DIAMONDS ARE A GIRL'S BEST FRIEND, STEPHANE DION TAXES CARBON
I've been studying politics like the sexless geek that I am for well over twenty years now. And if I've learned anything, it is that if you're a candidate whose leadership ability has been questioned for 18 solid months, you should come out of nowhere and announce that you're going to tax one of the very building blocks of life. That almost always works.
But be sure that you don't say anything specific about your new tax on all things animal, vegetable and mineral other than you'll implement it. Much better that your opposition can define you for months on end when you could be defining yourself. Better still if the only person willing to support you in public is Jason Cherniak.
That's all you really need to know about politics and, fortunately, that's all Stephane Dion knows. He's performing about as well as you would expect a guy who became leader of the Liberal Party of Canada by accident would. Since his ascension he has resisted repeated opportunities to bring down a government he himself has said is destroying Canada and waited for the perfect issue on which to campaign. And it turns out to be one that he explicitly rejected during the leadership campaign.
New taxes, as you might imagine, are not usually something that politicians promise during a campaign. They tend to be something that are lied about, usually prefacing the term with the word "no." This is either the craziest fucking thing that I've ever heard or Dion has learned a magical new secret about how the electorate thinks.
The plan started leaking on Wednesday and Dion is set to outline it in public today. To be fair, Dion's policy is actually being touted as a "tax shift." This will involve taxes being levied on carbon-based pollutants while income taxes are reduced. In theory, this makes the plan "revenue neutral," something that Canadians are supposed to cherish.
The problem is that taxes are never revenue neutral. It just doesn't happen that way. One can suppose that would be double true when the tax supposedly has a moral purpose such as saving the universe. Politicians are impatient and the public is stupid, so if the tax is implemented and Saskatchewan doesn't become Eden in the first six months, you can rest assured that the tax will become increasingly aggressive.
Furthermore, Canada is such a small country and our percentage of the world's carbon emissions is so insignificant that all 33 million of us could live the life of the Amish and it would do virtually nothing to stop global warming. Even the Bush administration, which created an energy task force comprised entirely of oil executives, is doing better at meeting Kyoto targets (which they didn't even ratify) than is Canada.
Then there's the issue of climate. You might not know this, but Canada gets awfully cold in the winter. And the winter lasts well into July. Home heating oil and natural gas are primary targets of the tax "shift." Not everyone makes enough to pay federal income taxes, but everyone does share the biological imperative to avoid freezing to death. Not only does the carbon shift expand the tax base, it does so in the most regressive way imaginable.
Yes, the Dion plan does call for credits for lower income Canadians, but those can be fleeting. Back in the 90s, when the Liberals learned that running an economy through massive deficits and carrying horrific debt loads, subsidies and tax credits are usually the first thing to go. Under Chretien even health care transfers to the provinces took a significant hit. If the economy goes into recession, which is happening even as we speak, the government is not going to start throwing money around.
Then there is the inflationary effect of the tax shift. Did you know that a chicken, for example, doesn't walk onto your plate and commit suicide? There are several, carbon intensive steps, involved in getting it there. Each one of those steps is about to become markedly more expensive if the Liberals get their way, and those costs will be passed on to you, the consumer.
Anyone who doesn't know what inflation in a recession looks like should study the 1970s. Not only does it cause extreme economic pain, wipe out your savings, and cost you your job, it makes you dress funny. Implementing this tax at the best of times would be inflationary in the extreme, doing it during a recession will be economic suicide. Furthermore, the costs of restructuring the entire tax code to accommodate Dion's pledge might be enough to put the government back into deficit.
Then there's the matter of doing this when gas prices are so high. As much as Americans like to bitch about that, they're paying the lowest price to the gallon of any country outside of OPEC. While US prices are averaging about four dollars a gallon, Canadians are paying over five.
While Liberal spinsters like Mr. Cherniak are saying that gasoline will be exempt, the leaks of the plan don't say that at all. What it calls for is "moratorium on new federal taxes on aviation and diesel fuel for the first year." The problem is that gasoline prices are dictated by the price of oil, from which both aviation, diesel and gasoline all come. I'm not at all sure that you can raise the price of some and not others.
This of course, calls into question the purpose of government. If you're of liberal leanings, this is the ideal tax for you. Not only will you still have your income taxes, theGSTand provincial sales taxes, you'll get the Liberals behaviour modification tax as well. You'll be ever so happy if you believe in the power of the government to make life better.
I don't happen share that belief in government. I'm of the mind that the federal government should be limited to paving roads and killing foreigners, two things that it isn't particularly good at. Most Canadians are shocked when the government can shovel snow in less than a week, but now we're expected to believe that it can actually save the world?
Then there's the electoral politics of this, and I've never seen anything handled so disastrously. Dion started musing about carbon taxes months ago but refused to give ant details. This has allowed the Conservatives to define the plan for him and not in the ways that he'd prefer. And most Liberals are just dishonest, not stupid. They have been the government for most of the last century and are the most successful political party in the history of western democracy. They understand how elections work and they understand that no one is going to vote for a giant new tax, shifted or otherwise. This has understandably caused all manner of discontent within the Liberal caucus.
This is not a revenue neutral tax in the way that literate adults understand the term. Not only is it extraordinarily inflationary, it moves Canada away from the principle of progressive taxation and toward a system that rewards or punishes behaviour. The problem is that the poorer you are the fewer options you have regarding your behaviour. Worse still, if you subsidize the bad behaviour of poorer Canadians, you defeat the stated purpose of the plan.
Even if this plan were the greatest thing ever, it is almost impossible to properly explain the context of a thirty second commercial or a ninety second debate answer. And unfortunately for Stephane Dion, those are the only things that voters pay attention to. All Stephen Harper is going to need to say is "Yes, climate change is important, but so is the cost of feeding your family. If you think that you aren't paying enough, I encourage you to vote for my opponent. However, if you think that you're paying too much, you should trust the Conservative Party to manage our fuel crisis and stop inflation before it starts."
And then Stephane Dion will be destroyed.
I don't know what it is about Dion, but he seems determined to make every day Christmas for Stephen Harper.
Easy Listening Recommendation of the Day: Fall on MeBy: R.E.M From:Life's Rich Pageant
STEPHANE DION CRIES "HAVOC" AND LETS SLIP THE DOGS OF WAR. OR HE DOESN'T
There really should be a law against Canadian opposition leaders leaving the country. For years and years, it was just observed as a tradition. In the early years of the war in Afghanistan, then leader of the Opposition Stephen Harper didn't go there, and certainly didn't attempt to embarass the government in a theatre of war. When the Liberals were in opposition during the Mulroney years, neither John Turner or Jean Chretien went globe trotting in an effort to undermine Canadian foreign policy. Yet Stephane Dion has done just that twice in a month, first in Bali, then in Kandahar.
The reversal of that trend seems to be a desperate creation of Dion's doomed leadership. Dion is proving himself to be the most inept party leader in Canadian history, making Stockwell Day's reign over the former Canadian Alliance look like the Ming Dynasty. There is probably a solid quarter of the Liberal rank and file who would like to be rid of their accidental leader by any means necessary as I write this.
Monsieur Dion would very much like to end the Canadian combat presence in Afghanistan, despite the fact that we're there under a 60 year old treaty obligation, a United Nations mandate, and the fact that the troops were put precisely where they are - Kandahar - by his immediate predecessor, the Right Honourable Paul Martin, Jr.
Afghanistan is not Stephen Harper's war. It isn't even Canada's war. It is a war of the civilized world against a collection of monsters who have demonstrated their willingness to immolate thousands of innocent civilians in a cascade of burning jet fuel and bury their remains under hundreds of thousands of tons of concrete and steel. Three thousand human beings, including 24 Canadian citizens, were murdered by those animals on September 11. They declared war on us, Monsieur Dion, not the other way around. Not one, but two governments in which you were a cabinet member committed those forces.
Afghanistan is not a war of choice, like Iraq. It is a moral and security imperative for the western world. I have been harshly critical of the way that the United States has decided to fight this war, but that is only because I feel that this is a war that must be fought, and fought properly.
The almost 50% of Canadians who oppose the war because they're functionally retarded like to point out that Canada wasn't attacked on 9/11. I would point out that we weren't attacked during either world war, either. If an attack on our soil is the only justification for committing our forces, then Canada hasn't been involved in a "just" war since 1812. If you can't justify Canadian participation in Afghanistan, you can't justify Canadian participation in any war.
Having said that, the United States has been almost criminally negligent in Afghanistan. The 9/11 attacks occured on their soil, and the overwhelming majority of the dead were American citizens. Furthermore, September 11 was the fourth major attack on America or American interests by al-Qaeda from Afghanistan. Showing a little interest in avenging your own dead might be appreciated by the rest of us.
The Bush administration responded by sending in a small Special Forces contingient, and the initial war was fought almost entirely under the direction of the CIA, using Northern Alliance proxy forces. Even today, if you calculate it on a per capita basis, the US has a smaller commitment in Afghanistan than does Canada. When you compare the relative sizes of our militaries, the gap grows even wider. As pro-American as I am, I can't find a justification for that.
That's complicated greatly by Iraq. The Bush administration cannot say that NATO countries need to do more in Afghanistan while it has committed seven times as many troops in Mesopotamia. Iraq did not attack the United States, but Afghanistan was used as a base by people who did. The insane priorities of the administration have greatly complicated the political situation in countries like Canada. President Bush couldn't be a better friend to demagogues like Stephane Dion and Jack Layton, who urge withdrawl, immediate or otherwise.
