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Friday, August 27, 2004
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FROM THE DEPARTMENT OF SWEETNESS AND LIGHT
Ever feel alone? Ever feel like there's no one left to turn to? Like there's no one with your best interests at heart? Well, if you live in Orlando, Florida, be not afraid! The courts are your new best friend.
A judicial panel has charged an Orange County judge with chastising a deputy sheriff who had a child out of wedlock, saying she was a "disgrace to society," "had no morals," and her child was "a bastard."
See?
Judge Alan C. Todd, a judge for 14 years, was charged with making a series of "rude, intemperate and demeaning comments," according to the six-page notice released Wednesday by the state Judicial Qualifications Commission.
After discovering in January that Orange County Deputy Sheriff Mindy Hood was an unwed mother, Todd told her "it is acceptable for a male to have sex before marriage, but if a female does so, she is not respected and considered a tramp," according to the notice.
He also said Hood's family "obviously had no morals," the notice said.
Firstly, I had never seen a ruling from the bench like this outside of Quebec before. I'm shocked that people who actually speak English this way can issue such a ruling.
And there's another logical flaw here. If unmarried men can fuck around, but unmarried women can't.....what does that mean? Does it mean that Kilgore and I were right all along? Could this, seemingly conservative Republican jurist be recommending adultery?
Ye fucking Christ and all the dwarves in Disneyland! I've been a-waiting this day!
Chandler Muller, the judge's attorney, said he couldn't comment on the specific allegations because of judicial rules, but said Todd was a respected judge with the full support of the legal community.
In all fairness, I need to point out that Orlando is a "community" where someone named "Goofy" is a rather prominent citizen.
According to the notice, Todd also referred to another woman deputy as a "deputite" and said the only "real deputy" assigned to his courtroom was a man, the notice said.
So.....Judge Todd appears to be a "man's man." Am I the only one seeing a pattern here?
Todd asked detectives in 2001 if a female courthouse administrator "was taking good care of the detectives." The detectives said she was and he responded, "Well, that's what the men's bathroom wall says ... I just wanted to make sure," the notice said.
Maybe I was wrong with my last remark. Perhaps he is a ladies man. Although, if he is he's far better at the "I saw your name on the bathroom wall" approach to romance than I am.
The notice also alleges that Todd said: Baptists "think there is no sin in the world and have no morals"; Pastors and priests shouldn't marry a woman that has children out of wedlock or couple that has been living together, because those actions are morally wrong and sinful; and children raised in single-family homes normally go to jail as adults.
Obviously, Judge Todd has no idea what constitutes a fun date. Perhaps he could still take this quizzie, we'd learn that he's a dynsfunctional gay care bear, too.
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