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Thursday, May 27, 2004
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YOU CAN'T ALWAYS JUDGE A BOOK BY IT'S COVER, JUST MOST OF THE TIME
Can anyone think of a more appropriate name for a child-porn enthusiastic clown than "Spanky?"
Christ, I just checked the "Clowns of America International" (which seems to me to be an oxymoron, but whaterver.) Did you know they have a Code of Ethics that consists of Eight Clown Commandments?
Christ, these makes clowns seem even creepier than they already are. Let's explore them shall we?
1.I will keep my acts, performance and behavior in good taste while I am in costume and makeup. I will remember at all times that I have been accepted as a member of the clown club only to provide others, principally children, with clean clown comedy entertainment. I will remember that a good clown entertains others by making fun of himself or herself and not at the expense or embarrassment of others.
This is why clowns are almost never funny. "clean clown comedy entertainment" is almost never comedic or entertaining. And as someone who knows something about comedy, I can tell you that the best laughs are virtually always at the expense of others.
2.I will learn to apply my makeup in a professional manner. I will provide my own costume. I will carry out my appearance and assignment for the entertainment of others and not for personal gain or personal publicity when performing for either the International club or alley events. I will always try to remain anonymous while in makeup and costume as a clown, though there may be circumstances when it is not reasonably possible to do so.
So that's why you never see a clown posse, other than of the insane variety. Having people do stuff for you and escaping anonymity is kind of the point of getting into show business in the first place, isn't it?
3. I will neither drink alcoholic beverages nor smoke while in makeup or clown costume. Also, I will not drink alcoholic beverages prior to any clown appearances. I will conduct myself as a gentleman/lady, never interfering with other acts, events, spectators, or individuals. I will not become involved in or tolerate sexual harassment or discrimination on the basis of race, color, religion, sex, national origin, age, disability or any protected status.
Jesus, they take all the fun out of clowning. I'm assuming that the COAI is a union of some sort. Ethic #3 is compelling argument for, if you insist on being a clown, being a scab clown.
4. I will remove my makeup and change into my street clothes as soon as possible following my appearance, so that I cannot be associated with any incident that may be detrimental to the good name of clowning. I will conduct myself as a gentleman/lady at all times.
This would seem obvious. Clowning is a proud profession. God fordid you be associated with "with any incident that may be detrimental" to its good name.
5. While on appearance in makeup and costume, I will carry out the directives of the producer or his designated deputies. I will abide by all performance rules without complaint in public.
So quit bitching about how the seltzer hurts your eyes, you pussy!
6. I will do my very best to maintain the best clown standards of makeup, costuming, properties, and comedy.
There are such standards?
7. I will appear in as many clown shows as I possibly can.
I assume that this like the slogan "be an army of one" for people who are queasy about having sex with adults.
8. I will be committed to providing an atmosphere free of discrimination and harassment for clowns of all ages to share ideas and learn about the art of clowning.
Fuck! There goes my idea of "skippy, the KKK clown." Why are people so determined to ruin my fun.
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