If you're looking for a place that embodies everything that is wrong with the human spirit, you probably aren't going to do better than California. It is a land that has been made ungovernable by Hiram Johnson'ssoftheaded vision of popular democracy, and allows brainless shills like Barbara Boxer not only to walk about unmolested, but to prosper.
California is the world's seventh largest economy, and its leading export is pretending. So important is the vapid emptiness of Hollywood to California that the state has been governed by not one, but two actors.
Despite its enormous wealth, the state of California hemorrhages money in ways that President Bush probably masturbates at night thinking about.
Way back in 1978 the retard voters of California passed something called Proposition 13, which inhibited the ability of the county and state governments to raise revenue to a degree that no right-thinking person would ever agree to. But that didn't stop the worthless jackals of the Land of Sunshine from demanding increased services from its government.
Oh no, at the same that revenue was restricted, discretionary spending went through the fucking ceiling. Idiot Californians couldn't stop bitching about their need of dumb things like schools and police. And artificially low property taxes have only served to make California real estate prohibitively expensive for almost everyone on the planet.
Proposition 13 was little more than a microcosm of what the presidency of George W. Bush would eventually embody; limited revenue, relentless spending and endless debt.
California is to responsible democracy what 2 Girls, 1 Cup (link truly revolting and stunningly NSFW) is to love. And the reaction of everyone who sees it is pretty much the same. (YouTube video below is also NSFW.)
But California is notable for one thing. It produces the best goddamned pornography in the world. Some gentleman prefer European porn, but I find that the women aren't as cute and the abundance of cock is disturbing. Also, things that aren't in English bother me. Then there's Japanese porn, but the kind of person who gets off on watching a girl stuff an eel inside of herself is the kind of person who votes for Proposition 13.
That's why American porn is the greatest porn in the world. They find the Girl Next Door and ensure that she gets thoroughly hosed down in seed, but they don't get all weird about it, like the Europeans and Japanese do. With American porn, you can jack off seventeen times an hour without feeling guilty about it later. That's more important than I can tell you. Guilt is an emotion best left for sexual encounters with another person.
Simply put, Californians are to pornography what the Swiss are to watches and chocolate. For that reason, the pornography industry makes approximately $3 billion a year more than mainstream Hollywood.
California state lawmakers are considering an unusual idea to solve the state's huge budget shortfall: Tax pornography.
The idea was proposed by a state assemblyman, and would impose a 25 percent tax on the production and sales of pornographic videos -- the vast majority of which are made in southern California.
The ultimate "sin tax." Cute idea.
A 25% tax should never be recognised as remedy to a government's budget imbalance. It's punitive, pure and simple. Imagine if you will such a proposal to tax any other industry at that rate. Republicans and conservatives would go batshit fucking insane because of the possibility that the industry would move or jobs would be lost. Christ, the state of California doesn't even tax cigarettes at that high a rate.
This isn't new or exceptionally original. The state of California and the local governments have been trying to shut down its pornography industry for decades. The LAPD was so intent on it in the early 70s that the industry relocated to the more tolerant San Francisco. It was only after the Supreme Court's decision in Miller v. California (1973)that they started to cool the fuck out.
Since Miller, successful obscenity prosecutions have been few and far between and guess what? The industry pumps approximately $13 billion dollars a year into the economy.
It is unknown, however, how seriously lawmakers will take the idea or how the porn business would deal with the new tax. It is likely, though, that porn-makers would simply pass the cost along to consumers by making pornographic materials more expensive.
However, many economists believe that pornography is an industry with inelastic demand -- meaning market conditions typically don't affect consumers' desire for the product. In other words, it is believed that most porn consumers would continue to buy regardless of how much it cost.
As always, "many economists" are wrong. Not about "inelastic demand," mind you. People like to watch hot girls fuck far too much to let something as trivial as taxes stop them. The taxes could be even higher if assfucking is involved. Not too very long ago, pre-Miller, obscenity laws were structured in such a law that jail time was a very real possibility. A stupid 25% tax isn't going to change that.
