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Saturday, November 06, 2004
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NOTE TO DISAPPOINTED DEMOCRATS
Please don't think that this is a serious option for you.
The number of U.S. citizens visiting Canada's main immigration Web site has shot up six-fold as Americans flirt with the idea of abandoning their homeland after President George W. Bush's election win this week.
"When we looked at the first day after the election, November 3, our Web site hit a new high, almost double the previous record high," immigration ministry spokeswoman Maria Iadinardi said on Friday.
On an average day some 20,000 people in the United States log onto the Web site, www.cic.gc.ca -- a figure which rocketed to 115,016 on Wednesday. The number of U.S. visits settled down to 65,803 on Thursday, still well above the norm.
Seriously, it makes you look like putzes. Also, I have more than my share of disillusioned liberals that I have to deal with on a daily basis already.
Bush's victory sparked speculation that disconsolate Democrats and others might decide to start a new life in Canada, a land that tilts more to the left than the United States.
Ummmm, "tilts" is a mild way of describing Canadian political attitudes. The Leaning Tower of Pisa tilts. We lean somewhat more dramatically. It's always fun when American liberals come here expecting to be welcomed as kindered spirits, only to be spit on as Nazis by our, decidedly more hard-core socialists, though. I usually get a good chuckle out of that.
Oh, did I mention that a member of our governing party routinely refers to Americans as "bastards" and "idiots", too? Oh, it also took the Prime Minister nearly two years to "condemn" those remarks as "innappropriate."
But please spare the sob stories.
Asked whether an applicant would be looked upon more sympathetically if they claimed to be a sad Democrat seeking to escape four more years of Bush, Iadinardi replied: "There would be no weight given to statements of feelings."
Oh yeah, our immigration officials would not be sympathetic to that at all.
There are two reasons for this. Firstly, you know those places like Congo and Bosnia, where all that nasty genocide you find so distasteful happens? Well, we don't just tut-tut it on television....we let those people come to Canada. Shit, being a battered wife is grounds for refugee status in Canada. John Kerry's failure to win the presidency before he lost it (or whatever the fuck you people were expecting to happen) will not cut it.
The second reason is that there are lots of al-Qaeda wishing to start cells in Montreal and you'll have to get in line behind them. We REALLY don't Osama pissed at us.
I guess what I'm saying is this; suck it up, you fucking babies. You think that Republicans were thrilled when Presidents Roosevelt, Truman, Kennedy, Johnson, Carter and Clinton got elected? No, no they weren't. Did they go somewhere more hospitable to their political views, like Germany? Nope. Here's what they did: they got organized, reformed their party and won massives landslides in 6 of those 14 elections. You lose ONE because you nominated the worst non-pedophile candidate in human history and you want to quit and flee in expatriatism? Fuck you! You're pathetic and weak. Our winter would annhiliate the fucking lot of you.
France, on the other hand.....
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