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Thursday, February 03, 2005
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LIVE FREE OR....DON'T. THOUGHTS ON THE STATE OF THE UNION ADDRESS
Last night, the President of the United States fufilled this constitutionally mandated task, "He shall from time to time give to the Congress Information of the State of the Union (Article 2, Section 3.) " In other words, if you're pissed that you missed "Everybody Loves Raymond", blame the founding fathers.
As I was working, I didn't get to see the speech live. Nor did I get to see it drunk, as is my usual practice. But I did tape it and, yes, I DO know just how sexy this makes me. Did you know that if watch something sober, it makes it much easier to write about the following day? Go figure. I should look into this in other areas of my life. Nahhhhh, alcohol gives me the only pleasure in my life these days. If there's a choice to be made between my blog and my Jesus Juice, you folks lose. Sorry.
Anyhow, the President gave a reasonably impressive speech. Particularly when you consider that English is his second language. It was, however, far more impressive in its delivery than in particulars. This was a problem with President Clinton's speeches, too. You'd listen to them and say "What a beautiful speech." But if you went back and read them, you'd quickly realize that he didn't actually SAY anything.
But let's review the text, shall we? The entire speech can be found here. As this is a fairly long speech, I'll only hit the really good parts.
As a new Congress gathers, all of us in the elected branches of government share a great privilege: We've been placed in office by the votes of the people we serve. And tonight that is a privilege we share with newly-elected leaders of Afghanistan, the Palestinian Territories, Ukraine, and a free and sovereign Iraq.
I think the President forgot that Hugo Chavez and Jean - Bertrand Aristide were elected, too. That one is a Marxist and the other, a psychopath, is besides the point. They actually did win elections.
America's prosperity requires restraining the spending appetite of the federal government. I welcome the bipartisan enthusiasm for spending discipline. I will send you a budget that holds the growth of discretionary spending below inflation, makes tax relief permanent, and stays on track to cut the deficit in half by 2009. (Applause.) My budget substantially reduces or eliminates more than 150 government programs that are not getting results, or duplicate current efforts, or do not fulfill essential priorities. The principle here is clear: Taxpayer dollars must be spent wisely, or not at all.
I could point out here that President Bush IS the federal government, and that he has the largest "spending appetite" of any president since Lyndon Johnson, but I've done that before, so I won't now.
The part I'm most interested in is this part; "substantially reduces or eliminates more than 150 government programs that are not getting results, or duplicate current efforts, or do not fulfill essential priorities." Could that mean eliminating that ridiculous ethanol subsidy. That's retarded, but because people with presidential ambitions (of whom there 354 in the room last night) can't afford to piss off the caucus voters of Iowa, ethanol always gets more money each year. Cutting that one subsidy is a pretty good way of demonstrating that you're serious about controlling discretionary spending.
So, let's skip ahead a little and see if ethanol gets mentioned again, k?
And my budget provides strong funding for leading-edge technology -- from hydrogen-fueled cars, to clean coal, to renewable sources such as ethanol
D'OH! Okay, I don't suppose that he's all that serious. Since welfare for the farmers is safe, it's a safe bet that all of you single mothers out there are FUCKED!
To make our economy stronger and more dynamic, we must prepare a rising generation to fill the jobs of the 21st century. Under the No Child Left Behind Act, standards are higher, test scores are on the rise, and we're closing the achievement gap for minority students. Now we must demand better results from our high schools, so every high school diploma is a ticket to success. We will help an additional 200,000 workers to get training for a better career, by reforming our job training system and strengthening America's community colleges. And we'll make it easier for Americans to afford a college education, by increasing the size of Pell Grants.
And since the Republicans were supposed to have ended the congressional practice known as "unfunded mandates" back in 1995, the President basically federalized education. Let's hear it for smaller government!
To make our economy stronger and more competitive, America must reward, not punish, the efforts and dreams of entrepreneurs. Small business is the path of advancement, especially for women and minorities, so we must free small businesses from needless regulation and protect honest job-creators from junk lawsuits. (Applause.) Justice is distorted, and our economy is held back by irresponsible class-actions and frivolous asbestos claims -- and I urge Congress to pass legal reforms this year.