What the economists fail to recognize is that the proliferation of large computer hard drives and cheap broadband has made buying pornography almost redundant. I haven't physically bought pornography in almost two years, but I have over 200 gigs of it on this computer as I write this. The proposed California tax would only hasten the day that everyone does.
There's another small problem with this tax. In so far as the industry is becoming increasingly digital and being distributed on the Internet, just as Al Gore intended, there is a decreasing share of the market that produces and sells in the traditional sense. Internet sales are currently exempt from the sales tax in the United States.
And that's what this might be, a way for California to start taxing the Internet. Because most people are remarkably stupid, they aren't going to object to a "porn tax." But if you consider that an increasing percentage of the market is web-based, the idea that net sales are going to have to be taxed is inescapable. And once you acclimate the public to the idea of Internet taxes, they become much easier to expand.
And then there's another response that the industry can take: they can pack up and leave California entirely. Remember, when the LAPD became too bothersome, it decamped to San Francisco. Nevada happens to be much closer to Los Angeles than San Francisco is, and already has legalized prostitution. You think they're going to freak out over the making of fuck movies in Clark County? I don't.
That would leave California without a goose or a golden egg. And you'd think that those assholes would know that already. Wasn't a big part of Governor Schwarzenegger's platform during the 2003 recall election the loss of California's jobs and industries due to heavy taxation and regulation? The problem is that the governor and legislature couldn't or wouldn't stop spending money and Prop 13 limits their ability to raise property or sales taxes. So they rely far too much on "sin taxes."
I have both philosophical and practical problems with sin taxes. First, I do not believe that the tax code is the proper instrument of behavior modification. Taxes should serve as a revenue raising device to fund the building of roads and killing of brown people, no more, no less.
Second, once the government has a fiscal interest in an activity, they necessarily have to allow it to flourish, thus negating the stated purpose of the tax. If the government was truly interested in stopping, say, smoking, they'd eliminate the subsidy to tobacco farmers. Get rid of those and let the market decide. Condemning something you profit from is a morally tenuous position. But you can't subsidize on one end, tax on the other, and still pretend that you're trying to limit the activity itself. Well, I guess that you can. Governments have been doing it for forty years now.
Then there's the obvious question of whether the state of California really wants to have a fiscal stake in Briana Banks' continued ability to take a rock hard cock in her dumper. If so, shouldn't Arnold Schwarzenegger be the one pulling her hair? How about Cruz Bustamante? He could use a job.
Frankly, I think that pornography should be exempt from taxation the way that educational materials like books are. There's just so much you can learn from porn that you can't learn anywhere else. Most women will never sit down and teach you how to lick their cooters in a way that'll make their heads explode, but Janine Lindemulderor Felicia will be more than happy to show you. Any number of women will tell you that sodomy "hurts too much," but I've seen Nikita Denise take two cocks in her ass at the same time, so I know that most women are irredeemable liars. Or Nikita Denise is a super hero.
Peter North should be personally exempt from all taxes; federal, state and local, for the important public service he provides in hosing bitches down with his copious cumshots. On the other hand, I resent that he has a wang that makes mine look even more like an infant's than it already does, so I'm conflicted.
Having said all of that, I'm actually surprised that the Bush Justice Department, in their mindless and unconstitutional decency crusade, hasn't proposed using the tax code to shut down the pornography industry in its totality. Since the Sixth Circuit Court of Appeals has found the monstrous and wrong 2257 regulations unconstitutional, the administration is running out of criminal enforcement ammunition in their war on fun.
However, if the tax code were used, it would circumvent any First Amendment challenge. The Constitution is explicit in saying that Congress can tax anything it wants. It's right there in Article I. While taxation would have the effect of stifling free speech, that wouldn't be the stated purpose of the levy. Therefore, it would almost certainly survive any constitutional challenge.
I'm so much smarter than the Bush administration. Now I just have to figure out why I'm giving those ghouls ideas. I should really stop doing that.