I'm not going to sugar coat this. We're losing in Afghanistan, and we have been for some time. NATO is roughly where the Soviet Union was in 1986. The American government has other priorities and the American public isn't paying attention. The Taliban and al-Qaeda haven't disappeared and, in fact, they've grown stronger. Should NATO do more? Yes, but the United States absolutely must do more. Canadians are getting ground down in Kanadhar, and domestic political support for the mission is evaporating rapidly. And sniping from Defense Secretary Robert Gates and innumerable shithead American bloggers certainly isn't helping matters much. Canada is fighting the war that America won't, and we're doing it in the most dangerous part of the country.
Here's what needs to be understood. The Conservatives only have a minority government in a four party Parliament. The other three parties officially oppose Canada's continuing combat presence in Afghanistan to varying degrees. Current polling has the Conservatives at between 32 and 37%, just shy of a majority. If Harper loses the next election, which can happen at any time, Canada will leave Afghanistan. Make no mistake about that, my friends. If abandoning our treaty commitments picks up enough seats in Quebec, a Liberal government under Stephane Dion will do just that.
As a matter of fact, I'm surprised that there hasn't been an election already. Prime Minister Harper has done pretty much everything in his power to force Dion to defeat the government and force an election. But the continuing civil war against his leadership in the Liberal Party has forced him to literally sit on his hands and abstain on confidence votes for months now. I'm not sure how he can go before the country and say "I could have stopped these things I oppose, but I abstained," but I'm not a Liberal election strategist, now am I?
So last weekend, Dion decided to act like Dwight Eisenhower would have if Ike was a giant pussy.
During the 1952 campaign, Eisenhower declared "I shall go to Korea." That had a certain power coming from the man who led the crusade in Europe and the hero of D-Day. Stephane Dion went to Afghanistan, and only managed confuse everyone in Canada more than he already had and made himself a larger target of mockery, which few people thought was possible.
Any attempt to counter terrorists war-torn Afghanistan will not succeed without an intervention in neighbouring Pakistan, Liberal Leader Stephane Dion said Wednesday.
Mr. Dion hinted NATO could take action in Pakistan, which has a porous border with Afghanistan, if the Pakistani government doesn't move to track terrorists.
"We are going to have to discuss that very actively if they (the Pakistanis) are not able to deal with it on their own. We could consider that option with the NATO forces in order to help Pakistan help us pacify Afghanistan," said Mr. Dion in Quebec City, commenting after his two-day trip to Afghanistan last weekend. "As long as we don't solve the problem in Pakistan, I don't see how we can solve it in Afghanistan."
The Liberal leader explained that Afghan officials told him they know where the extremist strongholds are in Pakistan. But he said the Afghans don't take action.
"One day, we are going to have to act because our soldiers are cleaning out some areas, but in fact very often they are only clean in principle. The insurgents go take refuge in Pakistan and they are going to come back (to Afghanistan) at the earliest opportunity. This could last very long if we don't tackle the problems that often originate from Pakistan," Mr. Dion said.
It would appear that M. Dion has found it increasingly easy to make priorities.
Oh, that guy who goaded Dion in that ad is Michael Ignatieff. He's now the deputy leader of the Liberal Party, which is odd, because when he was a professor of human rights at Harvard, he was the picture of Bush Republicanism. Not only was he an ardent supporter of the Iraq war, he wrote a long article in the New York Times Magazine supporting the use of torture. Captain Blood was in Afghanistan with his hapless "leader."
Here are some of Ignatieff's former views from all the way back in 2004. Notice his use of the words "our" and "we" in his description of the American Constitution and military commitment. Now that he's the member for Etobicoke-Lakeshore, he almost never does that anymore.
Not once in that interview, or in any of his New York Times Magazine pieces, does he mention that he isn't an American citizen. He's a lot like Mick Stockinger that way.
To be fair, Dion's theory isn't new. The Nixon administration used it thirty-nine years ago. The American presence in South Vietnam was under constant attack by North Vietnamese and Viet Cong troops supplied by the Ho Chi Mihn Trail, which ran through Laos and Cambodia. The United States attacked those launching bases, which outraged people like Stephane Dion. But Dion is perfectly happy in replicating it now.
There's a small problem with Dion's theory: using "that option with the NATO forces in order to help Pakistan help us pacify Afghanistan" without Pakistan's stated permission is commonly known under international law as an invasion and an act of war. By the way, did you know that Pakistan has nuclear weapons? Furthermore, the British have any number of neat tales to tell of their experiences on the Khyber Pass.
The British army could never control the North West Frontier Province, where bin Laden is believed to be hiding. Neither can the Pakistani army. That's sort of how it became known as an "autonomous region."
Dion's suggestion also ignores the political situation in Pakistan. Any incursion into their territory, if not forcefully resisted, would result in the toppling of any Pakistani government, most likely by Islamist forces within the army and ISI. Such a junta could reasonably be expected to attack NATO forces with tactical nuclear weapons, if only because that would be the only way of repelling them. And since nuclear weapons are already in play, there would be little reason for an Islamist government not to go about settling some scores with India in Kashmir.
At which point, things get sort of serious. I might about that, but the consequences of my being right to humanity are too great to chance just because some Montreal university professor can't control his own party apparatus.
What amazes me is that Dion could suggest such a thing as he advocates a Canadian combat withdrawl from Afghanistan. Does he really think that someone who says "We're done with the fighting, but you attack the people with nuclear weapons" could be taken seriously?
Liberal defence critic Denis Coderre, who sat beside Mr. Dion when he made the remark, insisted yesterday the party was not advocating a military role for NATO in Pakistan - unlike U.S. presidential hopeful Barack Obama, who has mused about such an intervention.
The point of Mr. Dion's comment was to say that Canada wants NATO to work diplomatically with Pakistan to ensure Pakistan is part of the solution in the region, Mr. Coderre said.
"There's no way that we will send troops or stuff like that."
There are a couple of troubling things about Coderre's explanation. First, Coderre is a Francophone himself, and understood pecisely what Dion said. He did nothing at the time to clarify Dion's remarks. It was only after Defence Minister Peter MacKay and the Pakastani High Commission in Ottawa went insane that Coderre offered his "clarification."
Second, NATO is not a diplomatic organization, and there's nothing in its charter to suggest that it is. NATO exists only to kill people and break stuff. NATO was created to deal with the failure of diplomacy, not to further it. Furthermore, "pacification" is commonly understood to be a military function, not a diplomatic one. If wearing striped pants, coat tails and asking nicely that the Taliban and al-Qaeda stop killing us was effective, NATO wouldn't be in Afghanistan in the first fucking place!
That Stephane Dion doesn't recognize that goes even further in proving that he's too dangerously stupid to be prime minister than his initial advocacy of an invasion of Pakistan did. The guy is clearly a menace, and if he absolutely has to leave the country again, we should all join together in insisting that he do so using his French passport.
If you agree that Dion's leadership, such as it is, is becoming a political Jonestown, you'll love what what the chief propoganist in Dion's personality cult (such as it is), Jason Cheriniak, has to say in defense of him.
According to Jason, the fault of Dion's almost psychotic misstatements rests with the Conservatives and, of all people, Peter Kent. As much as I'd love to cherry-pick quotes from Mr. Cherniak's essay, you really don't get the full flavour of the insanity of his argument unless you read it in its entirety.
First, I should explain who Peter Kent is. For a long time, Peter, the elder brother of the celebrated "Scud Stud," Arthur, was the anchor man of Global Television's "First National." He was like Dan Rather, Peter Jennings and Tom Brokaw in Canada. But the former Big Three never got to start a nuclear war like Jason suggests that Peter Kent is trying to.
In 2006, Kent ran in the heavily Liberal riding of St. Paul's as a Conservative, where he was beaten like a narc at a biker rally. He is now the Conservative candidate for the riding of Thornhill, which is about a block from where I live, and the riding to which the Liberal Party once knowingly elected the perfectly psychotic Jag Bhaduria with malice aforethought.
Since Mr. Kent has to make a living until Stephane Dion grows enough balls to force an election, he remains employed CanWest Media Networks. CanWest owns The Ottawa Citizen, which seemingly drives Mr. Cherniak to endless distraction.
I should also note that, despite living in downtown Toronto, Mr. Cherniak is the president of the Liberal Party of Canada for the Central Region of Ontario, which doesn't encompass either Toronto or, for that matter, the riding of Thornhill. But Jason has has a long standing hard-on for Kent, so it doesn't really matter to him that Dion's silly remarks were also run on Wednesday by the Canadian Press and The Globe and Mail, where I found the story. The CP and the Globe have no connections to Peter Kent or the Conservative Party, so Jason isn't especially interested in that.
According to Jason, there was a vast right-wing conspiracy this week between Peter Kent, the Ottawa Citizen and the Conservative Party of Canada to make Stephane Dion look like an idiot and make Pakistan all a-scared of Canada. Oddly enough, Mr. Cherniak doesn't actually dispute the quote that started it all.
Like all conspiracy theories, Jason's falls apart within five minutes of actually examining it. Mr. Cherinak takes umbrage at the Ottawa Citizen's not including the question Dion answered - which newspapers almost never do - when he clearly stated that "NATO forces" "help Pakistan help us pacify Afghanistan." Even if the question mentioned diplomacy (which it almost certainly didn't because most reporters understand the world enough to know that NATO has nothing at all to do with diplomacy and that diplomacy and has nothing at all to do with pacification operations.) He still doesn't state how the question would change the context of the answer.
