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Friday, August 20, 2004
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SADDAM BEARD UPDATE: WEEK 3
All right, I acknowledge that at this point I look more like the homeless guy who stands on the corner and screams about the apocolypse than a merciless, deposed tyrant. But these things take time.
I've also decided to abandon shaving my neck, throat or cheekbones. It's a pain in the ass it takes away from time that could be better spent drinking. I figure in about two more weeks women everywhere will be sticking to the chairs when they see my beauty on their monitors.
You're probably thinking that proper fallen dictator facial hair takes much longer than five weeks to cultivate. And you would be right, it does. For lesser men. You see, I ooze masculinity. As a matter of fact, I just had to clean some out of my navel before it dried.
And for those of you who might be worried, don't be. My testicles are staying Mussolini. I have a very diverse interest in despots.
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