Easy Listening Recommendation of the Day: The Girls of Porn By: Mr. Bungle From: Mr. Bungle
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What People Are Saying About skippy
"hands down, Canada's most underrated blog" Damian Penny, The Undisputed Dean of Canadian Political Bloggers. Posted at Daimnation , Saturday October 21, 2006
"You can count on “Skippy” to make you think in different ways about familiar issues. You can also depend on him to be rude, offensive, and outrageous – if you're offended by completely uninhibited sexual imagery (and imagination!), don't read Skippy – but your prudery will keep you from an often interesting perspective." Posted On: Jamulblog, July 12, 2007
"Your Maximum Leader is beginning to think that the less he posts, the better Skippy’s political posts are. Indeed, your Maximum Leader even thought (just a few short moments ago) that if your Maximum Leader just stopped blogging all together would Skippy just keep on writing enough good material for two blogs? (Admittedly one of those blogs would be an X-rated social commentary/diary site and the second a remarkably well-informed and insightful political commentary site…)" Posted On: Naked Villainy, September 18, 2007
"I love your writing. few could pull off sarcastic humor and self-loathing like you do. You've turned self-disgust
into an art form." Posted By:Ophelia July 19, 2003
"hahaha um, not funny" Posted By: Ophelia July 17, 2003
"This is not fucking funny." Posted By: Bee August 21, 2003
"I join Bee in saying that this isn''t funny AT ALL. jesus christ, Skippy." Posted By: Ophelia August 23,
2003
"You are obiviously being kept down by the Mud People." Posted By: DrReverend August 21, 2003
"I''ll give you $50.00 if you kill yourself." Posted By: DrReverend August 19, 2003
"Last time I read this blog." Posted By: Dave, October 24, 2003
"I think you should stop talking about killing yourself and ACTUALLY kill yourself. For fuck's sake, everybody is
tired of hearing about how you might, just do it or face the fact that you are too pathetic to even kill yourself."
Posted By: A Caring Guy, October 25, 2003
"If Joey Ramone were alive today he'd probably shit in your mouth." Posted By: DrReverend November 11,
"When you're good, you're good. When you're bad, you're even better. See you in hell." Posted By: Anna
November 11, 2003
"Skippy, if you can prove to me that giving head and swallowing will without a doubt keep lung cancer and heart
disease at bay, you've earned yourself a BJ." Posted By: Mary Magdalicious, December 5, 2003
"Wow...you know nothing about politics." Posted Dr. Reverend, December 26, 2003
"You are a dick and should think seriously about killing your stupid blog - go get a job, you big fag"Posted
By: Princess Paragonian, December 29, 2003
"You have a, how shall i say.... appealing 'tough', yet gently gay look." (Univited PM) Posted
by:Jus20012002, January 2, 2004 .
"I hope jesus doesn't kick you in the nuts."Posted By: Mary Magdalicious February 2, 2004
"Stumbled on to your blog by accident and i must say alot of the stuff had me in stitches. Love it" Posted
By:Jeremy February 4, 2004
" .....sick."Posted By: Bee February 7, 2004
"Hey Skippy, you ever consider running for public office in the states? I know some people in the West Virginia state
government and our Senator can't live forever.Hell, even Strom, Thomas-Jefferson-Fan, Thurmond died
eventually.Posted By: Ford W. Mavrick, February 9, 2004
Wow, for someone who is so opinionated, you really don't know shit about American or Canadian culture. You appear to
know even less about history." Posted By: Dr. Reverend February 13, 2004
"Your blog's the best I have come across in a long time. I may not agree with all you say but the verve with which
you say it and the humour and irreverance is terrific. These days when the media just reproduces the handout from central
control, blogs like yours do a great deal to form informed opinion in a democratic society. Thanks. Keep it up."
