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Thursday, November 18, 2004
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OL'DIRTY BASTARD, WE HARDLY KNEW YE
I still can't believe that Russell Jones, aka Ol' Dirty Bastard, aka Dirk McGirt, aka Osirian, aka Big Baby Jesus....is dead.
Okay, sure I believe it. The guy did have really interesting hobbies. Chief amoung those was cocaine. ODB loved cocaine the way that Robert Downey Jr. and Scott Weiland loved heroin. It was the love of his life. This is particularly important when you consider that ODB was rumored to have sired 13 children by as many as 9 women. At the time of his death, ODB was with his 15 year old son. Keep in mind that we don't even know that that kid was the eldest. And Jones was two days short of his 36th brthday when he karked it.
So consider this; ODB had 13 kids by 9 different women by the time he was 35. That demostrates an impressive love of poontang. Perhaps even more impressive than my own.
Yet, he loved cocaine more. That's devotion.
The former Big Baby Jesus had an interesting relationship with law enforcement. At one point, he was wanted in THREE different states. In California, he was wanted for being a felon in body armour and possesion of cocaine. In New York, another coke rap. The best warrant was in Georgia, where he was accused of stealing a pair of sneakers.
ODB took the path of least resistance and plead to coke possesion in California and was sentenced to rehab. Rehab, as it is famous for being, was unpopular with Jones. He broke out. This, of course, triggered a nation wide warrant. The take down occurred, improbably, when ODB actually showed up on stage at a Wu Tang Clan show in Philadelphia.
Rusty was sentanced to four years and did two.
Yikes!
Upon his relase, Rusty, as a condition of his parole, had to live with his mother. The battalion of his children visiting must have been SO much fun.
But I hope that Ol' Dirty Bastard is remembered for the entertainment he selflessly gave us all. If anything, ODB was a better show when he wasn't getting paid. Here are a few examples;
1) Taking a limo and a MTV camera crew to collect food stamps. And gettng them.
2) Interrupting Shawn Colvin's acceptance speech at the Grammy's to express his disdain that that the Wu Tang Clan didn't win for Best Rap Record. Dirty was so convinced of a win that he declared that he even bought a suit that "costed a lot of monies." It was easily one of the top 30 moments in television history.
3) Holding a press conference to announce that he was suing the NYPD for false arrest. During his intercourse with the Fourth Estate, OBD announced that "Wu Tang is for the childrens and shit" and, when asked why he had been wearing body armour, although he was a convicted felon, responded "Because I been shot twice, and I'm scared.....scared like a motherfucker."
Jones began his resopnse to a female reporter's query by saying "you know, you a cutey-pie."
When it was ponted out that ODB was using far to many profanities for his story to told on the nightly news, he responded by saying, "shit, I gotta watch my mouth."
He then declared his patriotism by saying that he was "a statue od liberty moutherfucker."
Ol' Dirty Bastard, we all miss you.
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