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Tuesday, July 20, 2004
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ANOTHER MEMO TO MICHAEL
To The Attention of the Erstwhile King of Pop
As much as I respect your life's work of testing the outer bounds of the bizzarre and what polite society will tolerate, you should certainly be aware that there are larger forces at work here. As I'm sure you understand, you currently face a ten count indictment. This indictment consists of a litany of the ugliest allegations that an adult male can face. A conviction on any of the counts will almost certainly lead to your lengthy stay as a guest of the California Department of Corrections. One shouldn't have to remind you that your, shall we say, delicacy would likely make your future there....uncertain. Now, I've supported you through all of this so far, and believe that you will eventually be vindicated. On the other hand, I've been wrong about such things before.
But let's assume for a moment that you and I are right and you are aquitted in criminal court. That does not mean the end of the ugliness. Most knowledgable sources will tell you that a criminal trial is merely a tee-off for the civil trial. Given the lower burden of proof and the laxity in evidentiary rules, your fate in civil court is far more uncertain. OJ Simpson can tell you in more detail how that works.
Criminal trials, followed by civil trials are very expensive, win, lose or draw. Your finacial troubles are almost as legendary as they are harrowing. Allegations of child molestation, even if disproved, make a pop music career almost untenable in North America.
Given all of this, perhaps fathering quadruplets is not the best idea you could be considering right now.
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