Posted By:Anandan February 13, 2004
"SKIPPY pities ME? Where's my noose?" Posted By: Kilgore Trout March 22, 2004
"Jesus Skippy. Now Allah is going to kick you in the nuts" Posted By: Mary Magdalicious March 22, 2004
"I could make one that says "Skippy has a small penis" although his cock is superb. Posted By: Bestest Pussy March 23,2004
"Cunt sucking is for bitches.You're considered one of the girls because you dress like one. Posted By: Dr. Reverend March 24, 2004
"John Malkovich is one sexy bastard. I have such a thing for him. And I never realized til now, Skippy, how much you resemble John Malkovich...this, by default, makes you also one sexy bastard. See how that works?" Posted By: Zombie March, 26, 2004
"Too bad you live up north. It could have been beautiful.
Ever since I started coming here and saw your pic I wondered why you weren't getting more action. You are not a bad looking guy at all.
Maybe the girls are just...well, that's enough kindness for one day." Posted By: Serenity March 26, 2004
"Hell, if they make gay marriage legal, I'll marry you..." Posted By: Outpatient March 26, 2004
"You look creepier than the REM faggot. But he looks much more like a homersexual." Posted By: Dr. Reverend March 27, 2004
"Skippy, your hits will go up again if you post pictures of your man nipples. Lots of man nips." Posted By: Mary Magdalicious April 15, 2004
"What the fuck? You turning faggot? Posted By: Dr. Reverend April 16, 2004
"Sometimes it gets to be just a little too much. Sharing, that is." Posted By: Bee May 23, 2004
"I'll give you $5.00 if you make the fucking font you use on your blog bigger.
I'll give you $50.00 if you stop fucking writing about American politics.
I'll give you $500.00 if you fucking kill youself." Posted By: Dr. Reverend May 26, 2004
"Of course women like jerks.
Why the fuck do you think they like me?
I guess you've learned nothing from me over all these years." Posted By: Dr. Reverend May 29, 2004
"Sometimes a bitch just has to die." Posted By: Ford W. Maverick May 29, 2004
"It looks like we have more in common than the swastikas carved in our foreheads."Posted By: Dr. Reverend May 29, 2004
"This might be a shallow and 'Waiting-for-Godot-like' comment but...you seem to have not only brains but also beauty." Posted By: Nietzscheswife June 7, 2004
"Skippy, you are such a twisted bastard. Seriously. Why haven't we had sex yet?"Posted By: 0phelia June 25, 2004
"Just found your site. I find some of the things you say quite disgusting. And really quite enjoyable,so keep up the good work."Posted By: Big Al June 28, 2004
"I've read most of your blog. I'd say that so far it's the best I've come across, and believe me, I've seen a few. It's funny, well written (except for the spelling...) and interesting. There will always be those few idiots who just don't get it. It's useless to get worked up about it." Posted By: Johnny June 30, 2004
"Skippy... Go for the facial tattoo. I dig em', and fuck what those other bitches think. You can always bite their tits off if they back talk you." Posted By: Mary Magdalicious July 1, 2004
"Go fuck yourself up your butt." Posted By: Reek Stankleberry July 6, 2004
"Well if ass-fucking won't keep Satan away, I just don't know what will." Posted By: Dr. Reverend July 7, 2004
"dude, you're killing me. keep it up." Posted By: Son of Nixon July 22, 2004
"Are you always either naked or in a suit?" Posted By: Rehella July 22, 2004
"That person should speak for himself or herself. 'Cause you really are that much of a cunt, skippy." Posted By: Kilgore Trout August 4, 2004
"I've read you for a long time but have never commented before. That isn't a slight to your great writing ability, it's mainly because I don't want to be seen here!" Posted By: Paul August 4, 2004
" Dead on. Bulls-eye. I take back what I said about you being a cunt. For now." Posted By: Kilgore Trout August 4, 2004
"Know what, Skippy? You're alright." Posted By: Anna August 18, 2004
"Excellent work. Damn you for being so dead on." Posted By: The Maximum Leader August 24, 2004
"Skippy, fuck the puppy idea. Try getting a monkey that smokes. That will get you laid." Posted By: Mary Magdalicious August 27, 2004
"As to the beard - I like the clean shaven better - and what's wrong with a bald head? Bald heads are hot on some guys - unfortunately most can't pull it off * sigh * You look like you can pull it off though and that's a good thing - not a bad.
