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Wednesday, July 14, 2004
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FROM THE DEPARTMENT OF INTERESTING, BUT ULTIMATELY MEANINGLESS, INFORMATION
As I'm sure you're all aware by now, the presumptive Democratic nominee (called "presumptive" because, hey, there's always a chance Kusinich could have a sudden surge), John Kerry named Gomer Pyle wannabe and temporary Senator John Edwards of North Carolina as his running mate. With Edwards at his side, it now seems inevitable that Kerry will now handily carry the all important "hairspray vote." After all, people like George Hamilton everywhere have been saying for over two years now, "Where have you gone Gary Condit/ A nation turns its lonely eyes to you." Those people again have a home with Kerry/Edwards.
But as I noted at the time, Edwards brings virtually nothing to the table. He only ran for president in the first place because he was virtually certain to get thrown right out of the Senate. He can't even be said to bring trial lawyrs with him. It's not like if Kerry named, say Gephardt, that the American Bar Association would say, "That's IT! Fuck it, we're going with Bush even though he wants to make it impossible for us to make the GNP of Finland from a botched tit-job."
Historically speaking, a nominee - presumtive or otherwise - selects a running mate who, if nothing else, can at least carry his own state. Joseph Lieberman gave Al Gore Conneticutt even as Al Gore lost Tennessee. George H.W. Bush twice brought Ronald Reagan the 36 states where he had established residence. Were it not for Lyndon Johnson bringing Texas to the table, the Kennedy presidency would have been a mathematical impossibility.
Since rumours of Edwards running for anything first surfaced, I've said that Edwards can't bring North Carolina with him. USA Today yesterday verified that. In 2000, President Bush won North Carolina by 13 points, an ass-kicking by anybody's standard. And that was without a "favorite son" on the ticket. Now there is one and Bush leads by.....15 points.
John Kerry is hallucinating is he thinks that adding Goober to the ticket is going to swing the South to him, regardless of how pretty he is. Bill Clinton twice only carried four confederate states, and he was a far, far superior campaigner to Kerry.
As I'm a particularly stupid bastard, there's not much in life that I'm certain of. But I can tell you this, if Senator Kerry keeps making strategic decisions that make no sense at all, he will blow what should have been a reasonable chance of winning this election. Make no mistake about it, President Bush will not win this election as Senator Kerry will lose it. The sad fact of the matter is this, Kerry didn't even beat Howard Dean. Dean destroyed himself and Kerry was lucky enough to be in the neighbourhood to pick up the pieces.
But Bush/Cheney '04 is assuredly no Dean for America.
It'll be fun to watch though.
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