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Monday, June 14, 2004
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YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS!
If there was one thing that I grew up having a steadfast conviction in, it was that everybody loves lesbians. It's what truly makes us a brotherhood of man. My solution to all of the world's problems is to sit both sides, let's say....Yassir Arafat and Ariel Sharon, for example, in a room with a stack of VHS copies of Vivid's "Where The Boys Aren't" series. They would both then recognize that there is more that unites them than divides them.
Like most of my best theories, it turned out to be wrong.
It appears that not everyone shares my enthusiasm for the sapphic pleasures.
A bunch of Hindus actually find it objectionable. Hindus tend to find several sensible things objectionable, like beef for example. I've often contended that those who don't eat beef are...how should I approach this....ummmmmmm, the enemy. That's not to harsh, is it? Good, I didn't think so either.
I hope I don't offend anyone by saying this, but vegetarians were just born wrong. Vegatarians and those who riot and the sight of two girls kissing.
This is unfortunate as some of favorite people are Indian. I've been long fascinated by Indian culture. For these reasons, I've overlooked the whole not eating steak thing. But to prevent lesbianism from taking its rightful place in the cinematic pantheon is just too much for me. I have to take a stand somewhere. As Abraham Lincoln once said, "All that is required for evil to prevail is for good men to do nothing."
Well, I'm doing something. That's right. My enemies list has just grown by a billion people.
"This film is out to degrade Indian culture. We will not allow anyone to do this," he told Reuters. The director of "Girlfriend" said his film did not violate Indian culture but merely reflected a slice of society that has long been brushed under the carpet.
"If my film doesn't not offend any religious or spiritual sentiments, then why the breakage?" Karan Razdan told Zee News television. "I'm just trying to show what's happening in society."
Absolutely! Preach it! If there's one thing that's been horribly lacking in the sapphic cinema, it's been super-hot Indian girls. A man can only watch Kama Sutra: A Tale of Love so many times before his hand begins to cramp.
And for a people so celebrated for their spices, they seem to have overlooked the one labelled "variety."
Now, if this doesn't get me nominated for one of those "Profile in Courage" awards, I don't know what will.
That is all.
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