BTW, love your blog. I saw it in my referrers and thought it was just a random hit. Then I started reading and found you to be hilarious - it was only after about 10 posts that I noticed you linked me. I was more than flattered - linked by someone I was about to link anyway - awesome. Thanks" Posted By: Kinky August 27, 2004
"Fuckin' Goy bastard." Posted By: Dr Reverend December 19,2004
"Who does a guy have to sleep with to get one of his Skippy quotes pasted to the sidebar?
Great googly-moogly." Posted By: Smallholder December 20, 2004
"Are you a child molester or what's the story?" Posted By: Fukinator, December 28, 2004
"Sick dude." Posted By: DCayer December 29, 2004
"You officially suck." Posted By: Sorry, January 22, 2005
"I heart you, Skippy" Posted By: Karinsky, January 25, 2005
"As I've stated before, you were quite skilled in bed and I had no need to fake any of my multiple orgasms." Posted By: 0phelia, June 30, 2005
"I love Skippy. I swear I do. The only blogger more twisted than me." Posted on: Velociworld, July 26, 2005
" You are so fucking ignorant about America. And while the American people ARE stupid, so are you." Posted By: Bill Lassiter, August 2, 2005
"How can you not love a man who hates himself so viciously?" Posted on: It's All About De , August 31, 2005
"If I wasn't positive that all Canadian men had tiny penises, I'd be all over that Skippy." Posted On: It's All About De
"I've seen pictures of you and I'd say you're fuckable." Posted By: Joan, September 29, 2005
" I love your posts on Canadian politics even more than I love your posts on porn.
And I love your porn posts.
Why the hell do you waste all this talent on the internet? Write a book or something, goddammit! Posted By: Cliff S., November 17, 2005
"Let it never be said that underneath your self-cavilling, bitter (yet strangely egomaniacal) surface that you never take the time to give the people what they want. Even if it's just one people. Gawd bless you, Skippy! Posted By: Locke, November 18, 2005
"Wow! I don't know that I've ever been flattered and yet somewhat revolted at the same time... It's an interesting sensation." Posted By: Dewey in Toronto, December 1, 2005
"Very often, debating you is like playing whack a mole: You pop up some premised assertion moles, I pull out my mallet and start whacking, then you pop up more premised assertion moles - which are mostly or completely unrelated to the original moles I was whacking at. Your stock of moles seemingly stretches into infinity. And yet, an endless supply of moles does not equate to cogent argument.
Very often, debating you is like speaking to a salesman who will not answer a particular direct question, and instead flies off on the flight of rhetorical splendor known as "baffling them with bullshit." I'm impressed with your rhetorical skills, and your IQ, and your accumulation of knowledge. I'm impressed that I'm the American citizen, yet you might have a more thorough knowledge of the American Constitution than I. And yet, these impressive things are not substitutes for cogent argument."Posted By; gcotharn, December 21, 2005
"Besides, you seem to think you're the least respectable person I know. While you're often right, you're wrong on that count. Careful, I might out YOU as a nice guy. Or something." Posted By: Dewey In Toronto, December 27, 2005
"I've been to Toronto. The most dangerous thing I saw there was an 11 foot tall red head with shaved balls."Posted By: Judy, December 31, 2005
"There was this "Caught on Tape!" video I watched back in my highschool days where one of the scenes shows two people starting to cross the railroad tracks. One looks up at the last minute and sees the train, the other does not. In the commercial, it cuts away just before the train does its thing, but the video...