That said, it doesn't really matter what the question was. The answer speaks for itself. Or it doesn't, because, according to Dennis Coderre and Jason Cherniak, words, some invented after the fact,really don't mean anything as much as the sentiment behind them does.
None of that matters, you see. There's a vast right wing conspiracy to humiliate Stephane Dion, and what he actually said is immaterial. Of course, to believe that, you also have to assert that the Pakastani government is so stupid that they'll issue a protest based solely on the word of Peter MacKay and Peter Kent, without any investigation of their own. To believe Jason Cheriniak is to believe that the Pakistani High Commission is incapable of reading not only The Ottawa Citizen, but the Canadian Press wire and The Globe and Mail.
If Jason's right, I have a whole new respect for the power of Peter Kent. He managed to dupe a nation that was smart enough to develop a nuclear arsenal and a first-rate intelligence agency, but too dumb to read a quote in a language that is pretty commonly spoken in their country.
On Planet Cherniak, you can't take Stephane Dion's words to mean what the English language and international law suggest that they do. If, however, you do, you're both unreasonable and unethical. Supposing that Jason's right, then the government of Pakistan itself is unreasonable and unethical for protesting what Dion said as opposed to what he meant to say.
Being a Liberal means not only means never having to say you're sorry, it also means that Orwell was writing from the wrong side of the political and lingustic sphere.
I've said most of this in Jason's comments, but they're moderated, so he only sees fit to publish about half of them. Any time I link Cherniak on Politics, he erases it from his trackbacks as quickly as he humanly can*.
My comments aren't moderated and I welcome Jason to explain himself here, where I promise not to publish only half of what he has to say.
But I should say that the fatigues and helmet are a good look for Dion. I suspect that they'll work for him about as well as they worked for Michael Dukakis. I only regret that no one gave him a tank to ride around in.
*Actually, in my experience, there's very little rhyme or reason as to which comments Jason publishes and which ones he doesn't. I've submited highly insulting comments which appeared on his site and fairly innocuous ones that didn't. There have been comments of mine there that weren't published, but were by other commenters that said essentially the same thing afterward.
One never seems to know what Jason's going to go on the rag about, so commenting there is a difficult enterprise. That's why I leave my comments wide open. You can feel free to shit-talk or insult me all you want. The only reason I'd shut comments down or enable moderation is if the comments in question violate anyone's privacy or cross certain legal boundaries.
I also don't want to seem like I'm picking on Jason, who seems like a genuinely good guy. After all, he isn't a lawsuit-happy twat like Warren Kinsella, who threatens to sue everyone he doesn't like, publishes personal information of his enemies (real or percieved), and only started permalinking his own posts in the last few months, but doesn't have the stones to enable comments on his own blog.
I like Jason, even though I can't figure out where the line is with him. You can disagree with him without him calling you a racist, publishing your IP address, suing you, or generally acting like a totalitarian. And that's a lot more than you can say about Kinsella, who prides himself on being a censor, and brags about suing people for defamation, while slinging the most defamatory invective at those he disagees with.
Frankly, I'm shocked that the Law Society of Upper Canada hasn't brought that cur to heel for his relentless and vindictive dick-swingng. That man's lawsuits, or threats thereof, are only two short steps above those of Jonathan Lee Riches (c).
If anyone ever chronicles the legal legacy of Warren Kinsella, they'll find that he almost always litigates against bloggers who don't have the resources to fight back. And he defames them knowing that they don't have the resources to challenge him. Secure in his perch in downtown Toronto, he intimdates his lessers without fear or challenge. He prides himself in being a punk, but he's only one in the pre-1976 definition of the term.
Anyone who wonders why sensible people everywhere want to throw lawyers into an abandoned mine need only read the collected works of Warren Kinsella. I hope that Damian Penny sues the tits off of that monster. It seems to me that there are more than a few actionable words and statements in his "musing."
Since Warren freely admits to being a censor, I think that I can safely say that he is to free speech what pedophiles are to the priesthood. And if I have any lawyers reading this who think I'm going over the line, please tell me before that motherfucker sues me, too.
That isn't true of Jason Cherniak. You have to respect that. At least I do.
Easy Listenining Recommendation of the Day:The Dogs of War By: Pink Floyd From: A Momentary Lapse of Reason
If there's one recurrent theme that runs through Enjoy Every Sandwich, it would be my contempt for democracy.
It wasn't always this way. As a matter of fact, I was once a great enthusiast of the process and everything it represented. But I was very young then and my skull hadn't fully fused. I used to believe in other silly things, too. These included the tooth fairy, romance and a loving god. Thankfully, I've grown up a lot since I was 26.
Don't get me wrong, I love politics. But that's a lot different than loving democracy. I get wildly excited about pretty much everything that's wrong with the human spirit. Christ, I'm a guy who waits with bated breath for O.J Simpson to do something crazy just so I can feel whole. I'm a deeply, deeply damaged human being and this is why you love me so.
I love politics because I recognize it for exactly what it is; craven, blow-dried blowhards catering to the fantastically unrealistic whims of an apathetic and ignorant voting public. If politics was a sit-com, the father, son, whacky neighbour and the stern but loving boss would all be played by Mitt fucking Romney. Politicians are sleazy used-car salesmen and voters are the idiots who buy the same piece of shit volvo 18 times in a row, thinking "this time it'll be different, I can feel it."
Maybe that's why democracy reminds of my love life so much.
But for some inexplicable reason, I keep voting. You know those people who spend three-quarters of their day bitching about the government, but don't vote? I have to fight off the irresistible impluse to kick them in the face. Paying taxes and voting are a big pain in the ass, but they're the price you have to pay for your right to be a cunt about the government.
Not that I think most people should vote. I'm enough of a friggin' mongloid that I think that you should be able explain what you're voting for or against in more than one sentence. Eight in ten people can't. If you get them to say "Me like death penalty," you almost want to throw them a fucking parade. Ask them for further detail and they'll kick you in the face.
You know why I don't go to NASCAR races? Because I don't understand anything about a four-hour long left hand turn, wife-beating or fucking my sister. So I stay away. If more voters felt about voting the way I feel about NASCAR, society might not make me sick to my stomach as frequently as it does.
And yes, I am an elitist, condescending motherfucker. Thank you for noticing.
Ironically, for a guy who has come to despise democracy as much as I do, I seem to vote an awful lot. In the last decade, I've voted in a Toronto amalgamation referendum, four municipal elections, three provincial elections and four federal elections. It seems as though I vote almost as much as I masturbate, and I can't tell you how much my heavily callused cock resents that.
I found that out by reading Jason Cherniak's blog. Jason and I couldn't be more different. He's a regional president for the Liberal Party of Canada (for a region he doesn't live in, I might add) and I'm a mammal. I don't feast on the souls of innocent children, preferring instead to wait until they're of legal age to be felt up as well as robbed of their cherished illusions. But Jason's blog entertains me, which is why I linked him on the sidebar.
First, some background.
I live in the fedral riding of Willowdale. Willowdale is one of the safest Liberal ridings in the Dominon. It has also been represented by Jim Peterson (brother of Ontario's master of calling useless elections and former premier, David) since the dawn of time. Jim was the Minister of International Trade in the hopeless and doomed government of Paul Martin. Even I don't have anything bad to say about the guy. And I have something bad to say about pretty much everybody.
But when Martin was humiliated in January of 2006 and the even more helpless and doomed Stephane Dion was elected to replace him last December, Big Jim bugged the fuck out. He up and quit last July. I haven't had a Member of Parliament since. I'm voiceless in my great democracy. And, quite frankly, I kinda like it.
Well, the Liberal Party has long felt that women are under-represented in federal politics. That they are under-represented because they are wise enough not to spend a shitload of money for the privlige of being called unsavory names by blow-dried blowhards is beside the point to the Liberals. So they - alone among Canada's federal parties - reserve the right to appoint candidates to a riding nomination. It turns out that the Liberals hate democracy as much as I do, I'm just not as shy about saying so.
The Liberals have long had as a goal the fielding of 33% female candidates. That females actually represent roughly 52% of the population only proves that the Liberals are bad at math, which the more observant of us learned from Pierre Trudeau some three decades ago. Needless to say, the Liberals have yet to meet their own quota.
Now, I can understand if the Liberals appointed a female community activist without the proper resources to mount a credible campaign against some hack on his way up. But it doesn't happen that way. Jean Chretien first used his power of appointment to give my then-Member of Provincial Parliament, Elinor Caplan the federal riding adjoining mine.
Caplan wasn't some damsel in distress, lost in the wilderness of politics. She was a provincial cabinet minister who was responsible for something in the neighborhood of 40% of the Ontario budget. She also ran one of the most brutally effective political machines in the entire province. But she was gifted with "innie" genetials, so she didn't have to do anything trivial, like actually fight for the nomination to represent a riding where she didn't live.
Dion took this silly "politics of equity" to the extreme this year, and he happened to do it where I live. He appointed Martha Hall-Findlay to be the Liberal candidate in Willowdale.
Hall-Findlay, who has a history of parachuting into ridings, is a highly successful lawyer and a national figure to boot. She also came within 689 votes of beating Canada's sainted whore, Belinda Stronach, in the 2004 election when Belinda was still a Conservative. So celebrated was Hall-Findlay that she ran for the Liberal leadership when Big Paul Dithers was taken out of the game.
Rich, successful, well-known, doesn't live in the safest riding possible ... precisely what the Liberals need to represent women in government!
Although, a quick look at Martha's website gives you a hint as to why she might not have wanted to contest a riding nomination. She hasn't quite paid off the debt from her leadership campaign.
