinks of death. This is too bad. I understand he already picked out the tiara for his sweraing in.
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