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Tuesday, April 08, 2008
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 THE TELLTALE HEART
Let's say that you got really, really sick and knew as a matter of certainty that you would drop dead unless you received a heart transplant. Let's further assume that an organ became available as the result of a suicide. You's probably feel a pang of guilt because, let's face it, you're a pussy. I probably would have killed the dude myself and ripped his heart out, but that's just me. I'm what you call a "Type A personality."
Sonny Graham of Vidalia, Ga., seemed to have it all. When he began to suffer from congestive heart failure, He got a brand new heart - no muss, no fuss. I'm told that it usually doesn't work out that way.
Mr. Graham got his life back because Terry Cottle couldn't stand his and blew himself away. The next time the Goddamn Liberal Media tells you that there are no winners in a suicide, I suggest that you write a letter to the editor singing them the ballad of Terry Cottle and Sonny Graham.
As it happens, Sonny didn't just get Terry's heart, he got his wife , too. Hey, it happens. The transplanted heart wants what the transplanted hear wants.
But stories like this don't always end well. Granted, "not ending well" is not to say that they don't get interesting. And this fable of the telltale heart is better than even Edgar Allan Poe's.
A man who received a heart transplant 12 years ago and later married the donor's widow died the same way the donor did, authorities said: of a self-inflicted gunshot wound.
No foul play was suspected in 69-year-old Sonny Graham's death at his Vidalia, Ga., home, investigators said. He was found Tuesday in a utility building in his backyard with a single shotgun wound to the throat, said Greg Harvey, a special agent with the Georgia Bureau of Investigation. Now, if you're anything like me, you have a number of questions about this story. Is it possible that Terry Cottle's heart carried some kind of suicide gene, that ended Sonny Graham's life even as it saved it? I'm not ruling that out as a scientific possibility and neither should you. After all, who's wearing the lab coat here?
But Sonny and Terry had more than a heart in common. They also shared a spouse. What do you suppose the odds are of one woman losing two husbands to suicide? I'd suggest that they aren't particularly good.
If you feel that you absolutely need a heart transplant, you would probably do well to inquire into the donor's demise. Heart surgery hurts like a motherfucker, and you probably don't want to go through all of the trauma if you're just going to put a gun in your mouth afterward.
And under no circumstances should you marry Cheryl Cottle-Graham. It appears that no good can come of it.
Better safe than sorry.
Easy Listening Recommendation of the Day: Heart Shaped Box By: Nirvana From: In Utero
PermalinkLabels: She Blinded Me With Science
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