|
|
Wednesday, July 21, 2004
|
|
LESSON OF THE WEEK
As you've probably figured out by now, I'm a cat who likes to learn stuff. You've also probably figured out that, given how monumentally stupid I am, this doesn't happen as frequently as I'd like.
There is one thing that I've known since childhood: horny retards are sexy. Anyone who has read the ending of Of Mice and Men over and over again can tell you this. But what I didn't know is that sexy retard fun has a home.
The great state of Michigan is the home of feeble-minded sexual contact. I think they're actually considering changing the state motto. First there are the terribly wrong and incredibly harrowing professional trials of Big Boobs McGee. Apparently, she is required to massage a moron as a condition of employment. Some have pointed out the potential illegality of this, but very few have pointed out just how erotic it is. 0phie is very, very hot.
Then there's this story. If Governor Granholm has the political skills that I think that she does, she will immediately order a change in the state's tourism advertising. She could have ads cut with Billy Bob Thorton reprising his Sling Blade charcter, standing there right next to 0phelia. It could be fantastic.
And on top of it all, I now know where my destiny lay. I shall move to Michigan forthwith, if only to finally get rid of the fucking counter on the upper right.
After all, if I can't make it anywhere, I can make it there.
|
|
|
| |