"And since I can't carpet bomb the American Bar Association, or advocate the assassination of all lawyers, I just want to prevent them from making a living. In other words, keep the coffee away from your crotch, grandma!"
All these proposals are essential to expand this economy and add new jobs -- but they are just the beginning of our duty. To build the prosperity of future generations, we must update institutions that were created to meet the needs of an earlier time. Year after year, Americans are burdened by an archaic, incoherent federal tax code. I've appointed a bipartisan panel to examine the tax code from top to bottom. And when their recommendations are delivered, you and I will work together to give this nation a tax code that is pro-growth, easy to understand, and fair to all.
There still IS a tax code? Who knew?
America's immigration system is also outdated -- unsuited to the needs of our economy and to the values of our country. We should not be content with laws that punish hardworking people who want only to provide for their families, and deny businesses willing workers, and invite chaos at our border. It is time for an immigration policy that permits temporary guest workers to fill jobs Americans will not take, that rejects amnesty, that tells us who is entering and leaving our country, and that closes the border to drug dealers and terrorists.
I couldn't agree more with this part. Anybody looking to hire a Canadian hack blogger to amuse them? Did I mention that I give really good head?
And if you want to keep drug dealers out of the country, all that needs to be done is to end the retarded War on Drugs. Legalize them all, and drug dealers are screwed.
Then we come to the Social Security part of the speech. P.J O'Rourke once referred to Social Security as the biggest ponzi scheme in human history and I'd be hard pressed to disagree. But like etanol, it's an issue fraught with danger. Washington is litterally soaked in the blood of politicians who mention the program with less than the utmost reverance.
And this is where we learn more about the poltical brilliance of President Bush. He employs a tactic so sneaky and effective that you have to admire it.
Fixing Social Security permanently will require an open, candid review of the options. Some have suggested limiting benefits for wealthy retirees. Former Congressman Tim Penny has raised the possibility of indexing benefits to prices rather than wages. During the 1990s, my predecessor, President Clinton, spoke of increasing the retirement age. Former Senator John Breaux suggested discouraging early collection of Social Security benefits. The late Senator Daniel Patrick Moynihan recommended changing the way benefits are calculated. All these ideas are on the table.
You'll notice that every single person advocating reform in the above paragraph is a Democrat. The President has said, "Look, Democrats want this, too." You'll also notice that every name is preceded by the phrase "former" or "late." All of his advocates are either dead or out of politics and, therefore, needn't face the wrath of uppity seniors - who tend to be the votingest motherfuckers on Earth.
I'm simply in awe of this move. It's tactically brilliant and impossibe to refute. This is why I always knew that the President would be re-elected. The Democrats don't have a bench this skilled.
As we fix Social Security, we also have the responsibility to make the system a better deal for younger workers. And the best way to reach that goal is through voluntary personal retirement accounts. (Applause.) Here is how the idea works. Right now, a set portion of the money you earn is taken out of your paycheck to pay for the Social Security benefits of today's retirees. If you're a younger worker, I believe you should be able to set aside part of that money in your own retirement account, so you can build a nest egg for your own future.
Here's why the personal accounts are a better deal. Your money will grow, over time, at a greater rate than anything the current system can deliver -- and your account will provide money for retirement over and above the check you will receive from Social Security. In addition, you'll be able to pass along the money that accumulates in your personal account, if you wish, to your children and -- or grandchildren. And best of all, the money in the account is yours, and the government can never take it away. (Applause.)
The goal here is greater security in retirement, so we will set careful guidelines for personal accounts. We'll make sure the money can only go into a conservative mix of bonds and stock funds. We'll make sure that your earnings are not eaten up by hidden Wall Street fees. We'll make sure there are good options to protect your investments from sudden market swings on the eve of your retirement. We'll make sure a personal account cannot be emptied out all at once, but rather paid out over time, as an addition to traditional Social Security benefits. And we'll make sure this plan is fiscally responsible, by starting personal retirement accounts gradually, and raising the yearly limits on contributions over time, eventually permitting all workers to set aside four percentage points of their payroll taxes in their accounts.
I don't want to minimize this proposal, because it IS interesting. It might aso be illegal. It's certainly of questionable wisdom in one regard.
