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Sunday, July 04, 2004
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A JURY OF YOUR PEERS
Most democratic societies guarantee a trial by a jury of your peers when you fuck up. But democratic societies like fucking with you. They mean a jury of people who live in the same general area as you do. Unless the people prosecuting you are stupid and give you a jury of bitter, resentful people who hate the power structure that's after you more than the loathe the fact that you have nothing in common with them, that's ALL you get. And only Othello..I mean, Orenthal James Simpson is that lucky.
Now think about all the unkind things that you've said about your neighbours. Do you really think that you're so fucking special? You think they haven't said the same shit about you? You know that kid across the street with the obnoxious Camero? What do you think you'd do if you were on his jury. Now, what do you think his opinion of your lawnmower is? Starting to see my theory?
Basically, what I'm saying is, is that if you get a jury of your true peers.....you're FUCKED!
That's why stories like this make me smile.
I'd LOVE to be in a jury room with this cat. I've been on a jury. But Canadian law precludes me from discussing deliberations. I could actually go to the clink for two years if I did. Canada has interesting views on free speech. Now you know why I have to resort to getting fucked in the ass on government time to get a book deal. I can't get one from jury duty. What I'm pretty sure I can say is this, that poor girl we passed judgement on had some boring fucking peers!
But it would've been so much different if that guy was on the jury. I think he could've had some original insights. "You people are morons!" I imagine him screaming in the cramped jury room, "All she did was cheat on welfare by accepting a student loan. I took out my girlfriends EYES with a motherfucking steak knife! And where am I? on her jury! You folks must be crazier than I am!"
It'll certainly teach most jurors more about their civic duty than they're currently learning, you can bet your ass on that.
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