My personal favorite part of her website is the "About Martha" section. If you scroll down, you'll find a headline titled "Community Involvement." As it happens, the only community not mentioned is Willowdale.
Well, Stephen Harper announced today that Hall-Findlay will be annointed on March 17th of next year. You'd think that I'd be pissed off about this, but it appears that uber-Liberal Jason Cherniak is furious!
Wow. A 70 day by-election after 6 months without MPs. What a democrat our current prime minister is!
Jason, didn't Big Paul Dithers call an extra long election in 2005-06 in the hopes that it would give Harper more time to step on his own dick? And doesn't Martha's own website point out that Harper isn't legally obligated to call a by-election before the middle of January.
And I love how a supporter of Stephane Dion has the balls to do something like demand an election soonest. His very own "leader" could have forced one at any time in the last few months. The Conservative minority introduced any number of measures during the fall session that Official Opposition believed to be evil incarnate.
Instead, the Official Opposition abstained from each and every one of those votes. They did this because Canadians weren't "ready" for an election. That was in October.
Jason thinks that holding a 70-day campaign is somehow undemocratic, even though it would seem that a longer campaign gives voters more time to examine the candidates. Stephane Dion has since come out and declared that Canadians will be "ready" for a federal election in February or March, finally giving Canadians a reason to elect him: his crystal ball. Dion knows our feelings just like Oprah! One hopes that he'll be better at running our schools.
Here's the most galling position that Jason has ever taken on his blog,
A commenter has pointed out that Mr. Harper has called the by-elections for St. Patrick's Day. The man simply has no class.
What the fuck is that about? Is Cherniak actually suggesting that Irish-Canadians shouldn't vote drunk? Fuck him! I was born to vote drunk! After all, isn't that what being Irish is all about?
The first vote I ever cast was for a fellow Irish-Canadian with a drinking problem. And I was hammered then, although I wasn't even legally old enough to drink yet. The only vote that I've ever been prouder of was for a drag queen who could have spared the people of Toronto the embarassment of another four years of Mel Lastman. And yes, I was drunk then, too.
I've had the opportunity to vote for Stephen Harper twice now and I've declined. But I'm beginning to reconsider my opinion on that. Harper hasn't actually been an abject moron as prime minister and Dion can't even control his own fucking staff.
If Dion is dumb enough to delay pulling the trigger on Harper's government past St. Paddy's Day, I might get the chance to vote against that stupid prick Dion twice in one cycle. I'm getting to the point where I'll vote for Harper for two reasons: I want to see Stephane Dion shithammered straight into hell, and I'm so fucking tired of voting all of the time. It makes my liver hurt.
Besides, there's a completely inconsequential American election coming up soon, and writing about that gets me way more hits.
Easy Listening Recommendation of the Day: Democracy By: Leonard Cohen From: The Future
"YOU WANT A PIECE OF ME? I WANT YOU TO TAKE MANY PIECES OF ME": STEPHANE DION IS DETERMINED TO LOSE
Canada is far from what one would describe as a conservative country but, from time to time, we do elect Conservative governments. We like to tease the Conservatives before we go all the way with them, though. But when we actually do give it up for them, we do it in a big way. They get everything they've ever dreamed of. At least that's the way it's worked for the last fifty years.
You see, we like to elect a minority Conservative government first, just to test the waters. In 1957, John Diefenbaker shocked the country by narrowly defeating the popular Louis St. Laurent and forming a minority government. The following year, Diefenbaker won the largest majority in Canadian history up until that time. Following Diefenbaker defeat in 1962, the Tories would be in the wilderness for another seventeen years
By 1979 Pierre Elliot Trudeau had been prime minister for eleven uninterrupted years and was terrified to call an election, waiting out his entire five-year mandate before being forced to the polls by law. Trudeau was defeated by Joe Clark and the Tories again formed a minority. However, Clark was incompetent, his budget was defeated in a vote of no confidence and Trudeau returned from the grave to slaughter the Conservatives less than a year after being destroyed himself.
The country, however, had not gotten over its loathing for Trudeau and his fourth and final mandate was devoted to enraging as many Canadians as he possibly could. First he patriated the Canadian constitution in such a way that Quebec refused to sign it. Then he made a half-hearted attempt to nationalize Alberta's oil industry. Even someone as deluded by hubris as P.E.T knew that he had set himself up for electoral disaster and he announced his resignation in February of 1984.
Trudeau was suceeded by the hapless John Turner, who had been out of politics for almost a decade and was more interested in warming a barstool at Winston's and the many things that he could do to Pamela Wallin's ass than he was governing. Brian Mulroney made short work of him and won 211 of 282 seats, the greatest majority ever in Canada. The Mulroney Tories won a majority of the seats in every province and territory and it was the last time any party won with over 50% of the federal vote. So horrible were Trudeau and Turner that Canadians even skipped over giving the Conservatives a minority government first.
Not many people know this, but in his best election (1984), Mulroney won 53 more seats than Trudeau did in 1968 when he was actually walking on water. In his worst election (1988), Mulroney won 13 more seats than did Trudeau in his best.
Of course, that didn't stop the Tories from being reduced from 166 seats to two in 1993.
By then it seemed as if the Liberals, the most successful political party in the history of demoracy would never again lose an election. As prime minister, Jean Chretien relentlessly forced the federal government to invest in properties he held an ownership stake in and choked folks with impunity. He was far closer in personal style to Hugo Chavez than anything Canadians had previously seen. Still he was incapable of losing. In the end, the Chretien had power wrested from him by his own finance minister, Paul Martin. Martin was perhaps the most gifted bureaucrat in human history but it soon became painfully obvious that he was a horrible politician. The majority he had inherited was reduced to a minority in 2004 and was defeated outright in January of 2006.
The rise of Stephen Harper was shocking to witness because it wasn't supposed to happen. After 1988, the Mulronrey coalition had split three ways, with the Reform Party in Western Canada, the Bloc Quebecois in Quebec and the rump Progressive Conservatives losing Central Canada wholesale. If the PC and Reform votes were combined, Chretien would never had become prime minister, but they weren't and Chretien effectively had no opposition.
Lost in the cacophony of love during Martin's coronation as Liberal leader and prime minister of Canada, was the merger of Canada's two main opposition parties, Reform (by then the Canadian Alliance) and the Progressive Conservatives as the new Conservative Party of Canada. Shortly thereafter, Harper, the Alliance leader was elected leader of the new party.
Nobody really noticed that because it wasn't supposed to matter. Harper was a strategist and not a great candidate. Also, he was seen as being a scray "U.S-style Republican" who could never be elected to anything in Canada's socialist wonderland. But he took the Right Honourable Paul Martin Jr, inventor of sunlight and bringer of all the things good, down to a minority and kicked him right out of politics shortly thereafter.
After an eleven month leadership campaign, the Liberal Party of Canada decided that they really enjoyed being out of power. That was how they came to elect Stephane Dion their leader.
To listen to people like Jason Cherniak, you would think that Dion's victory was a case study of electoral stragitizing and old-fashioned ass-kickery. The facts, however, are more complicated. Simply put, Dion was the last man standing as the candidates with actual support, Michael Ignatieff and Bob Rae, blew each other up. If that sounds familiar to my American readers, it should. That's how John Kerry won the Democratic presidential nomination. Remember how well that went?
During the leadership debates, Dion imprudently blurted out "Do you think it's easy to make priorities?" thereby guaranteeing year after year of Conservative television ads.
And things only got worse from there. In the year since he assumed the leadership, Dion's public approval on leadership is slightly behind that of the "bachelor" down the street with all the candy, video games and young "friends." On the question of leadership, Dion is over 20 points behind Harper who is supposed to scare the fuck out of everybody.
Within months, the Dion Liberals lost a number of crucial by-elections in Quebec, including one seat that they had held since the Great Depression. By that point, everyone by Messers Cherniak and Dion thought that his continuing as leader was perhaps a poor idea.
Knives were drawn in short order and they have not yet been put away. Several factions of the party can't wait for Dion to be crushed like a bug in the next election so that the entire regrettable mess of his leadership might be put behind them.
Dion seems to have known it, too. A Throne Speech was introduced that all of the opposition parties, well, opposed rather vigorously and was designed by the government to engineer its own defeat and trigger an election. The Bloc and NDP vowed to vote against it. That left Stephane Dion was a stark choice: vote against the Speech from the Throne, force an election and ensure his own destruction or .... do nothing and tacitly support the government by abstaining on everything.
And that, my friends, is how the Leader of the Official Opposition stopped actually doing any opposing. It was an embarrassing and humiliating thing to even watch and Dion makes my skin crawl.
Dion's reasoning, of course, had nothing to do with cowardice or the intimate knowledge of his own impending doom and the desire to avoid same. Perish the thought. No, Dion stopped opposing a goernment that he himself has called everything short of satanic because ....... Canadians didn't want an election. How he knew that, no one seems to be sure. If, as has repeatedly stated on television, the Conservatives want to bring back the death penalty, ban abortion and destroy the environment, you'd think that reasonable people would really want an election soonest.
But we didn't. And Stephane Dion is sensitive to our feelings. He's a lot like Zac Efron with a shitty haircut.
A tough-talking Stephane Dion appears to be setting the stage for a spring election, warning that his Liberals won't continue propping up the minority Conservative government for much longer.
Throughout the fall, Liberals have abstained on key confidence votes to avoid toppling the government and plunging the country into an election that the Grits would be hard-pressed to win.
But, in an interview with The Canadian Press marking his first anniversary as Liberal leader Dec. 2, Dion predicted the survival strategy won't be necessary in the new year.
