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Wednesday, July 14, 2004
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EES PARENT OF THE WEEK: SPECIAL UPDATE
Some of you might see the post and say to yourselves, "Hey, what the fuck? skippy said that he'd only run this once a week!" My only response is that I'm fickle. Very, very fickle. Besides, this story is too special to pass up.
Let's say that you hear about a dad taking his 10 year old daughter to a concert. Romance is in the air and alcohol and muscle relaxants are in his blood. Of course, nature takes its course and somebody gets felt up. If you were betting that it wasn't the dad, you win yet again. I have the smartest readers in all of blogdom.
Now, what if I told you that it was a Hillary Duff concert? That might be a mitigating circumstance, no? Come on, how else could a grown man be expected to tolerate a Duff concert without the aid of goofballs. Does that excuse groping a ten year old? No, but it certainly goes a long way in explaining it.
It gets better. So much better. Here's the hook. Dad is also a recently elected Family Court Judge!
And that, boys and girls is what makes the Honorable Mark Pazuhanich.....
THE ENJOY EVERY SANDWICH PARENT OF THE WEEK
All things being equal, it's really too bad that Judge Pazuhanich never got to hear a case. He'd be funny during say, a custody hearing. I'd love to hear that ruling. "As to the minor daughter, aged 12...so young, so hairless, I wonder if she likes Hillary Duff and seconal? Oh, excuse me. I award custody of the monor daughter to myself. Court is in recess."
Seriously, everyone should read the article. There's a picture of the soon to be former Jurist leaving court with his girlfriend. And the girlfriend is hot. But men are creatures of varied tastes. Women should notice that when their man cheats on them, it's virtually never with anyone who looks like them. It's almost always with a very different type of female. And you don't GET any different from the hot girlfriend than a 10 year old.
When asked about his relationship with his daughter, Pazuhanich was quoted as saying, "She knows I love her and I know she loves me. I think the adage is one day at a time, and that's how I intend to take it."
And there's the rub. I think she knows the precise dimensions in which he loves his daughter. Of course, the courts just HAD to get in the way of the reconcilliation.
"Augello also ordered Pazuhanich to have no contact with his daughter, unless a court allows it, pay a $300 fine and court costs, and refrain from drugs and alcohol - the exact vice Pazuhanich said led to his downfall."
So not only can he not "make things right", he's effectively barred from having any fun at all. And plus, he now has to adjust to a sexual partner with pubic hair.
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