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Wednesday, June 23, 2004
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MORE FUN WITH THE RYANS or "LITLLE DITTY 'BOUT JERI AND JACK"
"Respondent became very upset with me, and said it was not a 'turn on' for me to cry."
-From the child custody declaration of Seven of Nine
It never is. Crying is almost never sexy.
The mean saga of Jack and Jeri Ryan is continuing with a vengence. All the Democrats need do at this point is sit back and break out the popcorn while is Ryan is torn to tiny little pieces by Republicans. Any cop will tell you that domestic durbances are always the most harrowing calls they answer and that is even more true in politics. The nastiest campaigns in the U.S are always primaries. Ryan's marriage to, and subsequent divorce from, Seven of Nine was an issue in the primary. Apparently, there had been rumours about the happy couple for some time. Ryan assured everyone that there was no "there" there.
Turns out Ryan lied. There's a LOT there.
And Republicans are understandably pissed.
The only real question now is whether Ryan survives long enough to get humiliated by the Democratic nominee (and former pothead) Barack Obama. There's a better than even chance that he won't.
You see, I found Seven of Nine's affadvit (have I mentioned lately how much I love the Smoking Gun?) The sex club stuff is all there, just as clear as day. But that's about all that's there. Most of the document is redacted. Why do I suspect that there's even more fun to this story? I think young Jack knows that, too. He could be either very stubborn or very stupid and insist on staying in the race, in which case the redacted bits will leak in about two weeks. It'll be fun to watch.
The person I feel most sorry for in this strange story is George Will. Will, or as he prefers to be called, "the Smartest Person in the Universe", wrote a glowing profile of Ryan just last fall. Poor George must feel like a putz now for saying,
"Three years ago, when Ryan was 41, he walked away from moneymaking to start his real life. Or resume it. Earlier he had been doing what his family has always done, which involves making the rest of us seem like moral slackers." On the other hand, we may be "moral slackers", what with our proclivity for wife-swapping (or is that just me?) The rebuttal to that is, if you were married to Seven of Nine, what precisely would you swap FOR?
All the same, I feel badly for Mr. Will.
Jack seems to be handling it well though. Seriously, does this guy look worried?
Actually, yeah...he kinda does.
He knows it's over, too. But with his amount of bank, he can finallt be free to bang as many broads in public as he can. As a matter of fact, he can buy Macy's and rail them in the window.
I'm so good at seeing silver linings.
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