"2008 will be another ball game," he said. "You cannot keep alive forever a government who wants to die."
Wow. Is Dion saying that he's for assisted suicide now? Even though he was against it just forty-five days ago? That's leadership!
And what do real leaders do? They ressurrect failed election strategies. And a super-duper leaders make sure that said strategies have failed at least twice in the recent past.
"At the next election, there will be this narrow, selfish Conservative idea of Canada, with Stephen Harper's hidden agenda toward the U.S. Republican ideology," Dion told the weekend pep rally in Montreal.
"And there will be our vision of a richer, greener, fairer Canada of the 21st century."
The next national campaign, the Liberal leader promised, will be "a collision between these two conceptions of our country."
Ahhh, the fabled "hidden agenda / Harper's actually George Bush" strategy. I've missed that one. The classics, they say, never go away.
You see, Paul Martin tried that one twice against Harper. The first time was when Harper was up ten points in the week before the 2004 election. That tactic worked and erased that lead and let Martin squeak by with a minority. But one should also recognize that Consevative candidates helped Martin out by talking about abortion and gay marriage, which Canadian politicians are never rewarded for. The second time, Martin lost and was driven right out of Ottawa.
That was pretty big news in the Great White North at the time. I guess Dion was too busy to read the papers, what with being the minister of the environment as the the fucking Bush Administration was cutting greenhouse gas emissions twice as fast as Canada. That keeps a guy pretty busy.
Now, if you can argue that the strategy was somewhat successful in 2004, it would be impossible to do so now. Three years ago, Harper was a completely unknown commodity to everyone who wasn't a sexless geek like Jason Cherniak and me. That isn't the case now. Harper has actually been prime minister for nearly two years.
For the strategy to work this time, Stephane Dion is going to have to stand up in public and say something along the lines of "Gad-fucking-zooks! His agenda is even more hidden than we thought! He's waiting for a majority government before he destroys us all!" The only problem with that is that it provides a rationale to keep Harper's minority government and we still get to get rid of Dion.
One can only hope that he ends that speech with "We're not making this up," if only because it worked so well for Martin.
And being the strong leader and political wizard that he is, Dion is going to launch this brilliant campaign in the place that has launched countless of Canada's most exciting elections. That's right, he's going to Indonesia.
Here's the bet: what percentage of the Liberal Party hopes that he stays there, 50, 75 or 100?
Easy Listening Recommendation of the Day: Wake Up Dead Man By: U2 From: Pop
THE UNELECTED MAJORITY AND THE ABSENCE OF OPPOSITION
The biggest news to come out of the government's Tuesday night Speech from the Throne is that Prime Minister Stephen Harper now has, for all intents and purposes, a majority government.
Although elected by the thinnest minority in Canadian history, Harper can now essentially do whatever he wants. And he has the misplaced bravado, cowardice and unbelievable stupidity of Liberal leader Stephane Dion to thank for it.
Dion is dumb in ways that almost defy the laws of physics. One listens to him and wonders how he manages to get through the day without accidentally killing himself in the shower, let alone win the leadership of "Canada's natural governing party." That Stephane Dion managed to get himself in a position of any power and influence disproves pretty much everything Charles Darwin ever said. Not only is he a coward and an idiot, he is brazenly so.
The joy of heading a minority government is that you don't get to do much of anything without support outside your own party. That is particularly problematic for a Conservative minority because they have no natural allies in Parliament. A Liberal minority can cater to the New Democratic Party to pass their agenda and then steal their voters come election time. Pierre Truedeau demonstratic how this is done during his 1972-74 minority, and Paul Martin tried the same thing in 2004, but Martin was the most awkward politician in Canadian history.
Harper found that his agenda - particularly on crime - was being passed by the House of Commons, but was being stalled by the Liberal majority in Canada's unelected Senate. There was every indication that this was going to continue indefinately. The Liberals wouldn't have to defeat a bill in the House when they could have the Senate do it for them.
Then Dion made Harper's life infanately easier. In September, Dion said that unless the Throne Speech met four Liberal conditions, he would join the NDP and the Bloc in voting against it. Because the Throne Speech involves a confidence vote, its defeat would bring down the government and force an election.
The prime minister called Dion's bluff in spectacular fashion. He declared that not only would the Throne Speech be a confidence vote, so would any legislation that came from it. The Liberals could either pass the Conservative's agenda, or they could force an election.
The Opposition was stuck. The Liberal Party is still engaged in its neverending civil war and their ground operation in Quebec is in shambles. There have been reports of an internal Liberal poll that showed if an election were held now, they could be left with only two seats in Quebec. Not only would the Liberals lose the election, they would be devastated by it, perhaps for a generation.
Dion was trapped by his own empty threats. He couldn't force an election and he couldn't support the Tories. So he chose the most cowardly option available to him. In a rambling, 45-minute response to the Throne Speech Wednesday that was more a monument to cowardice and ignorance than a statement of political principle, Dion announced that his caucus would abstain on tn Throne Speech vote.
Yet, somehow, in thinking about this a lot, I may find something relatively positive to say about the speech. It is not as bad as the one we would have heard from the Conservative Party if it had been a majority government.
As the Prime Minister's most trusted political adviser, Professor Tom Flanagan, recently described, if the Conservatives form a majority government, rural economies would be threatened by a fatal assault on supply management and the Canadian Wheat Board. Health care would be subject to an agenda of Conservative “radical reform”. One may imagine what that means.
The work of our police officers and the safety of our citizens would be threatened by the absolute dismantling of the gun registry and our environment would be neglected by those who believe that, to quote Mr. Flanagan's incredibly irresponsible statement, “global warming may threaten the planet, but it actually improves the weather in Canada”.
Canadians can count on the Liberal Party. The Conservative Party will never form a majority.
Actually, the Conservative Party now has a majority and they didn't have do something as inconvenient as ask the voters for one to get it. In his 45-minute dissertation on everthing that is wrong with his leadership, Dion gave the Conservatives their majority. An election now would on ratify that status.
It follows that if the Liberals are going to abstain on the Throne Speech, they'll also abstain from voting on the legislation that flows from it. Essentially, the Liberal Party of Canada has abdicated their role as Her Majesty's Loyal Opposition and given the Conservatives the majority the voters denied them. After this silly little stunt, no one will ever take Stephane Dion seriously again. As much as people like me say that the Liberal Party is a collection of unprincipled nitwits, it took Monsiuer Dion to actually prove it.
It is worth noting that quotes Dion attributes to Tom Flanagan come from his recent book, Harper's Team, which I recently finished reading. Dion mischaracterizes almost everything Flanagan wrote. In his book, Flanagan offered his opinion that the Conservative Party should avoid campaigning on or trying to enact some of their more ideological beliefs because Canada is not yet a majority conservative country and to do so would therefore be politically suicidal, not that the Conservatives would do those things if they had a majority government. What he wrote is little more than a recognition of current Canadian reality as opposed to a secret platform.
A concise digest of Flanagan's thinking can be found here, and you'll find that it is very different than what Dion suggests.
This is yet another feeble attempt to play the "Harper has a hidden agenda" card that backfired on Paul Martin in the last general election. The Liberals are so bereft of ideas that they feel that a failed strategy is better than no strategy at all. No wonder they want to avoid an election. They might get to run those ads that have Harper filling the streets with tanks again. And no, I am not making this up.
Unfortunately, the voters won't be able to "choose their Canada." Stephane Dion did that for us. And Stephen Harper's continuing in office is a rather significant part of that Canada.
Among the items in Harper's omnibus crime bill - which will be a confidence vote - is a dangerously stupid and tangibly evil change to Canada's dangerous offender law. In Canada, a convicted criminal may be declared a "dangerous offender." That status results in an indefinate prison status. Since the measure was introduced in 1977, only one dangerous offender has been released.
Harper will introduce a "three strikes, you're out" sentencing guidline that has proven to be such a miserable failure in the United States. Upon a third convinction for an unspecified "serious offense," the Crown can apply for dangerous offender status to be imposed and the burden of proof will rest on the defendant. While not clearly unconstitutional, such a reverse onus is antithetical to everything a democratic society is supposed to stand for. It is so odious that no person of conscience should support it. It is something that more properly belongs in a Kafka novel than the Canadian judicial process.
The Liberals oppose it and it is one of the measures that they have been using their senate majority to clock. But in all likelihood, Dion will now let it pass for no other reason than he's a coward with a big mouth.
As much as the Tories would like an election now, they no longer need one. With the Liberals buried in a hole of their craven incompetence, Stephen Harper now has the governing majority he's dreamed of since he was a child. Even though he only controls 125 of Parliament's 308 seats, he may as well have the super-majority that Brian Mulroney won in 1984. Despite the thinness of his minority, Harper may well be the most powerful prime minister in Canadian history. And Stephane Dion made it so.
It takes a great deal of effort to make the NDP appear to be a serious force of opposition, but the Liberals have made it look easy. Jack Layton now has the tools to go to Canadians and convince them that a vote for the Liberals is a wasted vote - an argument that the Liberals have traditionally made about the NDP. And Stephane Dion made it so.
Stephane Dion's leadership has proven to be such a disaster for the Liberal Party and the people of Canada that some observers are calling on the Governor General to appoint the NDP the Official Opposition.
NDP supporters, and for that matter any Canadian who believes that Canada benefits from a working democracy, ought to call on the Governer General to strip the Liberal Party of its role as Official Opposition and grant that title, and all the benefits and responsibilities that come with it, to the NDP.
