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Sunday, August 15, 2004
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skippy's DIET SPECIAL
So, just for shits and giggles, I just weighed myself. As of 6:40AM this morning, I weigh all of 150 pounds. I think I gained a couple of pounds. Christ, I'm a pig.
This ruins what I was hoping would be a special diet plan for all of my readers. After all, I am here to help. However, since I'm still georgeous, I'll share my secret with you.
In the last week, I've eaten 3 pieces of Kentucky Fried Chicken and two boneless porkchops. Oh, I think I may have abbout 20 Pringles when I woke up yesterday afternoon.
I also haven't slept for more than four hours at a time in a week. This will also do wonders for your figure.
But a man can't life off of three pieces of chicken and two pork chops alone. That's where the booze and drugs come in. In that same period, I've consumed some 70 beers, 26 ounces of Jack Daniels ans probably two litres of red wine. Of course, this is in addition to about 60 acetomineophine with codiene, 14 Nytol and about 15 doses of something else that is generally considered leathal if you're a pussy.
I'm thinking of writing my own diet book. I understand there's money in that.
I'm thinking that when I finally do croak, I'm donating my body to medical science. There has to be a reason that I'm so fucking resilient that I almost refuse to die.
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