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Saturday, June 26, 2004
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VICE PRESIDENTS GONE WILD
Who knew that the vice-president of the United States had such a potty mouth? There are any number of vicious things that I would like to say to Senator Patrick Leahy of Vermont. The things I'd like to say to him are usually the kind of things that prompt FBI investigations. And since I've gotten hits from both the FBI and the Justice Department, added with the fact that I intend to cross the border in the next few weeks, I'll leave it at that.
It remains unclear as to whether Cheney said "fuck you" or "go fuck yourself" to Leahey. What the exact quote is is really immaterial. It's incredibly fucking funny. Ordinarily, you would expect a politician in Cheney's situation to apologize profusely and write the whole thing off to stress. Not our Dick. He actually seems to be as proud of his language as I am for him.
Cheney said he "probably" used an obscenity in an argument Tuesday on the Senate floor with Patrick J. Leahy (D-Vt.) and added that he had no regrets. "I expressed myself rather forcefully, felt better after I had done it," Cheney told Neil Cavuto of Fox News. The vice president said those who heard the putdown agreed with him. "I think that a lot of my colleagues felt that what I had said badly needed to be said, that it was long overdue."
Wowee! I guess this administration was serious when it said that it wanted to "change the tone in Washington." Maybe next the vice presient will grab Ted Kennedy by the throat and call him "a stupid, murderous motherfucker."
David Carle, Leahy's spokesman, said: "It appears the vice president's previous calls for civility are now inoperative."
That would be an understatement of epic proportions. It's odd, too. Democrats aren't ordinarily celebrated for their sense of irony.
As news spread on Thursday of the Cheney-Leahy exchange, Senate Minority Leader Thomas A. Daschle (D-S.D.) appealed to colleagues of both parties to rise above "partisan retaliation" and find a "common ground" for lawmaking.
Speaking first with reporters and then addressing the full Senate, Daschle acknowledged that earlier efforts by Democrats and Republicans to restore the Senate's once-cherished comity have yielded meager results. "But we have to try . . . to build a better relationship" between the political parties, regardless of which controls the Senate after the November elections, he said.
Tom Daschle is so adorably sensitive. And given that there's a near even chance that he'll be out of a job soon, he really shouldn't worry much about decorum.
Cheney, of course, will be in the Senate for another four years. And with this new change in attitude, it'll be fun to watch. Maybe somebody can give him Jeri Ryan's phone number. I'd love to read those transcripts.
The best part is that Cheney isn't even the most quotable of Republicans. That honor goes to California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger. Once, when filming a movie in Mexico, the New Yorker revealed this week, Schwarzenegger visited the home of famed Mexican sculptor Francisco Zuniga. As he sat beside the girlfriend of Zuniga's son, Arnold began stroking her arm and announced to the room, "You know, the thing I love about Mexican women is how furry their pussies are."
Truer words have never been spoken, Governor. Truer words have never been spoken.
Can you Americans change your Constitution soon, so Arnold can be president? That'll be funny.
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