I don't think it would create a constitutional crisis. A constitutional headache at best. But a move in that direction, or even just musing about such a change, would do a great deal to either galvanize the Liberals into doing their job, or splinter the Liberals and allow the NDP to move in to do the job they've been itching to do.
Even if this isn't done officially, the prime minister has the power to make Jack Layton the unofficial leader of the opposition. All he has to do is ignore Dion during Question Period and state for the record why he is doing so. Harper can address his answers to the NDP, even if the question comes from the Liberal benches.
If the Liberals are going to spend the next two years abstaining on confidence measures, they will have abdicated the right to be acknowledged as the Opposition. They shouldn't be recognized with a title that they refuse to live up to the responsibilities of and Harper should say so in the House at the earliest opportunity. There's very little point in even pretending that the Liberals are the Opposition at this point, so why bother?
Despite the fact that I didn't vote for him, Stephen Harper actually hasn't been a bad prime minister. The ridiculous notion of a "hidden agenda" that Dion has continued to espouse as recently as Wednesday has been utterly discredited and the voters pretty much know it.
However, the Conservative government needs an opposition as a check and balance. I and all Canadians remember all too well what happened when the Progressive Conservative Party was divided three ways and Jean Chretien had no effective opposition for a decade. Canada became known as "the friendly dictatorship." That happening again should be avoided, if at all possible.
I never thought I'd say this, but maybe it's time that the NDP becomes the Official Opposition. I disagree with everything that they stand for and believe that they live in a fantasy world of rainbows and unicorns, but they actually are serious about being the opposition and Stephane Dion is not.
If Her Excellency, the Right Honourable Michaelle Jean does not invite Jack Layton to become the Leader of the Official Opposition, which I think is highly unlikely, then Canada's liberal (as opposed to Liberal) voters should do so. I fail to see how any fair-minded progressive can continue to support Stephane Dion. Dion is actually doing Harper's work for him at this point.
The current Liberal talking points out there are quick to point out that Harper's Conserveratives abstained from voting on Paul Martin's 2005 budget rather than topple his minority. And it's true that they did this in part because they weren't ready for an election then. However, they did vote to bring down the government less than three months later and again, successfully, that November.
What the Liberals are ignoring is that Harper abstained from one confidence vote. Dion has indicated that he plans on abstaining on confidence measures indefinately. He's not doing it as a matter of principle, he's refusing to actually do his job until his poll numbers improve, which is an awfully unusual way to improve your approval rating. Given that, I can't see why the Liberals would show up in the House of Commons at all other than they like being on television and looking silly.
How is Dion biding his time? He's writing make-believe Throne Speeches for the Toronto Star. Rather than defeating the government so that he might have the opportunity to introduce a real Speech from the Throne, he'll write a pretend one. I suppose this is because governing is hard and pretending is fun. It's also extremely childish. That should tell Canadians how serious a leader Stephane Dion is.
When Harper defeated Paul Martin in January of 2006, most Canadians, and a good number of Liberals, thought that some time in the wilderness would be good for the party after 13 years in power. That clearly wasn't the case. The Liberal Party instead elected a leader even more craven and indecisive than Martin was. Part of the function of the Official Opposition in a parliamentary democracy is to be "the government-in-waiting." Stephane Dion demonstrated clearly why he should never become prime minister of Canada this week.
No one seriously suggests that the Conservatives are going to lose the next election. In all probabilty, they'll win a majority. The next campaign, whenever it happens, will be about who leads the opposition against Harper. If nothing else, Jack Layton is at least interested in that job, which no one can say about Dion anymore.
Easy Listening Recommendation of the Day: Beware of Darkness By: George Harrison From: All Things Must Pass
STEPHEN HARPER'S BEST FRIEND: HOW I LEARNED TO STOP WORRYING AND LOVE JEAN CHRETIEN'S MEMOIRS
It's been an unusually interesting cuople of weeks in the normally dull world of Canadian politics. The Liberal Party of Canada is engaging in what increasingly looks like a civil war with its Quebec wing, Stephen Harper is setting the stage for an almost inevitable election that is impossible for him to lose, and former prime minister Jean Chretien is returning from the shadows to complicate life as much as he humanly can.
If you're Prime Minister Harper, life is very good indeed. If you happen to be a Liberal .... not so much. As a matter of fact, life can't be much worse for the federal Liberals than it is right now.
Last month, the Liberals lost the Montreal-area riding of Outremont which they have held almost uninterupted since the Great Depression. Quebec Liberals rightly point out that if the party's leader, Stephane Dion can't win Outremont, they are very few places in Quebec that he can win. Then Dion's personally picked party president managed to make a stupid comment that offended both Quebeckers and Chinese people.
The Liberal civil war that has taken place over most of the decade continues. Only the names have changed.
In this, Harper sees a magnificent opportunity. On Tuesday evening, his government will open the new session of Parliament with the Speech from the Throne. For my foreign readers, the Throne Speech outlines the government's agenda for the new session. The Throne Speech must also be voted on by the House of Commons, and that vote is a vote of confidence. Should the Throne Speech be defeated, the government falls and a general election is called.
The New Democratic Party and the Bloc Quebecois have already stated that they vote against the Throne Speech. If even a minority of Liberal MPs join them in opposing the speech, Harper's minority government is finished.
And that my friends, is precisely what the Prime Minister wants. With both the Liberals and BQ evaporating in Quebec, Harper isn't likely to have a better time to go the polls. While public polling doesn't yet reflect it, this is the Conservatives' best shot at actually winning a majority.
For that reason, Harper is getting exceptionally clever and exceptionally sneaky. In a rare press conference, the Prime Minister has stated that not only will be the Throne Speech be a confidence vote, so will any legislation stemming from it. Reports indicate that the speech will include large personal and business tax cuts, an extension of Canada's military mission in Afghanistan, and a declaration that Kyoto targets are unacheivable. In short, there's very little on the government's agenda that the Liberals can support.
Conventional wisdom has it that the Liberal front bench will vote against the Speech from the Throne, but all other members will abstain, letting the Conservatives keep a minority and survive. But if they do that for the entire session of Parliament, people will start to wonder why the Liberals are there at all. Sooner or later, the Liberals will have to pull the plug on the government or campaign in the next election as the most irrelevant collection of MPs in Canadian history.
This is the worst case scenario for Dion as Leader of the Official Opposition. His party is at war with itself and is incapable of raising sufficent money to fight an election. If he props up the government for any length of time, he renounces everything that he and his party claim to believe in, but if he forces an election, he gets annhiliated, particularly in Quebec. This is what the space between a rock and a hard place looks like, folks.
I've spent the last few weeks thinking that things couldn't possibly get worse for Dion and the Liberals. Then Jean Chretien returned from the political grave to show me just how wrong I can sometimes be.
On Tuesday, Chretien's memoir, My Years as Prime Ministerwill be released. Excerpts of the book were leaked yesterday, and it appears to be less of a memoir than an act of vengence against his mininster of finance and successor as Liberal leader and prime minister, Paul Martin.
Chretien and Martin's hatred for one another was the worst kept secret in Ottawa and it stretches back to 1990, when they both ran for the Liberal leadership. Almost from the moment he took over the finance portfolio under Chretien in 1993, Martin began positioning himself as the heir apparent for the leadership. As Chretien won majority government after majority government (in all, three between 1993 and 2000), Martin began to actively undermine Chretien's leadership and made very little secret of the fact that he was doing so. That Chretien had done precisely the same thing to his predecessor as leader, John Turner, seems to have escaped his notice.
Finally, things came to a head in June of 2002 and Chretien fired Martin from the cabinet. Seeing the writing on the wall, he also announced that he would resign as Liberal leader and prime minister in early 2004.
Martin became prime minister in December of 2003. In the spring of 2004, Chretien's final majority was reduced to a Martin minority. In November of 2005, Martin's government lost a confidence vote and was defeated by Harper's Conservatives in January of 2006. At the time, there were dark whisperings that Chretien operatives were organizing for the hated Tories in several Quebec ridings, of which they won an unexpected ten.
Several things have been said about Chretien's people and very few of them are complimentary. But no one disputes how disciplined and intensely loyal they are. It is unimaginable that they would do anything that the boss didn't know about and personally approve. That being the case, one can only conclude that Chretien's hatred for Martin was so intense that he preferred seeing a Conservative Harper government to seeing Martin continue in office.
Pity and mercy are traits not widely associated with Jean Chretien's name. He is an old-school pol, who believes in not only defeating his enemies, but to destroy them completely, the consequences be damned. He is the kind of man who is incapable of happiness unless he urinating on the bodies of those who have fallen before him. Stockwell Day and Kim Campbell know this well, and so now does Paul Martin, Jr.
It should surprise no one that Chretien is not happy with merely having Martin's political head on a stick, he wants to kick the corpse awhile and this is where his memoir comes in.
"I was damned if I was going to let myself be shoved out the door by a gang of self-serving goons," Chretien writes after describing the hurt and betrayal he felt upon learning in the spring of 2000 about a meeting Martin supporters had held in a Toronto airport hotel. "By trying to force me to go, they aroused my competitive spirit, ignited my anger, and inadvertently gave me the blessing I needed from Aline (his wife) to fight for a third term. For that, ironically, I owed Paul Martin a great deal of thanks."
Chretien spent years telling anyone who would listen - including even his wife - that he would not stick around long enough to seek a third mandate. 1997 was supposed to be Chretien's final election as far as anyone was concerned.
