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Friday, May 28, 2004
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ABSOLUTELY, 100% FUCKING GUILTY
I've said this before and I'll say it again. It is physically impossible to be a ballsier motherfucker than Othello...I mean, Orenthal James Simpson. Just when you think that he would ride off into obscurity to enjoy the rarest of achievements, getting away with double murder, the Juice turns up. I assume he does this just to fuck with us all. Like he's saying, "Remember me? I killed my wife and some waiter and got away with it. I enjoy my $25,000.00 a month pension and fuck blondes who look just like Nicole! You try killing two people in cold blood and enjoy my lifestyle. I DOUBLE dare you."
Periodically, he gives interviews and they never fail to be a pisser. Two of the my favorite quotes of all time come from post-verdict O.J interviews. The first one,
"If I did kill Nicole, it was because I loved her very much."
To Esquire Magazine 1998 (I think, I can't find the issue, but I have it somewhere.)
And, the all time king of ironic quotes was when O.J was asked by Katie Couric on the Today Show what lesson he had learned since his release from the hoosegow,
"I never knew how hard it was to be a single parent."
Goddamn, that's cold. How would you like to be Justin and Sydney's grandparents, knowing that the swine who butchered their daughter is raising those kids and there aint a fucking thing they can do about it? Leave it to the Juice to go on national TV and say, "So, how do ya like them apples?"
I've always had a love/hate relationship with Simpson. It goes all the way back to my childhood. He was a big time football player when I was a kid, and he was everything I wasn't. Talented, celebrated, rich and good-looking. The fact that I'm still none of those things and he is galls me to no end. He murdered a hot blonde and who, to this very day, does he get to fuck? Hot blondes. Turns out that Bill Hicks was right. Chicks do dig jerks!
It infuriates me to this day that I had no choice but to support the verdict in his criminal trial even though he's the guiltiest man alive. It seems to be that most people believe that being guilty and being framed are mutually exclusive. In fact, the opposite is often true. Cops often feel that they "know" who's guilty - and in cases of a recently divorced woman being murdered, the ex is almost ALWAYS the killer - but the evidence isn't necessarily enough to support an arrest and/or conviction. Don't believe me? The City of Los Angeles has millions of dollars in civil judgments against it to back me up.
To mitigate O.J's being murderous vermin, he did write history's funniest "suicide note." The link doesn't show this, but in the original, there is a smiley face for the "O" in his signature. Come to think of it, this is another reason that I'm pissed at O.J! I've spent twenty fucking YEARS trying to come up with a funny suicide note and that motherfucker does it by accident! Because it's virtually impossible to make a smiley face with any of my real initials.
It turns that O.J just may be a better man than I am. I can't tell you how depressing that is to me. I mean, "I Want To Tell You," and everything....Sorry, couldn't resist.
Now, put yourself in the Juice's Bruno Maglis. You've killed your ex-wife and a waiter and gotten away with it. Sweet, huh? You figure that you'll go off to Florida and spend the spend the rest of your days quietly banging blondes that look just like the wife you croaked, and live of that civil-judgment untouchable $25,000 a month pension nut you've built up.
Not our O.J.
I found this on A Small Victory about an hour ago.
Can't this man be stopped?: Apparently taking a break from his continuing search for the real killers, O.J. Simpson is hoping to mark the 10th anniversary of wife Nicole's savage murder June 12 - along with the fatal knifing of unlucky waiter Ron Goldman - by cashing in big-time.
Star Magazine reports that Simpson's attorney, Yale Galanter, has been shopping his client around for paid interviews.
"It will be expensive," the mag quotes Galanter. "TV rights are going for $100,000. For print rights, between $20,000 and $25,000."
Nothing if not classy, Galanter adds that O.J. might even be willing to do a photo shoot at the Brentwood crime scene and at Nicole's grave site - if the price is right.
"It would have to be a multimillion-type deal," Galanter says. A grave site photo would be "worth $500,000 ... Our preference is a standard interview ... but it's just money."
WOW. 500 large for a photo of O.J at Nicole's gravesite.
Let me repeat that so it can sink in properly.
$500,000.00 for a photograph of O.J Simpson at the grave of the woman he put there.
I wonder what what it cost to get him to spike the murder weapon into the grass and do and end-zone dance on her headstone. Would he charge double to repeat it at Ron Goldman's grave?
Jesus Christ, I don't know what sickens me more, humanity or that I find it so entertaining.
I may not have a decent bone in my pathetic body.
On the other hand, this made me smile.
I still can't believe it's been 10 years. My life has really gone nowhere.
O.J, if you're reading this, can you fly to Toronto and slaughter me, on the house. You must miss the bloodlust.
Just click the "E-mail skippy" link and I'll send you my home and work addresses with a recent photo.
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