You see, under the President's plan, you don't get to choose whatever investment you want. The government would have a list of investment vehicles for you to choose from. Therefore, the government would essentially be rating stocks and bonds. This is the government manipulating the markets, which is something that Republicans have traditionally been against.
Then there's the question of including the stock of companies doing business with the government. That could be intrepreted as an unfair advantage. At worst, it could be the end of the free market as we currently know it.
And let's quickly address the "the government can never take it away" statement. It's silly. The Congress that giveth can taketh away whenever it friggin' well feels like it.
Oh, and the immediate transition costs are about a TRILLION dollars.
Our second great responsibility to our children and grandchildren is to honor and to pass along the values that sustain a free society. So many of my generation, after a long journey, have come home to family and faith, and are determined to bring up responsible, moral children. Government is not the source of these values, but government should never undermine them.
Because marriage is a sacred institution and the foundation of society, it should not be re-defined by activist judges. For the good of families, children, and society, I support a constitutional amendment to protect the institution of marriage.
He just doesn't plan on doing anything to get it. The President has always known that the FMA was too ridiculous to ever pass the Senate. Chances are that it'll NEVER be fillibuster-proof. But it was a great electioneering tool. Having the gay m issue on the Ohio ballot was probably enough to cost Kerry the state, and therefore the election.
The President probably figured that once the election was over, so was the issue. But he didn't count on how passionate the religious right is on the issue. They're used to getting fucked over on abortion and they went crazy when they learned that they'd be fucked over on this, too.
So the President will continue making all the right noises. Just don't expect any arm twisting in the Senate or something equally crazy.
Because courts must always deliver impartial justice, judges have a duty to faithfully interpret the law, not legislate from the bench. (Applause.) As President, I have a constitutional responsibility to nominate men and women who understand the role of courts in our democracy, and are well-qualified to serve on the bench -- and I have done so. (Applause.) The Constitution also gives the Senate a responsibility: Every judicial nominee deserves an up or down vote.
I agree yet again. It doesn't mean that it'll ever happen.
Because one of the deepest values of our country is compassion, we must never turn away from any citizen who feels isolated from the opportunities of America. Our government will continue to support faith-based and community groups that bring hope to harsh places. Now we need to focus on giving young people, especially young men in our cities, better options than apathy, or gangs, or jail. Tonight I propose a three-year initiative to help organizations keep young people out of gangs, and show young men an ideal of manhood that respects women and rejects violence. Taking on gang life will be one part of a broader outreach to at-risk youth, which involves parents and pastors, coaches and community leaders, in programs ranging from literacy to sports. And I am proud that the leader of this nationwide effort will be our First Lady, Laura Bush.
"Come on homies, why join the Crips when you can join the Nation of Islam? Under my program, you won't even have to wait until you get to prison before recieving your federally funded bowtie."
And I can't be the only one to think that sending a little white girl to straighten out gangbangers is hilarious, can I?
Because HIV/AIDS brings suffering and fear into so many lives, I ask you to reauthorize the Ryan White Act to encourage prevention, and provide care and treatment to the victims of that disease. And as we update this important law, we must focus our efforts on fellow citizens with the highest rates of new cases, African American men and women.
"Notice how I'm ignoring the fags, who are still the biggest HIV/AIDS block? Well, since by denying them marriage rights, I'm actually promoting homosexual promiscuity, I look bad. But if I save black people, it'll be swell. Besides, blacks hate gays. I win again!"
Because one of the main sources of our national unity is our belief in equal justice, we need to make sure Americans of all races and backgrounds have confidence in the system that provides justice. In America we must make doubly sure no person is held to account for a crime he or she did not commit -- so we are dramatically expanding the use of DNA evidence to prevent wrongful conviction. Soon I will send to Congress a proposal to fund special training for defense counsel in capital cases, because people on trial for their lives must have competent lawyers by their side.
Of course, getting rid of mandatory minimums for drug offenders and lifting the limitations on the federal appeals system might help too, but neither polls well.
Then the speech drifts off into foreign policy, most of which I addressed in my Inaugural post. I might come back to it later, or I might not.
It's being so finnicky that makes me so adorable.
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