Then it wasn't. Most people accepted Chretien's explanation that the 2000 election was fought because the dimwitted Stockwell Day entered the House of Commons as Leader of the Opposition and immediately challenged Chretien to call an election. Now he admits that Day couldn't have been less consequential to his tenure, and that he called the election for no other reason to keep Martin in his place and nip his stupid coup attempt in the bud.
As history, that's a pretty fascinating story. the rest of the excerpts directly impact the future and what will almost certainly be a federal election campaign before Christmas.
Chretien also recounts that after the Taliban government of Afghanistan was overthrown, he carefully engineered things so Canada's soldiers were stationed around the safer area of Kabul, helping to rebuild the Afghan capital.
"Later, unfortunately, when my successor took too long to make up his mind about whether Canada should extend our term with the International Security Assistance Force, our soldiers were moved out of Kabul and sent south again to battle the Taliban in the killing fields around Kandahar," Chretien writes.
The Liberals under Dion have joined with the Bloc and the NDP in calling for a Canadian withdrawl from Afghanistan when our mandate expires in February of 2009. Fighting an election on the issue becomes somewhat complicated for Stephane Dion when the Conservatives have the former Liberal prime minister placing the blame for Afghanistan squarely on the shoulders of a Liberal government of which Dion was a minister.
Chretien also kicks Dion's feet out from under him in regards to the Kyoto Climate Treaty.
Chretien says when he left office, Canada was on track to meet its commitments under the Kyoto accord.
"Unfortunately, whether for political or ideological reasons, my successors succumbed to the fears and threats of the anti-Kyoto forces and did serious damage to Canada's progress and our reputation in the process."
The minister of the environment in the Martin government was none other than Stephane Dion.
The Liberals very much wanted to make Afghanistan and Kyoto major issues in the coming campaign as their positions on both enjoy broad support in both English and French Canada. Chretien's book undercuts the case for Liberal competence on both. Harper will undoubtedly be carrying My Years As Prime Minister across the country with him and sharing Chretien's wisdom with voters just as liberally as he can. That's a given. Stephen Harper is a lot of things, but dumb isn't one of them.
Jean Chretien is a crazy bastard with a penchant for choking folks and inventing imaginary homeless friends. The guy is almost delusionally psychopathic, but he is one of the most professional politicians in Canadian history. He lies even when he doesn't have to because the truth is so little fun, but he's not a stupid man.
He knows what effect his book will have in any campaign. He also wrote it knowing that Harper only had a minority government and that an election writ could be dropped at any time. Chretien is also completely aware of the damage that his war with Martin did to the Liberal Party of Canada and to its finances and fundraising prospects. While Chretien couldn't have known just how disasterous Dion's leadership was going to be as he wrote, he certainly had to know that this book couldn't help Dion's leadership.
Jean Chretien knew all of these things, but he didn't care. He led the Liberal Party for 13 years and won three majority governments for them. And it appears that he reserves the right to destroy it on a whim. His hatred for Paul Martin is so intense that he seems quite content to keep the party he devoted forty years of his life to in opposition until anyone who even remembers Paul Martin's name is either dead or out of politics entirely.
Jean Chretien's hatred is so intense that he is perfectly willing to become the best friend Stephen Harper ever had. He's given the Conservatives the perfect playbook on which to fight an election that could very well bring them to a majority government before the year is out.
And as someone who has hated the Liberals since childhood, I couldn't be happier. I've already ordered My Years As Prime Minister and I've blocked off enough time to reading it, naked and giggling.
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What People Are Saying About skippy
"hands down, Canada's most underrated blog" Damian Penny, The Undisputed Dean of Canadian Political Bloggers. Posted at Daimnation , Saturday October 21, 2006
"You can count on “Skippy” to make you think in different ways about familiar issues. You can also depend on him to be rude, offensive, and outrageous – if you're offended by completely uninhibited sexual imagery (and imagination!), don't read Skippy – but your prudery will keep you from an often interesting perspective." Posted On: Jamulblog, July 12, 2007
"Your Maximum Leader is beginning to think that the less he posts, the better Skippy’s political posts are. Indeed, your Maximum Leader even thought (just a few short moments ago) that if your Maximum Leader just stopped blogging all together would Skippy just keep on writing enough good material for two blogs? (Admittedly one of those blogs would be an X-rated social commentary/diary site and the second a remarkably well-informed and insightful political commentary site…)" Posted On: Naked Villainy, September 18, 2007
"I love your writing. few could pull off sarcastic humor and self-loathing like you do. You've turned self-disgust
into an art form." Posted By:Ophelia July 19, 2003
"hahaha um, not funny" Posted By: Ophelia July 17, 2003
"This is not fucking funny." Posted By: Bee August 21, 2003
"I join Bee in saying that this isn''t funny AT ALL. jesus christ, Skippy." Posted By: Ophelia August 23,
2003
"You are obiviously being kept down by the Mud People." Posted By: DrReverend August 21, 2003
"I''ll give you $50.00 if you kill yourself." Posted By: DrReverend August 19, 2003
"Last time I read this blog." Posted By: Dave, October 24, 2003
"I think you should stop talking about killing yourself and ACTUALLY kill yourself. For fuck's sake, everybody is
tired of hearing about how you might, just do it or face the fact that you are too pathetic to even kill yourself."
Posted By: A Caring Guy, October 25, 2003
"If Joey Ramone were alive today he'd probably shit in your mouth." Posted By: DrReverend November 11,
"When you're good, you're good. When you're bad, you're even better. See you in hell." Posted By: Anna
November 11, 2003
"Skippy, if you can prove to me that giving head and swallowing will without a doubt keep lung cancer and heart
disease at bay, you've earned yourself a BJ." Posted By: Mary Magdalicious, December 5, 2003
"Wow...you know nothing about politics." Posted Dr. Reverend, December 26, 2003
"You are a dick and should think seriously about killing your stupid blog - go get a job, you big fag"Posted
By: Princess Paragonian, December 29, 2003
"You have a, how shall i say.... appealing 'tough', yet gently gay look." (Univited PM) Posted
by:Jus20012002, January 2, 2004 .
"I hope jesus doesn't kick you in the nuts."Posted By: Mary Magdalicious February 2, 2004
"Stumbled on to your blog by accident and i must say alot of the stuff had me in stitches. Love it" Posted
By:Jeremy February 4, 2004
" .....sick."Posted By: Bee February 7, 2004
"Hey Skippy, you ever consider running for public office in the states? I know some people in the West Virginia state
government and our Senator can't live forever.Hell, even Strom, Thomas-Jefferson-Fan, Thurmond died
eventually.Posted By: Ford W. Mavrick, February 9, 2004
Wow, for someone who is so opinionated, you really don't know shit about American or Canadian culture. You appear to
know even less about history." Posted By: Dr. Reverend February 13, 2004
"Your blog's the best I have come across in a long time. I may not agree with all you say but the verve with which
you say it and the humour and irreverance is terrific. These days when the media just reproduces the handout from central
control, blogs like yours do a great deal to form informed opinion in a democratic society. Thanks. Keep it up."
Posted By:Anandan February 13, 2004
"SKIPPY pities ME? Where's my noose?" Posted By: Kilgore Trout March 22, 2004
"Jesus Skippy. Now Allah is going to kick you in the nuts" Posted By: Mary Magdalicious March 22, 2004
"I could make one that says "Skippy has a small penis" although his cock is superb. Posted By: Bestest Pussy March 23,2004
"Cunt sucking is for bitches.You're considered one of the girls because you dress like one. Posted By: Dr. Reverend March 24, 2004
"John Malkovich is one sexy bastard. I have such a thing for him. And I never realized til now, Skippy, how much you resemble John Malkovich...this, by default, makes you also one sexy bastard. See how that works?" Posted By: Zombie March, 26, 2004
"Too bad you live up north. It could have been beautiful.
Ever since I started coming here and saw your pic I wondered why you weren't getting more action. You are not a bad looking guy at all.
Maybe the girls are just...well, that's enough kindness for one day." Posted By: Serenity March 26, 2004
"Hell, if they make gay marriage legal, I'll marry you..." Posted By: Outpatient March 26, 2004
"You look creepier than the REM faggot. But he looks much more like a homersexual." Posted By: Dr. Reverend March 27, 2004
"Skippy, your hits will go up again if you post pictures of your man nipples. Lots of man nips." Posted By: Mary Magdalicious April 15, 2004
"What the fuck? You turning faggot? Posted By: Dr. Reverend April 16, 2004
"Sometimes it gets to be just a little too much. Sharing, that is." Posted By: Bee May 23, 2004
"I'll give you $5.00 if you make the fucking font you use on your blog bigger.
I'll give you $50.00 if you stop fucking writing about American politics.
I'll give you $500.00 if you fucking kill youself." Posted By: Dr. Reverend May 26, 2004
"Of course women like jerks.
Why the fuck do you think they like me?
