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Friday, August 27, 2004
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FROM THE DEPARTMENT OF "I WANNA BE DEAD/ IN BED, PLEASE KILL ME/ 'CAUSE THAT WOULD THRILL ME"
The Ultimate Death Survey
What do you think happens after you die? Nothing.
Do you believe in heaven? No.
Do you believe in hell? No.
Do you think you will be judged after you die? No, I hardly view my sweet mortality as an episode of American Idol.
How many people would attend your funeral? None.
Would you rather that people cry or laugh at your funeral? Neither. With any luck, they'll never find my body.
What's better? A shot in the head or downing pills? Either will do. Do you have a gun or pills?
What should be written on your tombstone? Nothing.
Would you rather die childless or divorced? Both. Neither. Whatever. So long as I'm alone.
Do you want to die in the morning, afternoon, or night? Doesn't matter, so long as it's soon.
If you had a million dollars to leave, who would you leave it to? Charity.
What kind of flowers do you want at your funeral? None.
On your deathbed, which moment will you most remember? None.
Have you ever watched someone die? Yes.
What's the most gruesome death you can imagine? Bleeding out from a severed cock.
How often do you think about death? Every 20 minutes.
Is fear of dying your number one fear? No, the fear of not dying is.
Do you believe in reincarnation? No. Although if life really wants to fuck me, it'll happen.
Have you ever wished someone you loved were dead? No, but I do wish it on those I hate.
Do you consider life short or long? Long. Far, far too long.
Do you think you have a soul? No. I make Al Gore look like James Brown.
Assisted suicide for a terminally ill person is: Cool, and to be encouraged.
If you were cremated, where would you like your ashes? Thrown in the garbage.
Would you choose to be immortal, if you could be? Fuck, no!
Take The Ultimate Death Survey
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