Your blog is like a twisted version of the video. We know the train is going liquify you in shocking gory fashion, but that's why we keep coming back. It's so much more fun that we both know the train is coming and you still gleefully walk into its path...and we love you all the more for it." Posted By:Locke, January 13, 2006
"Fuck. I'm hooked." Posted By: DeAnna, January 14, 2006
"Your Maximum Leader has found Skippy's commentary more insightful and interesting than anyone elses. So now he supposes that Skippy will go back to writing about porn and strippers he meets in the subway." Posted By: The Maximum Leader on Naked Villainy January 24, 2006
"Slightly crazed is fine, but with the beard you look like a total nutjob. If you ever hope to get laid again, for fuck's sake, Skippy, NEVER, EVER grow a saddam beard. You're welcome."Posted By: The Lady O, 28 January, 2006
"Maybe we should get married. My readers could support us by purchasing my worn panties and you could be the panty pimp." Posted By; Joan 28 January 2006
" I know it must be hard for you...being objectified by women all the time. But come on, how can they really help themselves? Have you seen yourself lately? Your pheramones preceed you into a room (as does your crotch). Don't blame it all on them...you did choose to leave your house. :D" Posted By: Joan, 3 February, 2006
"Skippy, you sarcastic twerp." Posted By: Arwen, 8 February 2006
"Just so you know.. if I had to choose between Moussaoui or Skippy.. You'd win. Even if I know what an asshole you are. Posted By; Judy, 13 February 2006
"I'd be willing to sign a legal document stating that is IS ok, in fact, to masturbate whilst thinking of me." Posted By: DeAnna (Who seems unaware of my reputation as an outlaw) February 24, 2006
"Feel free to masturbate while thinking of me...actually, do you need some of my panties to help you with that?" Posted By: Joan, February 24, 2006
"I blame myself for this. I have been too lenient with you. Your Godless behaviour must come to an end. You will receive a severe beating this weekend and I am contemplating removing your testicles." Posted By: Dr. Reverend, February 24, 2006
"Just remember skippy, the US never threw a fit when you smuggled your own personal WMD over the border twice a year. After all, it wasn't like you were hiding in your pants or anything.
All's fair in love and war, so to speak." Posted By: Judy, April 4, 2006
"Wow...nothing hotter than a man willing to issue fatwas for pussy." Posted By: Joan, April 16, 2006
"You sir, are a brilliant writer." Posted By: Judy, May 4, 2006
"I think I'm falling in love." Posted By: DeAnna, May 11, 2006
"THIS IS THE MOST DIABOLICAL FALSITY YOU HAVE EVER ENGAGED IN!!!!
I was intending to kick you in the face upon our next meeting, but now it's obvious that I must douse your scrotum in kerosene and set your testicles aflame. Alas, it is the only way you will learn." Posted By: Dr. Reverend, May 12, 2006
"And i would like to commend you on some excellent blogging. This particular story would normally warrant a few cryptically humorous lines and a link. To an ordinary blogger. But you managed to wring an essay of New Yorker-esque proportions out of it. That takes talent. Your beautiful young friend is right. I see big things for you in the future." Posted By: Annika, June 4, 2006
" I like a man who will unabashedly tell someone his penis size because hes unashamed. Thats hot.
*raises hand* I'll take that 6.5, thank ya" Posted By: Kinky, June 6, 2006
"Elvis, like skippy, is the very definition of rock and roll. Posted By: Rube, June 10, 2006
" I'm beginning to think you're the only good man left in the world, skippy. WTF?" Posted By: By: DeAnns, June 11, 2006
"Just so everyone knows.
Skippy does indeed, taste like bacon.
And, any guy who doesn't know cum tastes good to real women, is clueless." Posted By: Judy, July 2, 2006
"There was a British columnist whose work was described as 'a suicide note in weekly installments.'
This blog is sort of like that." Posted By: Gadfly, July 6, 2006
"Jeez, Skippy. Sometimes I really hate coming here." Posted By: Cynlee, July 18, 2006
"Someone needs to throttle you with a riding crop...truly!" Posted By: Joan, July 18, 2006
"Holy mother of god. I just had an orgasm. It's official: I'm devoting the rest of my life to you, skippy." Posted By: DeAnna, July 19, 2006
"Skippy, sometimes I'm not quite sure of your sanity, but you are without a doubt the baddest morning news reading, quiz show hosting, talent introducing PIMP in the motherfuckin' blogosphere." Posted By: Shank, July 19, 2006