I guess you've learned nothing from me over all these years." Posted By: Dr. Reverend May 29, 2004
"Sometimes a bitch just has to die." Posted By: Ford W. Maverick May 29, 2004
"It looks like we have more in common than the swastikas carved in our foreheads."Posted By: Dr. Reverend May 29, 2004
"This might be a shallow and 'Waiting-for-Godot-like' comment but...you seem to have not only brains but also beauty." Posted By: Nietzscheswife June 7, 2004
"Skippy, you are such a twisted bastard. Seriously. Why haven't we had sex yet?"Posted By: 0phelia June 25, 2004
"Just found your site. I find some of the things you say quite disgusting. And really quite enjoyable,so keep up the good work."Posted By: Big Al June 28, 2004
"I've read most of your blog. I'd say that so far it's the best I've come across, and believe me, I've seen a few. It's funny, well written (except for the spelling...) and interesting. There will always be those few idiots who just don't get it. It's useless to get worked up about it." Posted By: Johnny June 30, 2004
"Skippy... Go for the facial tattoo. I dig em', and fuck what those other bitches think. You can always bite their tits off if they back talk you." Posted By: Mary Magdalicious July 1, 2004
"Go fuck yourself up your butt." Posted By: Reek Stankleberry July 6, 2004
"Well if ass-fucking won't keep Satan away, I just don't know what will." Posted By: Dr. Reverend July 7, 2004
"dude, you're killing me. keep it up." Posted By: Son of Nixon July 22, 2004
"Are you always either naked or in a suit?" Posted By: Rehella July 22, 2004
"That person should speak for himself or herself. 'Cause you really are that much of a cunt, skippy." Posted By: Kilgore Trout August 4, 2004
"I've read you for a long time but have never commented before. That isn't a slight to your great writing ability, it's mainly because I don't want to be seen here!" Posted By: Paul August 4, 2004
" Dead on. Bulls-eye. I take back what I said about you being a cunt. For now." Posted By: Kilgore Trout August 4, 2004
"Know what, Skippy? You're alright." Posted By: Anna August 18, 2004
"Excellent work. Damn you for being so dead on." Posted By: The Maximum Leader August 24, 2004
"Skippy, fuck the puppy idea. Try getting a monkey that smokes. That will get you laid." Posted By: Mary Magdalicious August 27, 2004
"As to the beard - I like the clean shaven better - and what's wrong with a bald head? Bald heads are hot on some guys - unfortunately most can't pull it off * sigh * You look like you can pull it off though and that's a good thing - not a bad.
BTW, love your blog. I saw it in my referrers and thought it was just a random hit. Then I started reading and found you to be hilarious - it was only after about 10 posts that I noticed you linked me. I was more than flattered - linked by someone I was about to link anyway - awesome. Thanks" Posted By: Kinky August 27, 2004
"Fuckin' Goy bastard." Posted By: Dr Reverend December 19,2004
"Who does a guy have to sleep with to get one of his Skippy quotes pasted to the sidebar?
Great googly-moogly." Posted By: Smallholder December 20, 2004
"Are you a child molester or what's the story?" Posted By: Fukinator, December 28, 2004
"Sick dude." Posted By: DCayer December 29, 2004
"You officially suck." Posted By: Sorry, January 22, 2005
"I heart you, Skippy" Posted By: Karinsky, January 25, 2005
"As I've stated before, you were quite skilled in bed and I had no need to fake any of my multiple orgasms." Posted By: 0phelia, June 30, 2005
"I love Skippy. I swear I do. The only blogger more twisted than me." Posted on: Velociworld, July 26, 2005
" You are so fucking ignorant about America. And while the American people ARE stupid, so are you." Posted By: Bill Lassiter, August 2, 2005
"How can you not love a man who hates himself so viciously?" Posted on: It's All About De , August 31, 2005
"If I wasn't positive that all Canadian men had tiny penises, I'd be all over that Skippy." Posted On: It's All About De
"I've seen pictures of you and I'd say you're fuckable." Posted By: Joan, September 29, 2005
" I love your posts on Canadian politics even more than I love your posts on porn.
And I love your porn posts.
Why the hell do you waste all this talent on the internet? Write a book or something, goddammit! Posted By: Cliff S., November 17, 2005
"Let it never be said that underneath your self-cavilling, bitter (yet strangely egomaniacal) surface that you never take the time to give the people what they want. Even if it's just one people. Gawd bless you, Skippy! Posted By: Locke, November 18, 2005
"Wow! I don't know that I've ever been flattered and yet somewhat revolted at the same time... It's an interesting sensation." Posted By: Dewey in Toronto, December 1, 2005
"Very often, debating you is like playing whack a mole: You pop up some premised assertion moles, I pull out my mallet and start whacking, then you pop up more premised assertion moles - which are mostly or completely unrelated to the original moles I was whacking at. Your stock of moles seemingly stretches into infinity. And yet, an endless supply of moles does not equate to cogent argument.
Very often, debating you is like speaking to a salesman who will not answer a particular direct question, and instead flies off on the flight of rhetorical splendor known as "baffling them with bullshit." I'm impressed with your rhetorical skills, and your IQ, and your accumulation of knowledge. I'm impressed that I'm the American citizen, yet you might have a more thorough knowledge of the American Constitution than I. And yet, these impressive things are not substitutes for cogent argument."Posted By; gcotharn, December 21, 2005
"Besides, you seem to think you're the least respectable person I know. While you're often right, you're wrong on that count. Careful, I might out YOU as a nice guy. Or something." Posted By: Dewey In Toronto, December 27, 2005
"I've been to Toronto. The most dangerous thing I saw there was an 11 foot tall red head with shaved balls."Posted By: Judy, December 31, 2005
"There was this "Caught on Tape!" video I watched back in my highschool days where one of the scenes shows two people starting to cross the railroad tracks. One looks up at the last minute and sees the train, the other does not. In the commercial, it cuts away just before the train does its thing, but the video...
Your blog is like a twisted version of the video. We know the train is going liquify you in shocking gory fashion, but that's why we keep coming back. It's so much more fun that we both know the train is coming and you still gleefully walk into its path...and we love you all the more for it." Posted By:Locke, January 13, 2006
"Fuck. I'm hooked." Posted By: DeAnna, January 14, 2006
"Your Maximum Leader has found Skippy's commentary more insightful and interesting than anyone elses. So now he supposes that Skippy will go back to writing about porn and strippers he meets in the subway." Posted By: The Maximum Leader on Naked Villainy January 24, 2006
"Slightly crazed is fine, but with the beard you look like a total nutjob. If you ever hope to get laid again, for fuck's sake, Skippy, NEVER, EVER grow a saddam beard. You're welcome."Posted By: The Lady O, 28 January, 2006
"Maybe we should get married. My readers could support us by purchasing my worn panties and you could be the panty pimp." Posted By; Joan 28 January 2006
" I know it must be hard for you...being objectified by women all the time. But come on, how can they really help themselves? Have you seen yourself lately? Your pheramones preceed you into a room (as does your crotch). Don't blame it all on them...you did choose to leave your house. :D" Posted By: Joan, 3 February, 2006
"Skippy, you sarcastic twerp." Posted By: Arwen, 8 February 2006
"Just so you know.. if I had to choose between Moussaoui or Skippy.. You'd win. Even if I know what an asshole you are. Posted By; Judy, 13 February 2006
"I'd be willing to sign a legal document stating that is IS ok, in fact, to masturbate whilst thinking of me." Posted By: DeAnna (Who seems unaware of my reputation as an outlaw) February 24, 2006
"Feel free to masturbate while thinking of me...actually, do you need some of my panties to help you with that?" Posted By: Joan, February 24, 2006
"I blame myself for this. I have been too lenient with you. Your Godless behaviour must come to an end. You will receive a severe beating this weekend and I am contemplating removing your testicles." Posted By: Dr. Reverend, February 24, 2006
"Just remember skippy, the US never threw a fit when you smuggled your own personal WMD over the border twice a year. After all, it wasn't like you were hiding in your pants or anything.
All's fair in love and war, so to speak." Posted By: Judy, April 4, 2006
"Wow...nothing hotter than a man willing to issue fatwas for pussy." Posted By: Joan, April 16, 2006
"You sir, are a brilliant writer." Posted By: Judy, May 4, 2006
"I think I'm falling in love." Posted By: DeAnna, May 11, 2006
"THIS IS THE MOST DIABOLICAL FALSITY YOU HAVE EVER ENGAGED IN!!!!
I was intending to kick you in the face upon our next meeting, but now it's obvious that I must douse your scrotum in kerosene and set your testicles aflame. Alas, it is the only way you will learn." Posted By: Dr. Reverend, May 12, 2006
"And i would like to commend you on some excellent blogging. This particular story would normally warrant a few cryptically humorous lines and a link. To an ordinary blogger. But you managed to wring an essay of New Yorker-esque proportions out of it. That takes talent. Your beautiful young friend is right. I see big things for you in the future." Posted By: Annika, June 4, 2006
" I like a man who will unabashedly tell someone his penis size because hes unashamed. Thats hot.
*raises hand* I'll take that 6.5, thank ya" Posted By: Kinky, June 6, 2006
"Elvis, like skippy, is the very definition of rock and roll. Posted By: Rube, June 10, 2006
" I'm beginning to think you're the only good man left in the world, skippy. WTF?" Posted By: By: DeAnns, June 11, 2006
"Just so everyone knows.
Skippy does indeed, taste like bacon.
And, any guy who doesn't know cum tastes good to real women, is clueless." Posted By: Judy, July 2, 2006
"There was a British columnist whose work was described as 'a suicide note in weekly installments.'
This blog is sort of like that." Posted By: Gadfly, July 6, 2006
"Jeez, Skippy. Sometimes I really hate coming here." Posted By: Cynlee, July 18, 2006
"Someone needs to throttle you with a riding crop...truly!" Posted By: Joan, July 18, 2006
"Holy mother of god. I just had an orgasm. It's official: I'm devoting the rest of my life to you, skippy." Posted By: DeAnna, July 19, 2006
"Skippy, sometimes I'm not quite sure of your sanity, but you are without a doubt the baddest morning news reading, quiz show hosting, talent introducing PIMP in the motherfuckin' blogosphere." Posted By: Shank, July 19, 2006
On Tuesday, Chretien's memoir, 
