 BERNIER'S BAD DAY
I slept in this morning and then masturbated three times before having a couple of perfectly barbequed hamburgers and going to work. And work was almost placid, very quiet with none of the usual mutants bothering me. All in all, it was good day.
You know what the opposite of my day would be? Maxime Bernier's day. His day kinda sucked.
Maxime probably woke up to read that his former , Hells Angels-approved piece of ass was on Quebec TV last night, bitching about what a horror her life had become. And that's important to remember, because Julie Couillard's ex-husband was facing a very long jail sentence before he flipped and became a Crown witness. If fucking Maxime Bernier had a worse fallout than that, you can be pretty sure that he was a lousy lay. And he got to hear about it on TV and read it in the paper.
Meanwhile, I was repeatedly and ferociously masturbating thinking of a three-way with my perfect Zombiegirl and Julie Couillard. If you absolutely must know, they were both rubbing my teeny schvantz between their glorious knockers. I'm pretty sure dreams can come true. Tony Robbins wouldn't lie to me, would he?
As I was throttling my putz into submission, Maxime probably arrived at the office and learned that his life had taken a decided turn for the worse.
You see, as soon as Couillard story broke earlier this month, the Liberals and the Bloc Quebecois started screaming that she was a "security risk." I, like right-thinking gentlemen across Canada, assumed that this is because the Bloc and Liberal caucuses are exclusively populated by homosexuals. Also, everyone who votes for the Liberals or the Bloc is also a homo and loves the cock.
 As it happens, all of Canada's right-thinking gentlemen and I may have been mistaken. It turns out that she sort of was a security risk. Or rather, Maxime's stupidity was a security risk.
You see, our boy Maxime left sensitive - and very probably classified - documents relating to the recent NATO summit in Bucharest laying about in Julie's place. Then he actually left them there for an unknown period of time. So he had to quit his job.
Far be it from me to cast the first stone in a matter like this. God knows that after getting some quality poontang, I'm known for being absent-minded my own self. I forget all kinds of things at the woman's home. These things have been known to include my pants. True story. If you ever wanted to know why I don't get to keep classified documents, now you do.
Oh, and it also came out that Julie ran a company that was bidding on airport security contracts. A lot of fucking busy-bodies are running around screaming that women with classified documents and ties to the Hells Angels shouldn't be involved in airport security. Most of those people are Michael Ignatieff , which doesn't surprise me. Ignatieff wouldn't know what to do with a body like Julie's if it fell out of the fucking sky and landed on his dick.
Ignatieff is still talking about "questions" regarding Madame Couillard and none of those questions are related to important stuff, like her blowjob technique. That's why I've always hated that Harvard cocksucker and always will. And for Foreign Policy magazine to recognize that cur as one of the world's top 100 intellectuals is a travesty and powerful evidence that world is getting awfully fucking stupid.
I'm well-versed enough in politics to understand that this would ordinarily be a big deal. But I'm also well-versed enough in life to know that the dopey rules that the rest of us live by don't apply to hot girls with rock hard bodies. Julie Couillard could spend eight hours a day stuffing babies into a goddamn meat grinder and I'd still nominate her for the Order of Canada. Hopefully, she'd engage in some lesbo fun with Governor General Michaelle Jean in front of the television cameras.
 Yes, Julie Couillard has had numerous associations with the Hells Angels. Yes, she was bidding on an airport security contract, which might give some people pause. Yes, she was in possession of classified material for an undetermined period of time. All of that is true and no one is even bothering to dispute that anymore.
None of it matters because Mademoiselle Couillard has outstanding knockers. That trumps pretty much everything. Or at least it should. Easy Listening Recommendation of the Day: Waving My Dick in the Wind By: Ween From: The Mollusk Permalink Labels: Fun With Politics, I Fought The Law, O Canada
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